In all seriousness. A gun and ammunition, body armor, a supply of MREs, sleeping bag, a solar powered or crank powered laptop with a collection of howto articles & Wikipedia, medicine, lots of gold, water purifier, clothing, bugspray, soap, toothbrush/toothpaste.
Edit: Scratch the laptop, too heavy. iPod touch with solar charger and relevant apps (navigation, phrases, recipes, first aid, etc.) and wikipedia downloads. Silencer for the gun. Something lightweight to sell...retractable pens maybe. Modern bow.