Important news!

[iago]

I'm gay.

[rabbit]

Good to know.

[iago]

Man, does nobody read the forum on long weekends? I was hoping for some kind of response that prompted me to post more.

*continues to wait*

[deadly7]

I read it. I spent the rest of my weekend attempting to come up with a witty retort. All I have so far is:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FAG

[Blaze]

Completely unexpected.

[iago]

I read it. I spent the rest of my weekend attempting to come up with a witty retort. All I have so far is:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL FAG

clever!

Completely unexpected.

I'll take that as a complement. Stereotypes suck.

[Joe]

So, I'm not quite sure if I'm serious. I suppose "o rly gay" via IM wasn't the best way to evoke a serious response.

This reminds me of David Spade's vegan waiter in Grandma's Boy.

[rabbit]

Shiloh.

[iago]

So, I'm not quite sure if I'm serious. I suppose "o rly gay" via IM wasn't the best way to evoke a serious response.

*shrug* there just happened to be another conversation we had to have at the time (since I'd sent you a bunch of crap that I meant to send a different 'joe').

This reminds me of David Spade's vegan waiter in Grandma's Boy.

Haven't seen..

[Joe]

Ah, then you wouldn't get it. He was a vegan, and gay.

[iago]

I suspect there's a bit of a correlation between people who are vegan and people who will admit that they're gay.

Both go against the social norm, for one thing. And both require awkward conversations when you meet new people

[rabbit]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMtumLrJF7g

[iago]

Hah, "stupid fucking ass in the red shirt" -- but they never say he's gay. Stereotype!

[iago]

Anyway, brief background (because I feel the need to say it, and nobody has asked! )...

I've felt this way longer than I can remember, probably since highschool (like 12 years ago). I never *really* considered it a big deal, and still don't. I've never denied it, but I haven't advertised it either. If anybody asked me explicitly, I always avoided answering the question (usually "are you coming onto me?" is enough ). The only person I ever told was during an interview for security clearance -- oddly, she wouldn't let me evade it, and I don't like to lie directly. I didn't get the clearance.

I hate the term "coming out" (and I hate the fact that people default to hetero in the first place, and have to explicitly tell people when they aren't), but such is life. Stupid society! I still have no plans for a relationship or anything, I like being single, but I finally decided that it was best to throw down my cards. Hell, maybe somebody else will be inspired somewhere.

My biggest concern is being treated differently -- I haven't changed who I am, and I don't want people to think I did, or to avoid saying things in front of my or whatever.

But yeah, I decided that this was the best place to post first, since nobody here has any relationship to the rest of my life. I don't want it to be a secret anymore. I told other close friends after posting here, too -- eventually I'll tell everybody. My dad's going to be interesting...

I'd like to know what people honestly think, though. Don't be nice because I'm me -- it's impossible to hurt my feelings. Challenge me, ask questions, etc -- just like the vegan thing. Defending being vegan only made me stronger!

<edit> Joe, can you go ahead and send me that picture of your penis again? (kidding!!! )

[rabbit]

Fag.

And it's not like the vegan thing at all.  You aren't shunning bacon by being gay, so I don't care.  I've never had a problem with gay people.  In fact, quite the opposite....they tend to smell better than straight people and aren't competition for the very very very few females that were at my college.

But you still suck for being vegan.

[Joe]

How I feel? Like you said, gay Ron or straight Ron, he's Ron. Still doesn't have a girlfriend, still a security researcher and zombie enthusiast, and still looks studly in a tiger suit, but I just have to watch how I say it. You're not the first one on these forums to say they're gay, and I'm not sure you'll be the last.

If an instance of the class Human changes it's property of sexual orientation, it's still a Human object.

[Newby]

I always assumed you were. I never took it negatively -- you're still one of my best friends online and I definitely talked with you more than anybody on my friends list back in high school. But yeah, I'm not surprised. Glad to see you're comfortable in coming out about it.

EDIT -- You never really talked about women or any previous girlfriends either, to clarify why I always assumed you were. Like, literally never. I'd bring up women and those conversations never went anywhere.

[Chavo]

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

(kidding )

[Joe]

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

LOL.

[deadly7]

Anyway, brief background (because I feel the need to say it, and nobody has asked! )...

I've felt this way longer than I can remember, probably since highschool (like 12 years ago). I never *really* considered it a big deal, and still don't. I've never denied it, but I haven't advertised it either. If anybody asked me explicitly, I always avoided answering the question (usually "are you coming onto me?" is enough ). The only person I ever told was during an interview for security clearance -- oddly, she wouldn't let me evade it, and I don't like to lie directly. I didn't get the clearance.

I hate the term "coming out" (and I hate the fact that people default to hetero in the first place, and have to explicitly tell people when they aren't), but such is life. Stupid society! I still have no plans for a relationship or anything, I like being single, but I finally decided that it was best to throw down my cards. Hell, maybe somebody else will be inspired somewhere.

My biggest concern is being treated differently -- I haven't changed who I am, and I don't want people to think I did, or to avoid saying things in front of my or whatever.

But yeah, I decided that this was the best place to post first, since nobody here has any relationship to the rest of my life. I don't want it to be a secret anymore. I told other close friends after posting here, too -- eventually I'll tell everybody. My dad's going to be interesting...

I'd like to know what people honestly think, though. Don't be nice because I'm me -- it's impossible to hurt my feelings. Challenge me, ask questions, etc -- just like the vegan thing. Defending being vegan only made me stronger!

<edit> Joe, can you go ahead and send me that picture of your penis again? (kidding!!! )

See, now it's just insensitive if I do my "loolol fag" thing, even as a joke! Why'd you have to go and ruin it for me? =( BECAUSE OF THIS, I WILL NOW HATE ALL HOMOSEXUALS FOREVER!!!!
TEXAS 4EVER!!!!!!!

[iago]

I always assumed you were. I never took it negatively -- you're still one of my best friends online and I definitely talked with you more than anybody on my friends list back in high school. But yeah, I'm not surprised. Glad to see you're comfortable in coming out about it.

EDIT -- You never really talked about women or any previous girlfriends either, to clarify why I always assumed you were. Like, literally never. I'd bring up women and those conversations never went anywhere.

Yeah, I know at least one friend in real life who's going to say the same thing. He's hinted at the question before, but I never answered it. I always felt like I was implicitly lying if I talked about girls with somebody, so I just avoided the subject entirely. I didn't feel TOO bad lying by omission, but to actually say something against what I believed didn't feel right. Ironically, now that I've said it, I'll feel more comfortable talking about girls with people because I know I won't be lying.

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

(kidding )

I should have a "coming out" party! Invite everybody over, then announce it. Then the strippers can show up (I'll see if I can hire the Hot Cops from Arrested Development). After taking my grandma to the hospital, it would be a blast!



Seriously, though, I still need to tell my parents. I wanted to tell my mom last night, but I laid down for a nap and she phoned me while I was sleeping -- not exactly ideal. I know what my mom's answer is going to be anyways: duh. Her and my sister, I'm 99% sure, have known forever.

[iago]

Fag.

And it's not like the vegan thing at all.  You aren't shunning bacon by being gay, so I don't care.  I've never had a problem with gay people.  In fact, quite the opposite....they tend to smell better than straight people and aren't competition for the very very very few females that were at my college.

But you still suck for being vegan.

You crack me up

It definitely isn't the same thing, not even close -- one is choice, the other is nature. I mean, I had very little say in whether or not I became vegan, right?

But, on the other hand, it still has the same effect of making a conversation awkward when you meet new people. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay" "Oh, my sister's friend is gay!" (or similar). The vegan thing is really similar -- "want to go for a burger?" "Nope, I'm vegan" "Oh yeah? My friend's son is vegan!". To be honest, it annoys me when people do that.

[iago]

How I feel? Like you said, gay Ron or straight Ron, he's Ron. Still doesn't have a girlfriend, still a security researcher and zombie enthusiast, and still looks studly in a tiger suit, but I just have to watch how I say it. You're not the first one on these forums to say they're gay, and I'm not sure you'll be the last.

I'm not?

Also, thanks @ the Tiger suit thing (I think)

If an instance of the class Human changes it's property of sexual orientation, it's still a Human object.

wow, nerd.

[rabbit]

But, on the other hand, it still has the same effect of making a conversation awkward when you meet new people. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay" "Oh, my sister's friend is gay!" (or similar). The vegan thing is really similar -- "want to go for a burger?" "Nope, I'm vegan" "Oh yeah? My friend's son is vegan!". To be honest, it annoys me when people do that.

In all honesty my conversations of that type have gone more like this:
"Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay." "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Nope, I'm single." and
"Want to get a burger?" "Nope, I've vegan." "Arg, jerk."

[Ender]

I kind of assumed it, too. I remember when Kaleeko applied to join you were the only one who was indifferent - everyone else felt strongly one way or the other. Also, you never talk about girls.

It's great that you're being open about it. I think that a lot of people can't sympathize with the gay community because they don't have anyone close to them who is gay. But when you're open about things like this, you can change someone's perspective.

It must have been hard keeping it a secret for so long... perhaps you worried how it would affect your relationships if/when it came out (sorry to use the phrase). I hope your parents take the right view on the matter - that is, to see you as Ron, unchanged - as everyone else here seems to be doing.

[iago]

I kind of assumed it, too. I remember when Kaleeko applied to join you were the only one who was indifferent - everyone else felt strongly one way or the other. Also, you never talk about girls.

I also don't say anything when a (potentially) good looking guy joins.

Haha, like that'd ever happen.

On that topic, if you want to run the first annual x86 beauty pageant, let me know!

It's great that you're being open about it. I think that a lot of people can't sympathize with the gay community because they don't have anyone close to them who is gay. But when you're open about things like this, you can change someone's perspective.

I agree. Works for vegan community, too, for what that's worth.

It must have been hard keeping it a secret for so long... perhaps you worried how it would affect your relationships if/when it came out (sorry to use the phrase). I hope your parents take the right view on the matter - that is, to see you as Ron, unchanged - as everyone else here seems to be doing.

Nah, it wasn't hard. I said this in an earlier post, I think, and I meant it: it isn't that big of a deal to me. I really have no good reason for "coming out" now, it just seemed like the right time. The only time I really chose now is because I have a friend I've grown close to and, although he is completely straight, I really want to share it with him (his response will be the same as yours and Newby's). But I consider this an all-or-nothing decision. I either tell everybody (even gradually) or nobody.

And yeah, I'm sure my parents and friends will be fine. I don't know anybody who's homophobic, and I wouldn't associate with somebody if they were.

[Joe]

I'm surprised nobody's pulled the "Joe, you're a religious nut, you have to hate iago now" card yet.

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

[iago]

I'm surprised nobody's pulled the "Joe, you're a religious nut, you have to hate iago now" card yet.

I was going to say that! But I decided to go the other way with the "picture of your penis" thing.

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Well, it's easier to tell people who are, for a large part, anonymous. And also people who, if they decide to totally reject you, I could live with.

Also, I've known most of you here longer than most people I know in real life, and I knew nobody would be negative and everybody would be supportive.

To be honest, I talked to some people first first on a "LGBTQ" forum that I'd never been to before, just for support, then posted here. Then I told a real-life friend who lives in Calgary but who I'm close to. And I mentioned it in passing to some random guy I was talking to on email.

And that's where I am. Still getting comfortable with the idea, because talking about it is still weird++ to me. But the responses here have been awesome, and help a lot.

[deadly7]

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Not at all. Sets him up to be at least a little well-received (because obviously he anticipated that nobody in our private board would [seriously] go around going "LOLOLOL UR GAY U LIKE PENISES") and could potentially have a discussion about it to gather his thoughts for the inevitable barrage of questions he'll later get.

[iago]

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Not at all. Sets him up to be at least a little well-received (because obviously he anticipated that nobody in our private board would [seriously] go around going "LOLOLOL UR GAY U LIKE PENISES") and could potentially have a discussion about it to gather his thoughts for the inevitable barrage of questions he'll later get.

The first person I told responded "LOL FAGGOT!" (but he's gay, too -- just poking fun ).

[Hitmen]

And yeah, I'm sure my parents and friends will be fine. I don't know anybody who's homophobic, and I wouldn't associate with somebody if they were.

Glad everyone is being supportive! I've known a couple people over the years who have had a really rough time with telling family, some people are just really fucked up.

But the responses here have been awesome, and help a lot.

that's an awfully gay thing to say
(just kidding, <3)

[deadly7]

(just kidding, <3)

YOU'RE GAY TOO?

OMG.

[iago]

(just kidding, <3)

YOU'RE GAY TOO?

OMG.

Well, he DID marry me at one point... thanks for reminding me of that!

[deadly7]

Well, he DID marry me at one point... thanks for reminding me of that!

that means you've indirectly had gay relations with half of x86!!!! I SMELL A CONSPIRACY.

iago <---(married to)-----> hitmen -----(shares a board with)----> newby -----(has had buttseks with)---->all the californians and myndy!!!!!

[iago]

So uh.... I just told my mom.

It was hard+++ to get up the balls to do it. I stumbled quite a bit at first. But once I said it, it was easy. She said that, while she didn't already know, she wondered. And she's totally cool with it. She's going to tell my grandparents and stepdad, and none of them should care.

Woohoo!

The fun part is going to be telling my dad... that side of the family is a little more traditional.

[dark_drake]

So... does this mean, if I visit Canada, we have to go to gay bars?

[Armin]

Someone help me find the picture of iago grabbing Sidoh's ass in Vegas...

[iago]

So... does this mean, if I visit Canada, we have to go to gay bars?

Haha, none of the bars I go to are gay bars. I go to a lot of punk type places, and people in that scene rarely care about things like sexuality.

[iago]

Someone help me find the picture of iago grabbing Sidoh's ass in Vegas...

Haha dude, that was a tight spot (err, a tricky situation). Sidoh's girlfriend put me in an awkward position when she took that picture. Long ago, I made a deal that I wouldn't do anything with/to/whatever a friend who isn't gay, no matter what. It just wouldn't be right, for way too many reasons. I can openly say, now, that Sidoh, err, isn't a bad looking guy. So when his girlfriend suggested I do that, I was like "oh crap.. what do I do?" -- so I just faked it, and touched nothing for real. So she took the picture, and we moved on and had a fun night!

I seriously hope I don't offend Sidoh by saying that.

[Blaze]

Haha dude, that was a tight spot

Hahahahahha

[Ender]

Someone help me find the picture of iago grabbing Sidoh's ass in Vegas...

I can openly say, now, that Sidoh, err, isn't a bad looking guy.

But I'm better looking, no?

[Ergot]

Someone help me find the picture of iago grabbing Sidoh's ass in Vegas...

Haha dude, that was a tight spot (err, a tricky situation). Sidoh's girlfriend put me in an awkward position when she took that picture. Long ago, I made a deal that I wouldn't do anything with/to/whatever a friend who isn't gay, no matter what. It just wouldn't be right, for way too many reasons. I can openly say, now, that Sidoh, err, isn't a bad looking guy. So when his girlfriend suggested I do that, I was like "oh crap.. what do I do?" -- so I just faked it, and touched nothing for real. So she took the picture, and we moved on and had a fun night!

I seriously hope I don't offend Sidoh by saying that.

I bet he would have liked it. He doesn't mind when I do it to him every night Also... I fap to a picture of him every night, there's a framed picture of him on my nightstand <3

[iago]

Someone help me find the picture of iago grabbing Sidoh's ass in Vegas...

I can openly say, now, that Sidoh, err, isn't a bad looking guy.

But I'm better looking, no?

It isn't a competition!

[iago]

Told another friend today (one of my two closest friends -- the other one is the first person I told after posting here). So now my best friends know. And you guys know. And my mommy knows. That just leaves dad, and some other friends. Woohoo!

[Joe]

This thread is just what we needed to bring activity back to x86. People should turn gay more often.

[Blaze]

This thread is just what we needed to bring activity back to x86. People should turn gay more often.

You'll find that people just don't "turn gay". 

[Joe]

I was avoiding the words "come out".

[rabbit]

I was avoiding the words "come out".

Planning some sort of party or something, Joe?

[Towelie]

You know, this doesn't surprise me at all. You always seemed to avoid the topic of girls haha. Sidoh's gf was wanting us to do more than grab ass, so that probably would have been even more awkward for you lol.

So, now that we know why you haven't had a girlfriend, where is your boyfriend? We can now make fun of you for being single, but by using the correct gender

[iago]

You know, this doesn't surprise me at all. You always seemed to avoid the topic of girls haha. Sidoh's gf was wanting us to do more than grab ass, so that probably would have been even more awkward for you lol.

Pics or it didn't happen!

Errrr, nevermind.

For what it's worth, as long as people know, I don't have to feel guilty/awkward in the future!

So, now that we know why you haven't had a girlfriend, where is your boyfriend? We can now make fun of you for being single, but by using the correct gender

Dude, I've been open about this for like 2 days! Give me a chance here!

[deadly7]

Wait... is this why you represented yourself as a "Girl" in your x86 gender field?

iago IS THE CATCHER!

[iago]

Wait... is this why you represented yourself as a "Girl" in your x86 gender field?

Haha no, that goes back to an old story from vL. Somebody complained that the male:female ration was off, so me, Thing, and a couple others did our part to change the balance.

I was wondering if anybody would bring that up.

[iago]

In case anybody is wondering, I moved this topic from private board to public.

If anybody has any issues, let me know. I don't think anything in here is sensitive to anybody but me, though. Apologies if something is!

[truste1]

This thread is just what we needed to bring activity back to x86. People should turn gay more often.

lol.

Have you known completely since high school, or were you unsure? If you were unsure, is that what caused the delay in 'coming out?' I seem to recall you talking about a girl at the gas station one time, but I might be off. In any case, best of luck with your father and whomever else you've yet to tell.

[Joe]

Speaking of gas stations, do you have a copy of Ron Pumps Gas laying around? Best movie ever.

[iago]

Have you known completely since high school, or were you unsure? If you were unsure, is that what caused the delay in 'coming out?' I seem to recall you talking about a girl at the gas station one time, but I might be off. In any case, best of luck with your father and whomever else you've yet to tell.

Well, as is pretty ordinary I suspect, I knew during highschool but I sort of hoped it was something that wouldn't last, or that I'd "grow out of" back then. Doing things like forcing myself to think of girls (or look at straight porn). It never did it for me (I mean, I did enjoy *half* of straight porn, if you know what I mean). But, in reality, I've probably been internally comfortable and sure for at least 10 years.

Why did I delay 'coming out'? That's a very good question, and a hard one to answer. The primary reasons are a combination of:
1. I just didn't care that much
2. I'm a passive/introverted person at the best of times
3. I'm the kind of person who hates making others uncomfortable
4. I'm also a 'loner' -- even now, I don't really want a relationship
5. I don't want people to look at me differently, or change how they talk/what jokes they make/etc

So, why did I choose now? I've talked about this in a few places, and I forget what I've said here, so this may be a repeat.

I have a good friend from a few years back. We used to work together. When I moved off to Calgary, we kept in touch, and when I came back, we hung out a lot more. When I moved into my new place, a week later he moved to Calgary (the FUCKER! ). I helped him move and flew back. In the year that he was gone, I spent 3 weeks at his place and he spent probably 2 or 3 at mine. He moved back a few months ago (maybe February?) and got a place in the same building as me, so I see him almost daily now. We've become rather close.

Now, don't get me wrong -- he isn't gay, at all, and I'm not in the least bit attracted to him. But, having a close friend for support means a lot to me, and it was probably the main driving factor.

And for what it's worth, he basically already knew.


For the gas station thing, I have no clue what you're talking about. Sorry

Speaking of gas stations, do you have a copy of Ron Pumps Gas laying around? Best movie ever.

Maybe somewhere. *shrug*

[Sidoh]

Woah!  I guess I was caught a little bit off guard because I didn't think you were serious to begin with, but I guess I'm not too surprised.

I'm definitely not offended, and it was a fun night!  I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to DEF CON this year, but if I do, we'll definitely hang out.

[iago]

Woah!  I guess I was caught a little bit off guard because I didn't think you were serious to begin with, but I guess I'm not too surprised.

I'm definitely not offended, and it was a fun night!  I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to DEF CON this year, but if I do, we'll definitely hang out.

Haha. I initially posted it in such a way that I could deny it later, if it came to that. I was going to do it from an external ip address, too -- the first post in this thread I actually made from open wifi downtown (but I always ssh back home before I do anything).

I'm looking forward to Defcon again, for sure. I know quite a few people going, security- and non-security folks alike. It should be a blast!

[AntiVirus]

Still the same person to me.

It's strange -- you are the second friend of mine to recently come out of the closest.  It must be that time of the year.

[iago]

Still the same person to me.

It's strange -- you are the second friend of mine to recently come out of the closest.  It must be that time of the year.

June is, I found out recently, national Pride month. The Pride parade in my city is this Sunday. The timing was entirely coincidental, though, from my end.

That's awesome about your friend, though! What's his/her story?

Also, happy 1988th birthday (though I see the problem is fixed now, and it says 22 like it should )

[AntiVirus]

He told me he had known since he was in elementary school.  He and I have been friends since 8th grade and I always had a feeling, but I wasn't going to pressure him about it.  The first person he actually came out to was a girl he was on a date with.  That was probably super awkward for the both of them.  He just recently told his parents, but his mom and sister said they already suspected as such and his dad was fine with it.

Also, happy 1988th birthday (though I see the problem is fixed now, and it says 22 like it should )

Thanks!  Are you sure that was a lie?  Perhaps 22 is a lie?!

[iago]

He told me he had known since he was in elementary school.  He and I have been friends since 8th grade and I always had a feeling, but I wasn't going to pressure him about it.  The first person he actually came out to was a girl he was on a date with.  That was probably super awkward for the both of them.  He just recently told his parents, but his mom and sister said they already suspected as such and his dad was fine with it.

Haha, that's awesome. Great to hear, and congrats to him! I'd say I've known, in a very vague way, since I was maybe 12. But I didn't understand for a couple years, or really accept it for a couple more life. Such is life.

I think society is really messed up on the whole issue. People should be left to choose their preferences, not be told them and have to admit when they are different. But, what can you do?

Also, happy 1988th birthday (though I see the problem is fixed now, and it says 22 like it should )

Thanks!  Are you sure that was a lie?  Perhaps 22 is a lie?!

Haha

[rabbit]

I think society is really messed up on the whole issue. People should be left to choose their preferences, not be told them and have to admit when they are different. But, what can you do?

Kill the unbelievers.




......Oh, wait...

[truste1]

What are your thoughts on the hypothesis that homosexuality is a natural form of human population control?

[iago]

What are your thoughts on the hypothesis that homosexuality is a natural form of human population control?

Honestly, no idea. But that's hypothesis seems to require nature to have an intelligence of some form, which is a tough assumption for me.

For cause, I don't know. I can't even tell you for sure whether it's nature or nurture, though I suspect nature.

[Rule]

I'm happy that you've decided to be open about this.  It's nothing to feel bad about.  I'm also not surprised.

[while1]

Honestly, I've suspected it for awhile... from various pieces of information that I've picked up over time from your mannerisms, posts, opinions, habits, etc. just increasingly started to appear on my gaydar.  Never thought it important enough to even bring up though.  It's none of my business and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of, despite what society and religion has cropped it up to be.

What's ironic is that I think there are a whole lot more non-heterosexuals (sexuality is non-linear) than most people think, and probably a lot more of the greatest minds and figures in history were not straight, we just will never know about it.  Whether or not someone is gay or straight does not define them, it's a shame that today such a big deal is made out of it that it ends up doing so.  Alan Turing was a homosexual and to this day is a significant contributor to the field of CS and AI.

What are your thoughts on the hypothesis that homosexuality is a natural form of human population control?

Honestly, no idea. But that's hypothesis seems to require nature to have an intelligence of some form, which is a tough assumption for me.

For cause, I don't know. I can't even tell you for sure whether it's nature or nurture, though I suspect nature.

I would guess nature, but it doesn't have to be mutually exclusive.  It could be that nature lays the foundation (to a variable level of completeness), and nurture has the possibility to inhibit whether the foundation is further built upon or completed.  Who knows.

[iago]

What's ironic is that I think there are a whole lot more non-heterosexuals (sexuality is non-linear) than most people think, and probably a lot more of the greatest minds and figures in history were not straight, we just will never know about it.  Whether or not someone is gay or straight does not define them, it's a shame that today such a big deal is made out of it that it ends up doing so.  Alan Turing was a homosexual and to this day is a significant contributor to the field of CS and AI.

That brings up something I'm *really* curious about: what percentage of men (and women) are *actually* gay/bi?

Taking into account the number of people who are open, who haven't told anybody, and who are in denial, I suspect it's a lot higher than we ever know.



I also find it kind of funny the number of people that responded "I'm not surprised" -- I've gotten that in real life, too. I think part of it is hindsight being 20/20 and putting together the pieces afterwards is easier, but it's true that I have never tried to hide it and I have defended the lifestyle and commented on it more than a couple times here.

[iago]

So, for what it's worth, I told my dad and stepmom tonight, which basically makes everybody in my life who matters (family + friends).

Yay!

[Blaze]

How'd that go?

[iago]

Couldn't really tell, to be honest. I told him and my stepmom over the phone, and she basically took over the conversation afterwards, and I talked to her about it (with him present) for quite awhile. He said he was ok a couple times and all that, but it's hard to tell. I guess I'll find out next time I talk to him alone.

He's the most homophobic person I know, I think, although that isn't saying much. I wouldn't say he's that bad at all, really.

Meh, he'll get used to the idea.

[Sidoh]

methinks iago should move to san francisco.  who's with me?

[iago]

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

[Joe]

The average US farmer owns three shotguns. The military has nothing on them.

[Blaze]

The average US farmer owns three shotguns. The military has nothing on them.

That's funny. 

[rabbit]

The average US farmer owns three shotguns. The military has nothing on them.

The average US military owns a nuclear arsenal, a couple fleets of warships, a few hundred million tons of ground weaponry, a few hundred million tons of air weaponry, and a few million troops.  The farmers have nothing on them.

[Sidoh]

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

Of course it is.  It's full of hipsters.

Of course it does.  You're a Canadian hippie.

[iago]

The average US farmer owns three shotguns. The military has nothing on them.

The average US military owns a nuclear arsenal, a couple fleets of warships, a few hundred million tons of ground weaponry, a few hundred million tons of air weaponry, and a few million troops.  The farmers have nothing on them.

Exactly. If anybody thinks they can fight the government, they're nuts.

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

Of course it is.  It's full of hipsters.

Of course it does.  You're a Canadian hippie.

I can't disagree.

[Blaze]

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

Of course it is.  It's full of hipsters.

Of course it does.  You're a Canadian hippie.

Are you calling iago hip?  I think that's what you're trying to do. 

[Sidoh]

The average US farmer owns three shotguns. The military has nothing on them.

The average US military owns a nuclear arsenal, a couple fleets of warships, a few hundred million tons of ground weaponry, a few hundred million tons of air weaponry, and a few million troops.  The farmers have nothing on them.

Exactly. If anybody thinks they can fight the government, they're nuts.

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

Of course it is.  It's full of hipsters.

Of course it does.  You're a Canadian hippie.

I can't disagree.

I should introduce you to my sister.  You two would totally hit it off.

She told me the other day that the south was full of people who were prejudice.  I couldn't manage to get her to see the irony in what she was saying.

San Francisco is awesome for vegan food. I'm in!

But seriously, I wouldn't want to live in the US (permanently).. the government scares the crap outta me.

Of course it is.  It's full of hipsters.

Of course it does.  You're a Canadian hippie.

Are you calling iago hip?  I think that's what you're trying to do. 

[iago]

I should introduce you to my sister.  You two would totally hit it off.

Is she male + gay?

She told me the other day that the south was full of people who were prejudice.  I couldn't manage to get her to see the irony in what she was saying.

Haha. I love making generalizations about people who make generalizations

[deadly7]

I should introduce you to my sister.  You two would totally hit it off.

She told me the other day that the south was full of people who were prejudice.  I couldn't manage to get her to see the irony in what she was saying.

I think I talked to your sister and she was completely baffled.

Either that or it was Mikey's sister..
Jennifer? Jessica? somethin?

[Joe]

I don't think any number of fleets of warships would defeat the farmers of Wisconsin. But alas, it was a joke.

[dark_drake]

I should introduce you to my sister.  You two would totally hit it off.

She told me the other day that the south was full of people who were prejudice.  I couldn't manage to get her to see the irony in what she was saying.

I think I talked to your sister and she was completely baffled.

Either that or it was Mikey's sister..
Jennifer? Jessica? somethin?

The two names you listed don't really help in solving the mystery.

[deadly7]

The two names you listed don't really help in solving the mystery.

Let me guess, you each have a sibling with one of those names, exclusively?

[dark_drake]

The two names you listed don't really help in solving the mystery.

Let me guess, you each have a sibling with one of those names, exclusively?

Yep!

[Sidoh]

hahahaha....

[Armin]

I feel like Jesus just winked at me.

[GameSnake]

I always knew it.

[Camel]

I'm gay.

I knew it!

[rabbit]

I'm gay.

I knew it!

[iago]

I'm gay.

I knew it!

Poor camel, I bet THAT one hurts!

[rabbit]

I'm gay.

I knew ...oh right.

[iago]

I'm gay.

I knew ...oh right.

You need to stop calling gay people gay!

[Blaze]

'THIS IS WHAT BOTHERS ME, SO STOP DOING IT'!

Let's see how well that works out. 

[iago]

I'm gay.

Err... close enough?

[Blaze]

I'm a gay racist scientologist child molester!  Also rapist and bestiality lover.

That's pretty much all of our societies hates.

[iago]

I'm a gay racist scientologist child molester!  Also rapist and bestiality lover.

That's pretty much all of our societies hates.

You forgot politician, lawyer, and CEO of certain financial companies.

[deadly7]

I'm a gay racist scientologist child molester!  Also rapist and bestiality lover.

That's pretty much all of our societies hates.

You forgot politician, lawyer, and CEO of certain financial companies.

And jews. Don't forget the jews.

[Blaze]

I'm a gay racist scientologist child molester!  Also rapist and bestiality lover.

That's pretty much all of our societies hates.

You forgot politician, lawyer, and CEO of certain financial companies.

Fine, you can be all of those, too; I'm not going to complain

[Furious]

I'm a little behind here ( I don't come here all that often anymore ) and I didn't/don't know you all that well.  But, glad you got it out.  I bet that's quite a bit of weight lifted.  Hopefully everything with your dad goes well 

And, homophobes are funny as hell.  I've had gay/bi friends - grabbing someones ass or vice versa is good for laughs ( depending on the situation, obviously ).  Now, on the flip side.  He knows if he tried to pull something on me I'd have to drop him <3

[iago]

Late, but I still appreciate the comment.

It went good with everybody, I don't think there's anyone who doesn't know now (at least, everybody who matters knows). I've also found the limits on how much I can joke about it with different groups of friends. With most of my friends, I can say just basically everything, there's very little limits, but with others it gets a little awkward.

I don't know if I've said it in this thread or not, but it actually does feel better, even though I didn't think it would. I definitely gained a lot of self confidence and suddenly care more about how I present myself. It was totally on a subconscious level, but I have definitely done my best to ensure that people of any gender didn't find me attractive (not in any major way.. it's hard to explain). But I don't feel that way anymore, so woohoo!

[Sidoh]

soo....

basically, telling everyone you're gay makes you gayer?

[rabbit]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

[iago]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

Exactly. Makes me less worried about putting myself in an awkward situation, mostly.

I don't (and will never) look or act like a stereotype, don't worry about that.

[Sidoh]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

Exactly. Makes me less worried about putting myself in an awkward situation, mostly.

I don't (and will never) look or act like a stereotype, don't worry about that.

Stereotypical hippie.

[iago]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

Exactly. Makes me less worried about putting myself in an awkward situation, mostly.

I don't (and will never) look or act like a stereotype, don't worry about that.

Stereotypical hippie.

No way, I shower!

[Lead]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

Exactly. Makes me less worried about putting myself in an awkward situation, mostly.

I don't (and will never) look or act like a stereotype, don't worry about that.

Stereotypical hippie.

No way, I shower!

Showers are overrated

[iago]

My friend: Now that you're 'out', I'm surprised you aren't insisting on turning our Sunday-morning breakfasts into 'brunch'

Me: Dude, we've been having brunch all along, you just haven't realized it yet

[Towelie]

So why don't you have a boyfriend yet?! Or are you one of those free birds? ;P

[iago]

I don't know anybody else who's gay, and I'm not the kind of person to walk down the street asking every good looking guy if he's into men.

To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it.

Also, I like being single. Being in a relationship seems like an awful lot of work.

[Lead]

I don't know anybody else who's gay, and I'm not the kind of person to walk down the street asking every good looking guy if he's into men.

To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it.

Also, I like being single. Being in a relationship seems like an awful lot of work.

They have websites and bars for this, iago.

But congrats man, it takes a lot of guts to come out public. I wish you the best of luck!

[while1]

No.  It makes you...less stressed.

Exactly. Makes me less worried about putting myself in an awkward situation, mostly.

I don't (and will never) look or act like a stereotype, don't worry about that.

Stereotypical hippie.

No way, I shower!

Real gay men take nice long bubble bathes!!!

[rabbit]

I don't know anybody else who's gay, and I'm not the kind of person to walk down the street asking every good looking guy if he's into men.

To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it.

Also, I like being single. Being in a relationship seems like an awful lot of work.

They have websites and bars for this, iago.

But congrats man, it takes a lot of guts to come out public. I wish you the best of luck!

OKCupid is free

[Towelie]

I don't know anybody else who's gay, and I'm not the kind of person to walk down the street asking every good looking guy if he's into men.

To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it.

Also, I like being single. Being in a relationship seems like an awful lot of work.

Yeah, I can see how thats a problem. Do they have a gay community where you live? Or just anywhere you can go to hang out with gay people? I'm sure theres some place near you where you can find some singles that would be interested in you

[Joe]

We have a gay community at my school: We call it the cafeteria. Really, there's tons of people there who are openly gay. At least, I've overheard conversations about it. I try to spend as little time there as possible since it's overpopulated with diesel technicians and liberal arts people, the latter of which "need the whole table" because they can't put their art on the floor.

[iago]

I don't know anybody else who's gay, and I'm not the kind of person to walk down the street asking every good looking guy if he's into men.

To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it.

Also, I like being single. Being in a relationship seems like an awful lot of work.

Yeah, I can see how thats a problem. Do they have a gay community where you live? Or just anywhere you can go to hang out with gay people? I'm sure theres some place near you where you can find some singles that would be interested in you

I don't know. They do an annual Pride thing, which is well attended, so I'm sure there is in some way. There are also a couple bars, but I don't like the "club" style. Really, none of that's my scene.

For some reason, I'm reminded of a talk I recently heard where a guy said, "why would I pay $30 for a room at the local bathhouse when the same amount can get me a monthly membership at the gym and unlimited access to the sauna?"

[Towelie]

Bar != club. lol. Maybe a gay bar, but most bars I've been to have just been a place to get a drink and shoot the shit with your friends.

[iago]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

[Lead]

I think Newby is the subject matter expert on those kind of bars

[Towelie]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

I think you are still partway in the closet if you haven't checked those out yet...

[iago]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

I think you are still partway in the closet if you haven't checked those out yet...

No wai!

There are, it seems, a lot of gay people who aren't into "the scene".

[rabbit]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

You're gonna believe what you see on TV?  That doesn't sound like the iago we know.

[Lead]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

You're gonna believe what you see on TV?  That doesn't sound like the iago we know.

Yeah iago. Why don't you scrape some more data from Facebook about this subject

[iago]

Honestly, I don't know what the gay bars here are like. But if they're anything like the ones I've seen on tv....

You're gonna believe what you see on TV?  That doesn't sound like the iago we know.

Yup, that was the joke.

[wires]

WHAT

[iago]

WHAT

You're alive!?

[deadly7]

You're alive!?

He is quite literally always on AIM whenever I am. I therefore deduce that he is alive.

[iago]

You're alive!?

He is quite literally always on AIM whenever I am. I therefore deduce that he is alive.

Yeah, I noticed that too. I always just assume that he died and left it on or something...

[wires]

WHAT

You're alive!?

Yeah, I wonder the same thing sometimes.

You're alive!?

He is quite literally always on AIM whenever I am. I therefore deduce that he is alive.

Dang, maybe I shouldn't log on as much. Maybe if I did this, people would start to miss me more. :[

iago, you're still as metal as ever.