Dell Chat Support is Terrible

[rabbit]

04/02/2008 03:35:50PM    Session Started with Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630)
04/02/2008 03:35:59PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Thank you for contacting Dell's Small and Medium Business Hardware Support, my name is Juan. How can I help you?"
04/02/2008 03:36:21PM    Spencer Ragen: "My screen is having a weird issues with displaying things"
04/02/2008 03:36:36PM    Spencer Ragen: "the bottom third or so is totally wrong."
04/02/2008 03:36:58PM    Spencer Ragen: "I uploaded a video of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xhNrWns848"
04/02/2008 03:37:10PM    Spencer Ragen: "I'm wondering how I can get this fixed"
04/02/2008 03:37:27PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "To ensure we are working with the correct system, the model type is a Latitude D820?"
04/02/2008 03:37:36PM    Spencer Ragen: "yes"
04/02/2008 03:37:40PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "What operating System are you running?"
04/02/2008 03:37:59PM    Spencer Ragen: "I'm dual booting Ubuntu Linux and Windows XP Professional"
04/02/2008 03:38:24PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "What have you done to resolve the problem?"
04/02/2008 03:38:34PM    Spencer Ragen: "Nothing"
04/02/2008 03:38:42PM    Spencer Ragen: "I'm positive it is a hardware issue"
04/02/2008 03:38:51PM    Spencer Ragen: "As it used to stop occuring if I moved the screen"
04/02/2008 03:39:06PM    Spencer Ragen: "it also appears during the Dell boot loader and the BIOS screen"
04/02/2008 03:39:18PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Just to let you know your Service contract will expire on 2009-09-14. are you chatting from the system in question?"
04/02/2008 03:39:30PM    Spencer Ragen: "Yes I am"
04/02/2008 03:39:59PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "have you try to boot in safe mode to check if the problem is there?"
04/02/2008 03:40:07PM    Spencer Ragen: "Yes"
04/02/2008 03:40:12PM    Spencer Ragen: "it appears everywhere"
04/02/2008 03:40:16PM    Spencer Ragen: "unless the power is off"
04/02/2008 03:40:25PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Please give me 4-5 minutes while I look up some information on this issue."
04/02/2008 03:44:28PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "do you have an external monitor to attach to the system?"
04/02/2008 03:44:46PM    Spencer Ragen: "No"
04/02/2008 03:45:53PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Run the Preboot System Assessment (PSA/PSA+) To launch the PSA/PSA+ onboard diagnostics, perform the following steps: Power down the system if it is on. Press and hold the <Fn> key while pressing the power button and then release both buttons. The PSA"
&nbsp   diagnostics sequence begins. Note: If the sequence does not begin, press and hold the Access Direct button or the speaker mute button above the keyboard while pressing the power button. Record the sequence of beeps in the log. If the computer s
&nbsp   till has no video after emitting the tones,
04/02/2008 03:47:47PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Perform that diagnostic, You will receive an e-mail with your case number or I can have it ready in 2-3 minutes. Do you want to wait?"
04/02/2008 03:48:25PM    Spencer Ragen: "I can wait, but what is the Access Direct button?"
04/02/2008 03:49:30PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "is the one with a little house on it?"
04/02/2008 03:49:52PM    Spencer Ragen: "I don't see any such button"
04/02/2008 03:50:34PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "where is locate it?"
04/02/2008 03:50:57PM    Spencer Ragen: "What?"
04/02/2008 03:51:33PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "You are asking about the Access Direct Button. Correct?"
04/02/2008 03:51:56PM    Spencer Ragen: "Yes"
04/02/2008 03:52:30PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "I will send you a link to locate the button that you are talking about. okay?"
04/02/2008 03:52:42PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630) sends page: "http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/latd820/en/ug/about.htm#wp1174231"
04/02/2008 03:54:06PM    Spencer Ragen: "the Access Direct button is not listed there"
04/02/2008 03:54:34PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "where is locate it in your system?"
04/02/2008 03:55:02PM    Spencer Ragen: "A "locate it" button?"
04/02/2008 03:56:14PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Spencer, I am asking you. Where is locate it the button that you are asking for? in your system"
04/02/2008 03:56:52PM    Spencer Ragen: "What button? I do not see an "Access Direct" button on my system or on that page."
04/02/2008 03:58:02PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Spencer, You are asking about a Access Direct Button. Would you please be more specific about your question.?"
04/02/2008 03:58:35PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): ".....an Access*"
04/02/2008 03:58:43PM    Spencer Ragen: "I don't know, you told me there was an Access Direct button"
04/02/2008 03:59:49PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "ok. Your system doesn't have that button."
04/02/2008 04:00:16PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "just use the speaker mute button."
04/02/2008 04:00:20PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "Note: When a Dell computer operating system has been modified outside of the factory, it will no longer be supported by Dell. In that case, contact the operating system manufacturer. Dell remains available to troubleshoot problems on a fee basis."
04/02/2008 04:00:41PM    Spencer Ragen: "Okay."
04/02/2008 04:00:47PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "The following information relates to your recent chat: Case #<removed>"
04/02/2008 04:00:53PM    Spencer Ragen: "So I should restart now and run the diagnostic?"
04/02/2008 04:00:54PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "You will be receiving a transcript of our conversation via email. If you require assistance in the future, please visit us online at www.Dell.com/SmallBusinessChat or call 1-800-456-3355. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

BAH!

The guy on the phone is so much more helpful.

[CrAz3D]

04/02/2008 03:58:43PM    Spencer Ragen: "I don't know, you told me there was an Access Direct button"
04/02/2008 03:59:49PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "ok. Your system doesn't have that button."
04/02/2008 04:00:16PM    Agent (SMB_JUAN_172630): "just use the speaker mute button."

I'm surprised that there isn't a "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" in there ... I might have.

[rabbit]

My desire to have my computer fixed outweighs my desire to inform people of how retarded they are.

[AntiVirus]

That was pretty painful.  I've dealt with a lot of Chat Support people for many different things, and I have always noticed that all they do is tell me to do stuff that I have already tried, and when I tell them that I have done something more advanced than what they are telling me to do, they have no idea what I am talking about.  I swear, they are all robots on a loop with limited AI!!!! :l

[MyndFyre]

Spencer Ragen

Your name is Spencer Ragen?

Man, I wouldn't have voted for you if I'd known your name was so gay.   

[AntiVirus]

Spencer Ragen

Your name is Spencer Ragen?

Man, I wouldn't have voted for you if I'd known your name was so gay.   

Rofl!

[rabbit]

Spencer Ragen

Your name is Spencer Ragen?

Man, I wouldn't have voted for you if I'd known your name was so gay.   

Hey, you're a dick.

[iago]

Hey, don't diss it, his name is only one letter off from being awesome noodles!

[CrAz3D]

Spencer Ramen?

... lame.

[rabbit]

Spencer Ramen?

... lame.

And Ramen is only 2 letters off from being a Hindu saint!

[trust]

Spencer Ramen?

... lame.

And Ramen is only 2 letters off from being a Hindu saint!

2 letters is a lot

[while1]

I do not believe it's unreasonable that most tech support assumes you're an idiot and /or aren't as savvy with computers as most of us here.  However, my beef with tech support comes from the fact that a lot of the time you end up talking to someone not in the U.S. and who doesn't speak english (errrr American, there IS a difference) as their first language.  From reading the chat log, most of the pain came from the fact that the support technician obviously wasn't a native english speaker.... the context of the sentence and the question marks made me want to gouge my eyes out.