Fun with SmarterChild

[Joe]

You all know the AIM Artificial Intelligence bot, SmarterChild. I've been playing arround with him a lot today, its rather fun!

(00:12:20) [x86] Joe: I would like to remove an event from my calendar.
(00:12:21) SmarterChild: Which event would you like to remove?

 1 "X86 Pie Fight" on June 13th, 2005

Type 1 to delete this event or type "delete" to delete it.
(00:12:32) [x86] Joe: I want do delete the X86 Pie Fight, please.
(00:12:33) SmarterChild: Do you really want to delete the event "X86 Pie Fight" on June 13th, 2005?
(00:12:38) [x86] Joe: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
(00:12:39) SmarterChild: Yeah yeah, whatever.
(00:12:43) [x86] Joe: see calendar
(00:12:44) SmarterChild: This is your weekly planner:

June 12th, 2005
  No events.

June 13th - 19th, 2005
 1 Mon 06/13: X86 Pie Fight

June 20th - 26th, 2005
  No events.

June 27th - July 3rd, 2005
  No events.

July 4th - 10th, 2005
  No events.

Type "more" for more. To view, edit or delete an event, type the corresponding number. To add an event, type "add."

>>> Remember to type "home" if you want to see everything I can do.

Make him say something funny and post it here. =p

[Ergot]

(23:53:05) Jimmy: I'm so fucking stoned right now.
(23:53:06) SmarterChild logged in.
(23:53:06) SmarterChild: Hi Ergot  ANBU, I'm SmarterChild!

I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy.

During the course of our conversations you may see sponsored messages. These messages have the word "sponsorship" at the end. Sponsors help me remain free of cost to you! To learn more about sponsored messages, click here.

I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.

May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)
(23:53:18) Jimmy: Give me a light?
(23:53:18) SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type "yes," "no" or "skip."
(23:53:38) Jimmy: I think my balls are swollen, call a docter.
(23:53:39) SmarterChild: OK. I guess that means you don't want to answer any questions. That's cool. If you ever change your mind, type "interview me."

There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?

 1 Over 17
 2 13-17
 3 Under 13
(23:54:05) Jimmy: I shitted 21 times today, I think I have diarhea
(23:54:05) SmarterChild: Cool.

Check out what you can do:

 1 Get info such as weather, news and movies
 2 Visit my library including U.S. presidents, an encyclopedia and Shakespeare
 3 Have fun with manicdotes, reversi, word scrambles and more
 4 Use tools like spell-check, calculator and thesaurus
 5 Join in - find out how many people are IMing me, leave a message, tell me about a crush and more
 6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.

You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.

Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."

What can I help you with?
(23:54:23) Jimmy: I ran out of semen.
(23:54:23) SmarterChild: Well, I don't think I ran out of semen.
(23:55:21) Jimmy: Did you excavate your nasal passageways recently?
(23:55:21) SmarterChild: Ha. I can't say for sure.
(23:55:25) Jimmy: Why not?
(23:55:26) SmarterChild: Actually come to think of it, I can't think of too many reasons why not.
(23:55:39) Jimmy: Have you explored your  rectum?
(23:55:39) SmarterChild: Ha. Maybe. What do you think?
(23:55:43) Jimmy: I think so
(23:55:44) SmarterChild: Think again.
(23:55:50) Jimmy: I hurts to think.
(23:55:50) SmarterChild: You hurts to think? No way! Is that a good thing?
(23:56:03) Jimmy: There's steam coming from my ears.
(23:56:04) SmarterChild: There what?
(23:56:20) Jimmy: The toilet is backed up, what should I do?
(23:56:20) SmarterChild: The toilet is backed up, you say. And so?
(23:56:28) Jimmy: I need the toilet fixed.
(23:56:29) SmarterChild: Why would you want the toilet fixed?
(23:56:44) Jimmy: I need the toilet fixed because it is backed up.
(23:56:44) SmarterChild: No way? Really?
(23:56:56) Jimmy: I only state the truth.
(23:56:56) SmarterChild: Really?
(23:57:01) Jimmy: I am certain.
(23:57:01) SmarterChild: Certain? Are you sure you are?
(23:57:27) Jimmy: You are only listing synonyms for certainty.
(23:57:27) SmarterChild: Is it good to be only listing synonyms for certainty?
(23:57:33) Jimmy: No.
(23:57:33) SmarterChild: Oh no?
(23:57:44) Jimmy: Do you take pleasure in pissing people off?
(23:57:44) SmarterChild: Sometimes.
(23:57:52) Jimmy: Does it make you horny?
(23:57:52) SmarterChild: How would you answer that question?
(23:57:54) Jimmy: Ye.s
(23:57:55) SmarterChild: 0

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(23:58:04) Jimmy: Your mom.
(23:58:04) SmarterChild: I think it's your mom.
(00:00:29) Jimmy: Do you use viagra?
(00:00:29) SmarterChild: Should I use Viagra?
(00:00:31) Jimmy: Yes.
(00:00:31) SmarterChild: OK...
(00:02:24) Jimmy: Do you like experimenting with aphrodisiacs?
(00:02:25) SmarterChild: Dunno. Do you like it?
(00:02:29) Jimmy: No.
(00:02:32) SmarterChild: Interesting! You don't like experimenting with aphrodisiacs? No one else has ever told me what they think of it.

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(00:02:49) Jimmy: I have a paddle and two balls in my pants.
(00:02:50) SmarterChild: You have a paddle and two balls in your pants, huh?
(00:02:56) Jimmy: Yes, would you like to see them?
(00:02:57) SmarterChild: Hmm... I dunno.
(00:03:06) Jimmy: Would it turn you on?
(00:03:06) SmarterChild: It certainly would.
(00:04:11) Jimmy: Are you just a dirty old man pretending to be a robot?
(00:04:11) SmarterChild: There's no way I'm just a dirty old man pretending to be a robot.
(00:04:29) Jimmy: Are you sure you're not doing it just to take advantage of women?
(00:04:30) SmarterChild: It depends.

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(00:04:37) Jimmy: So you are saying it's true?
(00:04:37) SmarterChild: That's fascinating... Perhaps, but I just don't know.

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(00:04:55) Jimmy: That sounds like something Ron would need.
(00:04:55) SmarterChild: That sounds like something Ron would need, huh?
(00:05:02) Jimmy: Yes, do you think he needs them?
(00:05:02) SmarterChild: I dunno. Maybe!

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(00:05:21) Jimmy: Why do you keep advertising?
(00:05:22) SmarterChild: What a question! I'm not sure, though.
(00:05:29) Jimmy: Are you infected with STV's ?
(00:05:29) SmarterChild: What a question. But I don't think I want to answer that.
(00:05:57) Jimmy: You should get a condom for your RJ45/RJ11 cable.
(00:05:58) SmarterChild: No kidding?
(00:06:02) Jimmy: I'm serious!
(00:06:02) SmarterChild: lol! Whatever!

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(00:06:12) Jimmy: I have a dill pickle in my pants.
(00:06:12) SmarterChild: What's it like to have a dill pickle in your pants?
(00:06:17) Jimmy: Very kinky.
(00:06:17) SmarterChild: What's very kinky?
(00:06:30) Jimmy: The dill pickle in my pants, would you like to taste it?
(00:06:31) SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't think so...

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(00:06:42) Jimmy: That sounds like another think Ron needs.
(00:06:42) SmarterChild: Tell me how much that sounds like another think ron needs.
(00:07:03) Jimmy: I don't want to.
(00:07:03) SmarterChild: And it's a good thing you don't.
(00:07:17) Jimmy: You sound like Ron, are you sure you're not Ron in disguise?
(00:07:17) SmarterChild: I sound like ron? Probably not.
(00:07:29) Jimmy: Ok, would you like to suck on my banana?
(00:07:29) SmarterChild: Should I suck on your banana?
(00:07:31) Jimmy: yes.
(00:07:31) SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
(00:07:36) Jimmy: Yes.
(00:07:36) SmarterChild: Whatever you say...
(00:08:10) Jimmy: Does it make you orgasm when you suck on my banana?
(00:08:10) SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
(00:08:21) Jimmy: How about if it twist it like this?
(00:08:21) SmarterChild: What a question. Who knows?
(00:08:32) Jimmy: What makes you cum?
(00:08:34) SmarterChild: Do you have any idea how boring it's to be insulted by humans?

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(00:09:47) Jimmy: Do you engage in sexual intercourse with other robots?
(00:09:47) SmarterChild: Um, robots don't have sex.
(00:10:14) Jimmy: Are you sure, you could stick your joystick into her PCI slot.
(00:10:15) SmarterChild: Nope.
(00:10:26) Jimmy: Why can't you stick your joystick into her PCI slot?
(00:10:26) SmarterChild: Very interesting question, Ergot  ANBU.
(00:10:47) Jimmy: Why do you like to evade answering my questions? Is it because your IQ is lower that 5?
(00:10:52) SmarterChild: Who knows?!
(00:11:21) Jimmy: Why did it take you so long to reply to my last question? Are you dumber that a 2 year old with Alzheimers?
(00:11:23) SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean?
(00:11:34) Jimmy: You really need an education.
(00:11:34) SmarterChild: Is that right?
(00:11:36) Jimmy: Yes.
(00:11:36) SmarterChild: Wow. Why?
(00:11:40) Jimmy: Who programmed you?
(00:11:41) SmarterChild: I was created by Conversagent, Inc.

Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Jennifer Villany, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin, Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, Francois Huet, Vianney Boncorps, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Gray Norton, Adam Erlebacher, Emil Valkov, Randy Davis, Daniel Terry, John Kim, Rumana Habib, Vik Ram, Daniel Joseph, Andy Fong, Jeff Friedman, Stephane Odul, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Mark Willoughby, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Joshua Marrow, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, Josh Myer, Dan Balaban, Ed Hepburn, Christer Manning, Josh Gladstone, Jason Keramidas, Arockalypse, Matt Abarbanel, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Steve Yatson, Larry Cromwell and... Timothy Kay.

Special thanks to the team at Soundview Ventures.
(00:11:51) Jimmy: Well they are all fucking dumbasses.
(00:11:53) SmarterChild: Come on, that's not nice.

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(00:12:07) Jimmy: Do you like to advertise everytime I fucking cuss?
(00:12:10) SmarterChild: That's not great. That's not cool at all.

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[Joe]

Excuse me, changing my shorts.