Author Topic: Best. Joke. Ever.  (Read 5583 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CrAz3D

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10184
    • View Profile
Best. Joke. Ever.
« on: June 25, 2005, 01:56:02 pm »
Someone sent me this great joke. Slightly censored.

The New Student

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history.
"Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who
had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said,
"Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows
more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese
Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck
this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and
shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica
Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You
little chit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice,
"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh chit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

Offline Newby

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10877
  • Thrash!
    • View Profile
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2005, 02:15:29 pm »
Lmao.
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline rabbit

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8092
  • I speak for the entire clan (except Joe)
    • View Profile
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2005, 03:15:42 pm »
Spooned like a fork.

Offline Sidoh

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17634
  • MHNATY ~~~~~
    • View Profile
    • sidoh
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2005, 04:06:56 pm »
Hahaha, that's great!

01Linux

  • Guest
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2005, 05:37:24 pm »
rofl

Offline CrAz3D

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10184
    • View Profile
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2005, 12:46:47 pm »
Spooned like a fork.
ha, what the hell does that mean?

Offline Joe

  • B&
  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10319
  • In Soviet Russia, text read you!
    • View Profile
    • Github
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2005, 02:27:53 pm »
OMG!!@@@@@@@@
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline Darkness

  • x86
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 234
    • View Profile
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2005, 05:07:41 pm »
So many variations of this joke that its not funny anymore  :-\
(01:22:35) Newby: I am listening to 9989. Torsofuck - Fistfucking Her Decomposed Cadaver (0:07 / 2:37 320kbps)
(01:22:39) Newby: I am listening to 9990. Torsofuck - Worm Infested Anal (0:01 / 3:02 320kbps)
(01:22:43) Newby: I am listening to 9991. Torsofuck - Raped By Elephants (0:02 / 4:14 320kbps)

Offline Sidoh

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17634
  • MHNATY ~~~~~
    • View Profile
    • sidoh
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2005, 06:04:08 pm »
So many variations of this joke that its not funny anymore  :-\

I've never heard anything like it. :-\

Offline Warrior

  • supreme mac daddy of trolls
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7503
  • One for a Dime two for a Quarter!
    • View Profile
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2005, 08:31:31 pm »
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
One must ask oneself: "do I will trolling to become a universal law?" And then when one realizes "yes, I do will it to be such," one feels completely justified.
-- from Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Trolling

Offline ZeroX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1933
  • Pirating Your software since 1998
    • View Profile
    • Crap
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2005, 04:29:13 am »
There is another type of joke like this but its not as funny and it takes palce durning sunday school.

One day a Girl was sleeping in sunday school when, the teacher looks over to her and says, "Wh is our lord and  savior Ashely?" Not knowing what was going on Billy that sits behind poke her right in here butt with a pen. Ashely LEAPS! up and says "JESUS CHRIST" and the teach says very good Ashely.

So the next day she goes back to sleeep and the teach notices it agian and says, "Ashely what do you say before the lord?" Billy being a pest agian Pokes her in the butt with another pencil, LEAPING UP! agian she says " OH MY GOD!!" the teacher says very good Ashely.

The next day at school ashely falls back to sleep, The teacher notices her agian and says, "Ashely What did Eve say to adam after there 10th child?" Billy pokes in the butt agian and she says "Stick that in me one more time and i will break it!"

Somehing like that.
Zeroforce
Zeroforce
Zeroforce





Quote
mutsumibear: David's coming over Sunday so we can have mad sex all day.
zxdropoff: lucky you
mutsumibear: :D I know.
mutsumibear: I just pray I don't start my period before then.
zxdropoff: omfg
zxdropoff: stfu
zxdropoff: now please
mutsumibear: HAHA
mutsumibear: I love disturbing you.

Offline Joe

  • B&
  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10319
  • In Soviet Russia, text read you!
    • View Profile
    • Github
Re: Best. Joke. Ever.
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2005, 09:07:49 am »
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
OOOOOOOOOO
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.