So today I decided to crack open my computer and give it a good cleaning. All went pretty well, and I got it all back together and hooked up. Turned it on, went through the motions....and Windows failed critically during the boot screen. "What the hell?" was the first thing to pop into my mind, shortly followed by a bunch of thoughts that are far too indecent to post.
So, I unhooked everything, opened it up again, and checked all the connections. They were all good and nothing was interfering with anything else, so I hooked up the essentials and tried again. Same thing.
I've since checked everything four times over. The absolute only difference is that there is a lot less dust in my machine. So, everyone, get out your Windows software boxes and write the following in under operating requirements: LOTS OF DUST