Favorite Quotes PERIOD!

[Tuberload]

I like to read and save quotes from all sorts of places. Whether it is from a drug dealer on the street corner to a world leader. You could have heard it in a comedy or a documentary. It could have come from a gathering of people located in reality or virtual. It can be funny or boring as hell. I do not care just do not post something that wastes my time.

[Tuberload]

The first thing ever said about me that is completely true and still made me laugh around these parts, I love it.

Heh, don't worry too much about what Tuberload has to say GameSnake.  He and I are on generally good terms, but one of the things I like about him most is that when he thinks I'm wrong, he just says so, and says why he thinks I am so.  Sometimes that comes with flaming...  but frequently, that flaming is justified.

To simplify more I am a blunt asshole, so take me as you will. 

[iago]

This is among my favorites.  From Terry Pratchett's novel, "The Last Continent", talking about a wormhole they found:

        Ridcully lowered his tape measure.

        'Let's try that again, shall we?' he said. He stepped out of the window and picked a seashell out of the sand. It was warm
        from the sun. Then he pulled himself back into the bathroom and walked around to a door beside the window.

        It led to a dank, moss-grown light well, which allowed second-hand and grubby daylight into these dismal floors. Even the
        snow hadn't managed to get more than a brushing of flakes down this far.

        The window on this side glimmered in the light from the doorway like a pool of very black oil.

        'Okay, Dean,' he said. Tush your staff through. Now waggle it about.'

        The wizards looked at the gently rippling surface. There should have been several feet of solid wood sticking out of it.

        'Well, well, well,' said the Archchancellor, going back in out of the cold air. 'Do you know, I've never actually seen one of
        these?'

        'Anyone remember Archchancellor Bewdley's boots?' said the Senior Wrangler, helping himself to some cold mutton from the
        trolley. 'He made a mistake and got one of the things opened up in the left boot. Very tricky. You can't go walking around
        with one foot in another dimension.'

        'Well, no . . .' said Ridcully, staring at the tropical scene and tapping his chin thoughtfully with the seashell.

        'Can't see what you're treading in, for one thing,' said the Senior Wrangler.

        'One opened up in one of the cellars once, all by itself,' said the Dean. 'Just a round black hole. Anything you put in it
        just disappeared. So old Archchancellor Weatherwax had a privy built over it.'

        'Very sensible idea,' said Ridcully, still looking thoughtful.

        'We thought so too, until we found the other one that had opened in the attic. Turned out to be the other side of the same
        hole. I'm sure I don't need to draw you a picture.'

        'I've never heard of these!' said Ponder Stibbons. The possibilities are amazing!'

        'Everyone says that when they first hear about them,' said the Senior Wrangler. 'But when you've been a wizard as long as I
        have, my boy, you'll learn that as soon as you find anything that offers amazing possibilities for the improvement of the
        human condition it's best to put the lid back on and pretend it never happened.'

        'But if you could get one to open above another you could drop something through the bottom hole and it'd come out of the top
        hole and fall through the bottom hole again . . . It'd reach meteoritic speed and the amount of power you could generate
        would be—'

        That's pretty much what happened between the attic and the cellar,' said the Dean, taking a cold chicken leg. 'Thank goodness
        for air friction, that's all I'll say.'

[Joe]

Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!

and who can forget..

Theres plenty here for the both of us, may the best dwarf win!

EDIT -
And of course, who can forget..
A eruchin u-dano i faelas a hyn an uben tanatha le faelas! -Aragorn at Helm's Deep

[ZeroX]

Dont hate,... Just MASTERBATE!!!!

[trust]

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

[Sidoh]

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

Haha, that's one of my favorites too.

What do I really want in a women?  Me.

[trust]

I forgot about this one in my last post, but this is probably one of my favorites too:

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON\"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

[Quik]

While we're on the subject of Bash.org, here's one of my personal favorites.

<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt
<r`heaven>

[zorm]

"Well sir, I'd tell you, if I got my news from the newspapers I'd be pretty depressed as well." - CAPTAIN SHERMAN POWELL

"Now, gentlemen, let us do something today which the world make talk of hereafter." - Admiral Lord Collingwood

[MyndFyre]

An angry parent group was protesting the presence of hookers in their neighborhood.  They picketed with signs that said, "Keep our street prostitution free!"

[Screenor]

(14:17:12) Scr33n0r: DKay
(14:17:15) Scr33n0r: you there/busy?
(14:25:57) [myg0t]DKay: im
(14:26:01) [myg0t]DKay: having sex with a buffalo
(14:26:03) [myg0t]DKay: but go ahead

(06:02:53) Mythix: god damnt
(06:02:54) Mythix: nevermind
(06:03:00) Mythix: looks like I dont get to sleep today
(06:03:02) Mythix: untila fter wrok
(06:03:06) Scr33n0r: ..
(06:03:08) Scr33n0r: wow?
(06:03:16) Scr33n0r: HAHA, YOUR LIFE SUX
(06:03:16) Mythix: dads car broke down
(06:03:23) Mythix: have to give him a ride to work
(06:03:26) Mythix: and he leaves in
(06:03:28) Mythix: 45 minutes
(06:03:37) Mythix: have to be up at 7 to wake my little brother up for school
(06:03:46) Mythix: meaning me sleepin= no
(06:03:55) Scr33n0r:
(06:04:05) Scr33n0r: ohhh Mythix's life sucks, it really really sux
(06:04:15) Scr33n0r: cuz his dads car = fuxed, oh oh ohh
(06:04:19) Mythix: life doesn't suck.
(06:04:21) Mythix: its just being a pain
(06:04:32) Scr33n0r: ssuurree
(06:04:57) Mythix: if
(06:05:00) Mythix: you are alive
(06:05:02) Mythix: not paralyzed
(06:05:06) Mythix: not mentally retarded
(06:05:08) Mythix: and not screenor
(06:05:13) Mythix: life = good++
(06:05:17) Scr33n0r: rofl

 [2:35:11 AM] <WiReS>
 [2:35:20 AM] <Ergot> Dude...
 [2:35:24 AM] <Ergot> This channel smells
 [2:35:32 AM] <Ergot> Screenor close your legs

<fiveseven> i was thinking about getting a socail life of my own
<fiveseven> but
<fiveseven> my computer chair is so comfy

[Sidoh]

LMFAO!! Mynd, that is a really good one.

[rabbit]

I love the retort one.

If you have anything to say, shut up.

"Grandma" from Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt.

[GameSnake]

"Time is the most prescious commodity we have"  - Vince McMahon

[deadly7]

http://www.keyurd.com/mythixisdrunk.html

[xex]

<tennisgh22> i was watching this porn and the girl keeps goinng "see!!! see?!!!! seeeee?!!!!"
<tennisgh22> and i was like wtf see what?
<tennisgh22> but then i realized
<tennisgh22> it was in spanish

[MyndFyre]

Since Joe quoted LotR....

I've always thought that this particular quote captured the essence of the human spirit and pride.

Have you ever seen it Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze.... Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets? --Boromir

Then of course....  for funny quotes,
It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell all right? Ooh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, anylisis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Ooh that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick... ass on a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap! --Fat Bastard

Tex: Well let's go get this big thing of yours.
Tucker: Bow-chicka-bow-wow...
Tex: Oh shut up.
Church: Shut up, Tucker.
Tucker: Did somebody call for a really hairy plumber? Bow-chicka-bow-wow
Church: Tucker. Shut up.
Tucker: I'm here to lay some pipe. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Tucker!
Tucker: So I hear you got sisters. Bow-chicka- who're twins! -bow-wow!
Church: Shut up.
Tucker: Hey, are you a model or famous actress? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Shut up!

Now kill all those fools. And those fools over there. And those fools. Leave no fool left unkilled. This army has a no fool discrimination clause, mwahaha! --O'Malley

Doc: You know, I really think we should try a NON-violent approach to resolve this.
O'Malley: I agree. Except replace the word "non" with "extremely," and after the word "violent," include the phrase, "BLOOD EXPLOSION EXTRAORDINAIRE!" HAHAHAHA!

(about tattoos) You are a god damn idiot. I'd like to prove this mathematically if I may. Take your current age, now subtract ten years from it. Were you smart back then? Of course you weren't, you were a god damn idiot! Fact of the matter is, you're just as big of an idiot today, it's just gonna take you ten more years to realize it!

[d&q]

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. " - Dazed & Confused

[rabbit]

Go Myndy.

Why are there six pedals.....if there are only four directions!

Shutup you stupid tank; you ruined my life

He has not tried to bite me.....since the first time he bit me...

Tucker: [...]You're just so stupid that you're lagged behind so that by the time you hear something you think it's already happened.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Caboose: That's not true--WAIT!

[Super_X]

"<Sede> Soon enough we won't be able to tell Canadians from real human beings."

and

"<Friday> ... what... the hell?
<Friday> Why do so many people have a + by their names?
<Sharkey> So that they can't be hurt by vampires. Duh."

[Blaze]

Tex: Well let's go get this big thing of yours.
Tucker: Bow-chicka-bow-wow...
Tex: Oh shut up.
Church: Shut up, Tucker.
Tucker: Did somebody call for a really hairy plumber? Bow-chicka-bow-wow
Church: Tucker. Shut up.
Tucker: I'm here to lay some pipe. Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Tucker!
Tucker: So I hear you got sisters. Bow-chicka- who're twins! -bow-wow!
Church: Shut up.
Tucker: Hey, are you a model or famous actress? Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
Church: Shut up!

I love the random inclusions of "Bow-chicka-bow-wow" in the new episodes.

Tucker: [...]You're just so stupid that you're lagged behind so that by the time you hear something you think it's already happened.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Caboose: That's not true--WAIT!

I thought he said it was happening again before he said thats not true, or am I wrong?

[trust]

(21:49:13) Newby: [link to picture of Kristen/her ex-boyfriend]
(21:49:14) Newby: he's sexy

[Sidoh]

Hahaha, Troost.

[Newby]

Mis-quoting fag.

(18:13:25) Trust1337: I'm a pussy

[trust]

How the hell was that a misquote? You never corrected yourself or anything to make it ungay.

[Newby]

(18:49:45) Newby1337: he's sexy
(18:49:45) Newby1337: err
(18:49:46) Newby1337: she
(18:50:15) Trust1337: lmao

[Sidoh]

How the hell was that a misquote? You never corrected yourself or anything to make it ungay.

Trust man... you crack me up.

[trust]

Newby and I have determined that the "she" (if he actually sent it, maybe he's trying to cover this up after the fact) was lost and never received by me. Sigh.