Author Topic: [NSFW] Text based game  (Read 3465 times)

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Offline Sidoh

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[NSFW] Text based game
« on: January 15, 2009, 04:44:49 pm »
There aren't any pictures here, but the language is definitely NSFW, lol.


Type start and hit 'Enter' or 'Return' to start.

Welcome to the Trapped in the Cupboard, a text adventure game.
Type help at any time to learn the game commands.

You are trapped in a cupboard.

> move
Sorry, I don't understand that command.

> kick
Sorry, I don't understand that command.

> Escape
Sorry, I don't understand that command.

> take out beretta
BONUS: Your score is now 1.
Good thinking! You pull out your Beretta.

> open cupboard
BONUS: Your score is now 2.
How astute. You open the cupboard and step out.

You're in the bedroom of a Chicago apartment. There is a door to your east.
Through a window you can see that it's a lovely spring day.
There is a dildo lying on the bed.

> take dildo
BONUS: Your score is now 3.
Free dildo? How could you NOT take it? You shove it in your pants.

> use dildo
You slowly insert the dildo into your anus. At first it hurts, but you soon begin to enjoy it. As it slides in deeper into your rectum, you feel a distinct pressure you've never felt before. Thinking you've finally found your anal G-spot, you violently thrust the dildo towards your lower intestine. Just as you're about to climax, you hear a "clink" sound. You look down to see a key on the floor.
The pressure is suddenly gone. And you now have a key. Congratulations, homo.
BONUS: Your score is now 5.

> east
The living room is especially spacious. There is a door to the bedroom to the west.
There is another door to your east.
There is a walnut here.

> talk to walnut
'Hi, I'm a walnut. What's going on?'

> not much
'Cool.'
That walnut is a surprisingly cool guy.
BONUS: Your score is now 6.

> sleep
Zzzzz...you have a wonderful dream where R. Kelly is peeing on you. So warm, so liquidy.

> unlock door
BONUS: Your score is now 7.
You insert the shit-covered key into the tight little keyhole. You turn it ever so slowly.
The door unlocks.

> east
You are in the hallway of an apartment building. There's an elevator to the south.
There's a button on the wall.

> push button
BONUS: Your score is now 8.
You push the button and you're amazed when it lights up.
A few seconds later you hear a "ding" noise and the elevator opens.

> south
You enter the elevator.
You wait while the elevator descends. R. Kelly is in here wearing a white suit.
He says, 'Hey.'

> dickshot
You aim your Beretta at R. Kelly's large, black balls and squeeze the trigger like your life depended on it. There's a fireworks-like explosion of urine, semen and blood. The multicolored liquid splatters every surface of the elevator like a Jackson Pollock painting. It is perhaps the most beautiful sight ever known to man.
BONUS: Your score is now 13.
Congratulations! You are no longer Trapped in the Cupboard.
You have finished the game!

Congratulations, you got a perfect score!
Type quit to return to Forumwarz!

Offline Newby

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Re: [NSFW] Text based game
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2009, 04:56:21 pm »
Too bad that game sucks horridly even originally. :(
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline iago

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Re: [NSFW] Text based game
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2009, 06:05:21 pm »
Poor R. Kelly. :(

Offline c0nfu53d

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Re: [NSFW] Text based game
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2009, 02:03:48 am »
That is hilarious.