what to do if...

[warz]

you used to ball it up on this chick big time... dated for awhile, could almost drop the "L"ove word. but, you did something dumb and ruined it. now, its been a few years, but you get the feeling she still "feels" you, and you know you still "feel" her. you have trouble talking to her though because she doesnt always reply to your IMs, or facebook or whatever for example, but you feel like its cause you typically message her late at night when she suspect youre drunk.

i dont know what im gettnig at, but i feel like crazed here, or whoever used to pussy foot around about girls. ive got this girl i used to date, but kind of ended the relationship in a bad way. i never felt like we were really done, though, and i feel like she still has feelings for me, and i know i have feelings for her. but i dont know how to kind of fix the relationship. i can send her random IMs, or whaever, but that doesnt seem to be the right approach. any idea? maybe a O(n) approach? or linked list? i dunno.

[Rule]

Why don't you call her on the phone? Internet communication kind of sucks for this stuff.  Unless you want to write her some long e-mail, or something, that you wouldn't be able to get out on the phone.

[warz]

well yea i would, maybe i should. i dont know. shes kind of the bitchy-type. shes not going to talk to me unless she feels like ive appologized enough, or something. i did appologize, but shes still just being girly about it. i dont know what to do.

her friends tell me she still talks about me, so i know shes just being stubborn.

this has been an on going thing for a long time, so i dunno. maybe ill just have to see how it plays out. maybe she'll grow out of it or something. and what i did wasnt even that bad, lol. i didnt cheat or anything, it was something else retarded.

[Rule]

I hate how many games women play.  I wish people could just be forthright.  I was thinking about how Trust was talking about how you have to play hard to get, etc., and how he avoided making out with this girl he met, even though she was acting like she wanted to, and how she appreciated that.  He might be right about a lot of girls.  But it just seems so backwards and pointless. Why can't people just say what they feel, and be straightforward about stuff.  Then we can focus on the important aspects of life, and stop the mind games.

[MyndFyre]

Yeah, you should just be honest and up-front with her.  Tell her how you feel, do it in person or on the phone (in person is WAY better because there's SO much communicated in body language).  If she's not interested, you've said your piece and that's all you can do.  If she is, well, there you go.

Warning: Global warming may have suddenly stopped with the sudden freeze of hell.  I just agreed with Rule.

Wow.  And then I read what he said about Trust.  I need to look outside to see if there's flying pork.

[warz]

haha, oddly enough, i know what trust was saying even though i havent seen that post. a lot of girls in high school, typically, like guys to be essentially assholes to them. they like it when guys blow them off, or dont respond to their calls, etc. it gives them something to bitch about to their friends, and also makes them feel like they can "change" you. it's just how girls are.

[Newby]

Why can't people just say what they feel, and be straightforward about stuff.  Then we can focus on the important aspects of life, and stop the mind games.

Women would be bored. It'd be nothing but cooking, cleaning and fucking for them!

[Ender]

There are no mind games to girls. At least not with smart girls. What Trust said is wrong.

The only thing you have to know is confidence.

By the way, warz, I'm not sure whether you're joking or not in this thread, but if not, the obvious solution is just to call her.

[Rule]

Haha, I can't believe I'm saying this either.  But MF is right.  Seeing her in person would be a lot better than the phone if possible.

In person > Phone > E-mail* >> IM

*An e-mail is good if you can write something very eloquent you wouldn't be able to express in person.  In this case, an e-mail could be at the top of the list.  It depends.  For maximal effect, you could try a hand-written letter.


Ender: I disagree.  I've known smart girls who play games.  They are emotional and sometimes very irrational, even if they do have the capacity for high-level reasoning.

[topaz~]

Take some more anti depressants and talk to her.

[Towelie]

I hate how many games women play.  I wish people could just be forthright.  I was thinking about how Trust was talking about how you have to play hard to get, etc., and how he avoided making out with this girl he met, even though she was acting like she wanted to, and how she appreciated that.  He might be right about a lot of girls.  But it just seems so backwards and pointless. Why can't people just say what they feel, and be straightforward about stuff.  Then we can focus on the important aspects of life, and stop the mind games.

I agree with being straightforward, but that just wont work when you first meet a woman haha.

[CrAz3D]

you used to ball it up on this chick big time... dated for awhile, could almost drop the "L"ove word. but, you did something dumb and ruined it. now, its been a few years, but you get the feeling she still "feels" you, and you know you still "feel" her. you have trouble talking to her though because she doesnt always reply to your IMs, or facebook or whatever for example, but you feel like its cause you typically message her late at night when she suspect youre drunk.

i dont know what im gettnig at, but i feel like crazed here, or whoever used to pussy foot around about girls. ive got this girl i used to date, but kind of ended the relationship in a bad way. i never felt like we were really done, though, and i feel like she still has feelings for me, and i know i have feelings for her. but i dont know how to kind of fix the relationship. i can send her random IMs, or whaever, but that doesnt seem to be the right approach. any idea? maybe a O(n) approach? or linked list? i dunno.

Hey now, I never rambled about talking to 'em, just the state of confusion they always put me (and every other straight man alive) in.


I agree with Rule.  ACTUALLY talk to her.

Call her, go do something.

[truste1]

There are no mind games to girls. At least not with smart girls. What Trust said is wrong.

Not true. All girls play games, with the exception of maybe girls with low self-esteem who are too needy to risk playing a game. There's this one really smart girl that does this to me since freshman year. If I make an advance on her, it's usually shot down...so then I lay low for awhile and then she starts calling or messaging me, and then the cycle just repeats.

Call her, ask her out for a drink or coffee or something. Don't have sex with her or kiss her or anything. Somehow tease her a little, make her feel like she should be glad that you decided to call. But definitely call.

[iago]

Haha, I can't believe I'm saying this either.  But MF is right.  Seeing her in person would be a lot better than the phone if possible.

In person > Phone > E-mail* >> IM

*An e-mail is good if you can write something very eloquent you wouldn't be able to express in person.  In this case, an e-mail could be at the top of the list.  It depends.  For maximal effect, you could try a hand-written letter.

You forgot "text messaging"

[CrAz3D]

There are no mind games to girls. At least not with smart girls. What Trust said is wrong.

Dont try to play off your man-dates as women .

All women are complex.  They dont make sense.  Dudes are simple: sex, beer, food, sex.

[SNiFFeR]

Personally, I wouldn't go see her in person I would just continue on with the random IM's maybe phone calls here and there but don't go out of your way man you don't want to seem desperate or anything. If she really does have feelings for you and is playing games like an idiot let her play her game and just sit back and watch her come to you. If she doesn't have feelings for you, she most likely won't come back. Play the same stupid game they are and pretend like you haven't the slightest clue about what's going on. Just my two cents.

Drunk conversations > sober conversations.

[c0Ld]

Personally, I wouldn't go see her in person I would just continue on with the random IM's

Me too, but mainly because I have problems talking to anyone I find even mildly attractive. In reality, you probably should go talk to her.

[abc]

Seeing her is definitely the right approach... chances are I'm going to be nicer in person that over AIM or an e-mail or even the phone.. So if you want to know what she's really feeling see her in person you'll get a feel of if she's sincere..etc by her facial expressions.

[MyndFyre]

Personally, I wouldn't go see her in person I would just continue on with the random IM's

Me too, but mainly because I have problems talking to anyone I find even mildly attractive. In reality, you probably should go talk to her.

You both fail.  Cue up this sound and play it for yourselves.

[Kaleeko]

Try to talk to her in person. An email or letter can help, but it can also be a hinderance... Sometimes it makes meeting in person afterwards a little awkward, even if it breaks the ice for you. It's best to just talk, whether it's on the phone or in person -- but in face-to-face is always your best bet. Ensures you see her facial expressions as you talk through things, which can be really important when talking about serious stuff.

Good luck!

[warz]

wow, lots of replies. well, i was drunk last night and just thinking about it. i havent tried talking to her for awhile. i just moved on, really, but every time i see her friends and they talk about her talking about me that gets me thinking again.

im not going to talk to her in person, or call her, or anything. the way i've been looking at it is if we run into each other one day randomly, and hang out, and things are different after that then who knows... but im not really holding my breath.

[while1]

warz, you're such a tease.

[warz]

ppshhhhyaaaaaaah

[Kaleeko]

Wussy.

Just kidding. Sort of.

[SNiFFeR]

warz bro stop being a pussy and fuck that shit up dawg.

[Warrior]

This thread is gold.

[Krazed]

Seriously. I read like three responses and you guys REALLY suggested e-mail.... Personally, invite her out to dinner,  maybe a movie, or maybe just invite her to come get fucking trashed.

[truste1]

Seriously. I read like three responses and you guys REALLY suggested e-mail.... Personally, invite her out to dinner,  maybe a movie, or maybe just invite her to come get fucking trashed.

That's when the true feelings come out. Drunken words are sober thoughts.