I don't really separate those two situations mentally. Maybe that's part of my upbringing?
Wedding and marriage? Why? Marriage is possible without a wedding, unless you define wedding to include going to the courthouse and getting some paperwork signed...
Because it's an all or nothing (all-in?) situation. I can decide from year to year if I want to/can afford to celebrate my birthday. Years when I can afford it, I have it; if I can't, I do something else. With a wedding, whether or not you can afford it, people still feel the need to have one and generate debt.
Weddings are not necessarily that expensive. Some people are bad with money, and will have an expensive wedding even though they can't afford it, but I blame that on them being idiots, not weddings.
Like I said, I associate the two, and I think a lot of people do, too.
It's fair to associate them, but not to equivocate them. It's even more unfair to take a specific type of wedding, assume that all weddings are like that, and then equivocate marriage with that. that's just silly :p
I mean, if it was entirely secular, why isn't gay marriage allowed in most places?
I think that will change within the next few decades. However, the fact that the state doesn't respect gay marriage doesn't mean that I don't. If two gay guys went to canada and got married, i don't care what california says, i still say they're married.
Well, I was predicting an argument with that line.
and?... that's not much of a response