I guess I'm confused; what is the difference, in your mind, between 'showing respect' and 'being polite'?
I figure respect is all (in the context of a soldier) "thanks for your service and for protecting america!" I see polite as being something I'd do for anyone, regardless of their status. I guess, however, I can see politeness as "moderate" respect, because I sure wouldn't hold the door open for someone that I know is scum. I see polite as neutral/the middle ground.
When my opinion of "friends" has dropped in the past, I've let them know how I feel. For example, a "friend" (acquaintance) was throwing empty beer cans at me at a party. I ignored it so I wouldnt start nothing. Eventually I let him have it. I brought up the fact that he's been in undergrad for 8 years (10 years now...no end in sight from what I hear), for a useless degree, has no job, lives with his parents while taking grandma's money, mooches off all his "friends" without discretion or thanks, etc. I didnt say anything untrue, but the truth can hurt the most. He eventually got the hint and stopped showing up (he used to show up uninvited).
I sort of think similar might happen to my army "friend." I am friends with his wife, but he is a tool. He brags about being uneducated, brags about abusing people in Iraq, has been fired numerous times from shitty jobs (and one half-decent job) and even somewhat brags about that. Talks down to everyone else about "life" because "he served" and was a "roughneck." Fuck that. What's scary is that he has a kid on the way. Thank God it's a girl (she is gonna end up a slut unless her mom is the only one that cares for her), otherwise a boy would just turn into a dick (if my "friend" had any say).
The military example you gave is an interesting one. I've known a lot of military folks because I volunteer with the American Legion. Generally speaking, I'm predisposed to giving military or ex-military members more respect by default. But I'm not sure that I 'show' that more readily than not; simply that I regard them more highly, trust that they will be honest more readily, etc.
I am the opposite. I distrust people that have served, unless I know them. They have no reason to tell me the truth, and have everything to gain (e.g., "respect") by making their service look special, when in reality they were just dicks and portrayed us/the US in a poor light. I've noticed a distinction between enlisted and officers, though, because enlisted people TEND (over generalization) to be the bottom of the barrel folks. The military recruits inner city drop outs for a reason: they are doing nothing with their life, and are "less valuable" than other citizens, and can, therefore, be more-easily bought.
I happen to disagree with iago, too, with regard to the comment 'because they have a title.' I very much disagree with almost all of Pres. Obama's policies, and I think that he is leading the country down a destructive path; but I still respect the fact that he is the President. A lot of people I know do not, and it annoys me.
'Showing respect,' though, is a tough one. I try hard to be polite in general (at least IRL - online notwithstanding), whether someone has my respect or not. Being civil to other people should happen - even if a person is a bad person, that person is still a person, and has some basic measure of value just based on that fact.
Would you walk up to Obama and thank him for all he has done for the country (I doubt you would by your post), or would you simply acknowledge him in a polite manner (e.g., shake his hand and all the photo-op stuff if you were to meet him).
re titles/education/etc, all a title/education shows is that someone can jump through hoops. I saw a harvard lawyer during a trial this summer. She was at an uber-prestigious firm in Dallas. She sucked. Hard. Education or title does not guarantee knowledge or ability.