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Author Topic: Metal fairytale!  (Read 5685 times)

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Offline Newby

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Metal fairytale!
« on: June 12, 2005, 01:14:42 pm »
Scenario:
The princess is stuck in a big castle guarded by a dragon!

POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave....without the princess.

VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ”HEAVY METAL” protagonist.

GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

LOVE METAL:
The tiny, beautiful protagonist arrives and is raped by the princess right away. The dragon feels sympathy, eats the princess and rapes the protagonist ..then eats him then bunch of screaming other princesses arrive and kill the dragon in their pain of losing the protagonist...

METALCORE:
The protagonist swings his feet and arms about wildly, accidently knocking the dragon out. Then he storms off in an anger that someone messed up his dance routine.
Logged
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

Quote from: Rule on June 30, 2008, 01:13:20 pm
Quote from: CrAz3D on June 30, 2008, 10:38:22 am
I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Sidoh

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2005, 01:38:28 pm »
Haha, that's pretty good. Death/Black Metal kind of scared me, though. :(

Quote
NU METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

Dude, Disturbed pwns juu.
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Offline Krazed

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2005, 04:17:12 pm »
Quote from: Newby on June 12, 2005, 01:14:42 pm
Scenario:
DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.


Emo

The protagonist arrives, sees the girl, forgets about the dragon. He decides his life sucks because the girl doesn't love him, slits his wrists, and commits suicide while listening to "The Used - I'm a fake."
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It is good to be good, but it is better to be lucky.

Offline Newby

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2005, 04:22:23 pm »
Owned.
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- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

Quote from: Rule on June 30, 2008, 01:13:20 pm
Quote from: CrAz3D on June 30, 2008, 10:38:22 am
I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Mythix

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2005, 06:46:59 pm »
wow.
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Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce

Offline Blaze

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2005, 08:30:49 pm »
Very amusing++.
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And like a fool I believed myself, and thought I was somebody else...

Offline deadly7

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2005, 03:58:05 pm »
Quote
THRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her.
That's a bit of a double negative.
"Saves princes and fucks her."[

haha.
Logged
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Offline Ergot

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2005, 09:29:27 pm »
You mean "ironic" or "oxymoronic" instead of double negative? And I noticed that says princes and not princess... does that mean thrash metal people are gay o_O ?!?
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Quote from: Newby on February 26, 2006, 12:16:58 am
Who gives a damn? I fuck sheep all the time.
Quote from: rabbit on December 11, 2005, 01:05:35 pm
And yes, male both ends.  There are a couple lesbians that need a two-ended dildo...My router just refuses to wear a strap-on.
(05:55:03) JoE ThE oDD: omfg good job i got a boner thinkin bout them chinese bitches
(17:54:15) Sidoh: I love cosmetology

Offline deadly7

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2005, 10:40:17 pm »
Apparently so. =-o
Logged
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Offline Quik

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2005, 11:45:51 pm »
Quote from: Newby on June 12, 2005, 01:14:42 pm
METALCORE:
The protagonist swings his feet and arms about wildly, accidently knocking the dragon out. Then he storms off in an anger that someone messed up his dance routine.

Inspired by the "hardcore" kids who listen to that screaming crap like Maida.
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[20:21:13] xar: i was just thinking about the time iago came over here and we made this huge bomb and light up the sky for 6 min
[20:21:15] xar: that was funny

Offline Joe

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2005, 02:44:55 am »
screamers suck. rap gogo.
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Quote from: Camel on June 09, 2009, 04:12:23 pm
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

Quote from: AntiVirus on October 19, 2010, 02:36:52 pm
You might be right about that, Joe.

Offline Sidoh

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2005, 03:09:11 am »
Quote from: Joe[x86] on June 14, 2005, 02:44:55 am
screamers suck. rap gogo.

I'd rather listen to the screamers.
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Offline Joe

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Re: Metal fairytale!
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2005, 03:54:54 am »
Oh, need we start another rap battle?
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Quote from: Camel on June 09, 2009, 04:12:23 pm
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

Quote from: AntiVirus on October 19, 2010, 02:36:52 pm
You might be right about that, Joe.

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