The One BnetAxe Update I have Liked.

[Screenor]

A person by the name of SPARC Assembly messaged me and told me all about it, so here it is.

http://www.bnetaxe.com/

this site has been hax0r3d by Denial@USEAST bitch. dont fuck with real hackers got it? i've had enough of your shit tw0p4ck, so shut the fuck up once and for all you dont think im a hacker still tw0p4ck? well look at this fuckin page. i have 0day spillin out of my motherfucking ass, faggot talk shit again and your home boxes get owned too. oh and an lkm has been installed on the server that will rm -rf /* it in exactly 6 hours so fuck you and fuck bnet axe. youve been owned. done and done, fucker.
oh and if any of you faggots want the fucking lame bnetaxev4, im leaking it since ive owned the fuck out of this server:
bnetaxev4 <-- VERY LAME THO

Then from the link to v4, lots of iago and xir bashing:

#!/bin/0wn3d
       
use 0hday || get_0wned;
                      ________________
                      |              |
                      |  wh3r3 r d4  |
                      |    0d4yZ??   |
            ^^^^^       |              |   
    ^^^^^^^      |  3y3 n33d my |
   |       |     |  d41ly 0day  |
   | 0   0 |    /|  ph1x1nz!!!  |
   |    \  |   / |              |
   |    -  |  /  |  g1mm3 d4    |
        |   ()  / /   | fuck1n w4r3z.|
        |      /      |______________|
        | \___/     
     ___| \   |__
    /            \
   /  /|          \
  /  / |_._|__.|\  \
 /  /  |       | \  \
/  /   |  (  ) |  \  \        <<<< BNET AXE >>>>
  /    |______/|   \  \__     <<<< version: >>>>
/\\    |       |   //\\\\\    <<<<   four   >>>>
  -    |   |   |   -  ----    <<<<   2005   >>>>
       |   |   |
       |   |   |
       |   |   |
     __|___|___|__
     |_____|______|  <--- n0t even your VMS box is safe --->
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

      You can run, but you can't hide!
       IN THIS ISSUE WE UNLEASH OUR 0DAY FURY!
            WATCH OUT SEKEERITY INDUSTRY!
           WATCH OUT WHITEHATZ!

-WE ENCOURAGE BLACKHATZ ACROSS DA WURLD TO UNLEASH THEIR
0DAY FURY AGAINZT THE OPPOSING WHITEHAT FORCE, WHO KEEPZ
      GROWING LARGER, AND FULL OF MORE KIDDIOTZ!

      Memberz of Valhalla Legendz have recently
      been caught idling in #gaydads4sons!!!!
     - iago, we know you love dem little kidz,
       and we know yer a whitehat!

   oh, and btw...
          our ascii
         drawingz
            own you
               hardcore.
                             


      pe0ple             s0 bef0re
      th1nk         y0u go and
      that               judg3 ppl
      bnetaxe            th4t y0u
      staff              d0nt kn0w
      memb3rz            why d0nt u
      ar3                take that
      skr1pt             shiny dild0
      kidd13z            out of ur
      and yet            ass, and
      th3z guyz          list3n ok
      d0nt kn0w 4nyth1ng 4b0ut uz
      s0 th3y go and t4lk sh1t and
      g3t their assez 0wn3d lyk3
                              fuckin
                                   h4rdk0re
                                   4nd every1
                                   laffz at
                                   them lol.
                                   h0w ir0nik
                                   iz th4t??
  we h8       g4yy     
    y0u      y0ur
     cuz    4nd
       y0u sh1t
        t4lkk
         l0l   
         
                                      y0u're n0t.
                            we assure y0u...                     
                              us...
                          better than
                        you are
        s0 if you think...
        we will 0wn your..
                        VAX VMS
                            box so
                quick...
                                  y0u w0nt have...
                                      time 2 reakt.
           
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-----------------------------------------------------------
.......................................................|\\|
.88888888ba ...........................................|\\|                                   
.88      "8b ........................... ,d ...........|\\|   
.88      ,8P ........................... 88 ...........|\\|   
.88aaaaaa8P'..8b,dPPYba, ...,adPPYba, .MM88MMM ........|\\|
.88""""""8b,..88P' .. "8a .a8P_____88 .. 88 ...........|\\|   
.88      `8b .88 ..... 88 .8PP""""""" .. 88 ...........|\\|   
.88      a8P .88 ..... 88 ."8b,   ,aa .. 88, ..........|\\|   
.88888888P" ..88 ..... 88 ..`"Ybbd8"'...."Y888 ........|\\| 
.......................................................|\\|                                               
.......................................................|\\|                                               
.......................................................|\\|
.......................................................|\\|                                           
....... db ............................................|\\|                                 
...... d88b ...........................................|\\|                                 
..... d8' 8b ..........................................|\\|                       
.... d8'  `8b  .... 8b, . ,d8 . ,adPPYba,............. |\\|
... d8YaaaaY8b .....`Y8,.,8P' . a8P_____88 ............|\\|
.. d8""""""""8b ..... )888(  .. 8PP""""""" ............|\\| 
. d8' ...... `8b .. ,d8" "8b, .."8b,   ,aa ............|\\| 
.d8' ........ `8b .8P' ... `Y8 ..`"Ybbd8"'.............|\\| 
.......................................................|\\|                                           
.......................................................|\\|                                           
.......................................................|\\|
.......................................................|\\|   
..................... ,d8 .............................|\\|   
................... ,d888 .............................|\\|
................. ,d8" 88 .............................|\\|   
.v4 ..... v4 .. ,d8"   88 .............................|\\|   
.`v4 ... v4'. ,d8"     88 .............................|\\|
..`v4 . v4'...8888888888888 ...........................|\\|
...`v4,v4'............ 88 .............................|\\|   
.... v4 " ............ 88 .............................|\\|
..........pr0ud supp0rt3rz 0f pr0j3kt m4yh3m...........|\\|
--------------------------------------------------------\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\|---------------------------------------------|\\\\\|
\\\\\\|  "4LL yUr 0-DaY aRR beL0ng tO uZ!!@#$%", v4 |\\\\\|
\\\\\\|---------------------------------------------|\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         0UR NEW AFFILIATE:         |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|           Clan 1337!             |\\\\\\\\\\|      
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      4LL Y0R 0DAY W4R3Z R        |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|            B3L0NG T0 UZ          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Y0U K4NT 3SC4P3          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      W1F0UT R4P3            |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         W3 4ud1t k0d3z           |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|            4ll w33k l0ng           |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|                   |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          k0d3 3xpl0itz           |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         tw3nty f0' s3v3n          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|       0ur n3w b3st fr1end:       |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|           TheLoStJoKeR           |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|                   |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          AKA                |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|                   |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      bsd the packet kiddie       |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|____________________________________|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      f34tur3d st4rz 0f v4:       |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|                          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         xar and torque          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          bsd             |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|       Clan 1337          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Op N1          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Riddle          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         DeCaY          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|              BaDaSs          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          c0nfu53d]zer0[          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          zim the hacker          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|           danieldaracer          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|                Denial              |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Aenima          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         bleop               |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Decree          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Snard          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Riddle          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|          ]$[^CyPHiN^]$[          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         feanor              |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|         Vague          |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| w3 R PR0UD SUPP0RT3RZ 0f PR0J3KT   |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| .........     M4YH3M     ......... |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|       AND WH1T3H8 M1N1STR1EZ       |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| .........  c0ntr1but3 2  ......... |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| .........  ch40s 0n th3  ......... |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| .........    1nt3rn3t    ......... |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|    0wn th3 phuq 0utt4 3v3ry0ne     |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|    0wn th3 phuq 0utt4 wh1t3h4tz    |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|     0wn sh1t t4lk1nG k1dd13z       |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      0wn th3 s3cur1ty 1ndu5try     |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|     tw0p4ck 4nd b1gb0y54m r d4     |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|        ph0und3rz 0f Leetism...     |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      A r3l1gi0n s0 l33t, y0u'll    |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|      n33d 2 b3c0m3 4 m3mb0r. l0lz. |\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\|------------------------------------|\\\\\\\\\\|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\|
----------------------------------------------------------|
L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL!
###########################################################
###########################################################
##                           ##
##          W3 H4V3 C0M3 T0 PHUQ SH1T UP.       ##
##                   W3 H4V3 N0 R3M0RS3.              ##   
##                      ##
##                      ##
##        PR0UD SUPP0RT3RZ 0F PR0J3CT 0wn '3m    ##
##           4ND PR0J3CT M4YH3M          ##
##                      ##
##                      ##
##        1PH Y0U K4N GU355 H0W M4NY       ##
##        P30PL3 R 1N 0N TH1Z SH1T,       ##
##        Y0U G3T PHR33 0DAY W4R3Z!!!       ##
##                      ##
##      s0 g3t yu0r m0j0 1n g34r, t4ke       ##
##      yu0r p4ntz 0ff, 4nd s1ng 1t w1f       ##
##           th3 4lm1ghty tw0p4ck:       ##   
##                      ##
##                      ##
##         [S0NG 0PH M4YH3M]          ##
##                      ##
##         WHITEHAT, Y0UR S0 FAT       ##
##         MEET WHITEH8,           ##
##         IT'Z G0NNA BE Y0 F8          ##
##              WE'LL OWN YOU ALL          ##
##         SO THAT NO ONE CAN REL8       ##
##                      ##
##         DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT,       ##
##         WE'LL CUT YU0R NUTS OFF       ##
##         SO YOU CANNOT M8,          ##
##         NIGGAZ, YOU WON'T EVEN       ##
##         BE ABLE TO MASTURB8          ##
##         HAVE FUN FINDING A D8       ##
##         YOU LIVE IN DA GAY ST8       ##
##         YOU HAVE BEEN TAKIN IT UP       ##
##         THE ASS AS OF L8          ##
##         I USED UR MOM 4 B8          ##
##         FO YO SISTA TO SUCK MAH DICK       ##
##          AND GIVE IT A LIL LICK       ##
##         WE WILL BEAT U WIT A STICk       ##
##                      ##
##                          ##
##         [/S0NG 0PH M4YH3M]          ##
##                      ##
##        1PH Y0U W1LL C0NTR1BUT3       ##
##             2 CHA0Z 4ND M4YH3M, R4P       ##
##        TH4T THR33 T1M3Z W1TH 4       ##
##        G00D B34TB0X3R, S0 1T          ##
##        S0UNDZ R34L K00L.          ##
##        1ph n0t, yu0r 4 ph4g,          ##
##        4nd y0u st4nd w1th th3       ##
##        wh1t3h4tz, n3wb. pr3p4r3       ##
##        j00rs3lf.             ##
##                      ##
###########################################################
###########################################################
L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL! L4wL!

4LL yUr 0-DaY aRR beL0ng tO uZ!!@#$%

n3w w1th f0r3w0rd by y0ur m4zt0rz tw0p4ck 4nd b1gb0y54m!

Sadly, it appears Clan Phatal Conspiracy is too **DEAD** to
appear on this zine! H0h0h0h0~~
---

"I see no changes,
Wake up in the mornin' and I ask myself,
Is life worth livin', or should I blast myself?"

- Tupac Shakur

"Take the evil out the people that be actin' right,
'cause both black and white are smokin' crack tonight."

- Tupac Shakur

"You're gonna get hacked,
and your bitch is gonna get smacked."

- tw0p4ck

"Big Boy Sam is in the house,
I see my boyfriend wearing my blouse."

- bigboysam

"Yo, I'm Mephisto from Ess oh Are,
I can code in C++ really good,
and... I can't think of a rhyme."

- SoR-Mephisto

"Hi, I'm PiaNKA, but all my friends call me Bianka."

- PiaNKA.de

"My name is pronounced Dark-icks-er, because my name used to be elixir."

- darkxir.de

"dark-elements is a group of friendly developers. We're all very skilled
at what we do, such as losing our sources to the programs we write, because
we do not know how to use floppy disks."

- vuther.de

"I snort a lot of coke, because I don't have any hope."

- darkxir.de

"im pr0 and im a zer0"

- ph47b4573d

"I have more 0days than I've had paydays."

- darkxir.de

"Watch out for the 'Homosexual Hacking Brigade'"

- darkxir.de

OH EM EFF GEE, I THINK I FOUND THE ELITE HACKER NAMED ALEPH1 ON IRC!

07:46 -!- aleph` [~nobody@ip70-178-133-138.ma.dl.cox.net]
07:46 -!-  ircname  : your mom is ESRB rated E
07:46 -!-  channels : #teen-ass #levelseven +#boh #darknet
07:46 -!-  server   : irc.easynews.com [just the same old re-runs]
07:46 -!- End of WHOIS

---

...and your gr8 whitehat leader darkxir appears to be lost in his own madness, and exploitz
himself. Good idea, darkxir... save us the trouble and rm yourself.

SHYT IZ GOIN DOWN THIS TIME PEEPZ! IF U WANT IN ON THIS UNDAGROUND SHIZ,
PLZ MSG UNIQ ON IRC.EFNET.NET IN CHANNEL #NULLROOT. HE WILL THEN TEST U
AND SEE IF U ARE WORTHY AND TRUSTWORTHY ENOUGH TO RECEIVE ALL THE 0-DAY
WAREZ OF DA MONTH. REMEMBER THAT THIZ IS UNDERGROUND SHIZNIT...

WE ARE LYKE FUQN LONE SHARKZ. WE GIVE U DA BENEFIT OF DA DOUBT, AND IF
YOU FUQ UP, 10 MEN COME AND BEAT THE FUQ OUTTA YEW WIT BASEBALL BATZ.

WE MAY BE E-THUGZ, WE MAY BE UR MASTERZ, OR EVEN UR FATHERZ,
BUT WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO FIND OUT UR REAL IDENTITY, REAL ADDR,
ETC ETC ETC, AND COME AND BEAT UR AZZ. WE ARE REAL AND TRUE TO
OUR MUDDAFUQN W0RD. DO NOT FUCK WITH US. U WILL LOSE.

U MAY KALL UZ IDIOTZ
U MAY KALL UZ SKR1PT KIDDIEZ
U MAY KALL UZ LAMERZ
U MAY KALL UZ POSERZ
U MAY KALL UZ NERDZ
U MAY KALL UZ ST00PID

. . . BUT AFTER WE 0WN YOU . . .

U MAY KALL UZ GODZ

YOU CANNOT BEAT US
YOU CANNOT DESTROY US
YOU CANNOT DECEIVE US
YOU CANNOT WIN
YOU **WILL** LOSE

darkxir appearz to be coked out
no, not on coca-cola
hez into the hardcore shit now folkz...
let him hack, and u wont be comin back!!!!11

<darkxir> SiCk AnD TiReD oF U FaGz
<darkxir> FeeL My WrATh MOtHeRFuCKErZz!!!
<darkxir>
<darkxir> $ unset HISTFILE
<darkxir> $ ./xpl 127.0.0.1
<darkxir>
<darkxir> exploiting...
<darkxir> target successfully exploited in 0.001 seconds!
<darkxir>
<darkxir> [ dropp1ng to b1ndshell on p0rt 31337 ]
<darkxir>
<darkxir> pwd
<darkxir> /root
<darkxir> echo 'w00pz i made a mist@ke'
<darkxir> w00pz i made a mist@ke
<darkxir> cat t4bl3-0f-c0nt3ntz


\\-------------------------------------------------------//
\\      t4bl3 0f m0th3rphuck1n c0nt3ntz b1tch3z       //
\\-------------------------------------------------------//
\\              ARTICLE NAME            AUTHOR     //
\\-------------------------------------------------------//
\\  ~0. th3 auth0rz             | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~1. forew0rd by the mast0rz          | duh...     //
\\  ~2. how to join bnet axe staff       | Jake       //
\\  ~3. ircbonicz             | bitch0wnR  //
\\  ~4. tw0p4ck's birfdey!                  | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~5. stupid shit in Op N1               | anonymouz    //   
\\  ~6. how2haq                | CeLe[aC]   //
\\  ~7. unleashing your 0day fury!       | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~8. a hacker... hacked.                 | BigBoySam  //
\\  ~9. d0x dr0p on bsd                     | irhaqr     //
\\  ~10. how to get better @ coding       | Pope    //
\\  ~11. d4gg3r the sex pHieNd              | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~12. staff member intarviewz       | anonymous  //
\\  ~13. h()w tO TRaDE 0DaYz                | 0dAygaWd    //
\\  ~14. n4rQ sp0tt1ng             | n0t4f3d    //
\\  ~15. 4zz-k3y 4Rt c0mp3t1ti0N #1       | BigBoySam    //
\\  ~16. eYe PHaRteD LoL                    | azzmaztr   //
\\  ~17. social whorez are ghey          | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~18. the whitehat torture blaqbook      | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~19. how to DDoS (aka how to be gay)    | DeCeP7ioN  //
\\  ~20. pr0j3kt m4yh3m hitlist             | irhaqr     //
\\  ~21. operation: wh1t3h4t fr33d0m       | bigboysam  //
\\  ~22. narqz exposed             | PiANKA     //
\\  ~23. spreading propaganda: demystified  | PiANKA     //
\\  ~24. how to be an e-thug!!!111111       | phuckphace //
\\  ~25. denial the narq                    | milfman    //
\\  ~26. religi0n for the elitez       | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~27. project buttphuck                  | phuckphace //
\\  ~28. newbz in the h00d, featuring decree| Feanor     //
\\  ~29. the lamers... exposed              | PiaNKA     //
\\  ~30. CyPhiN the hacker          | SoR-Meph   //
\\  ~31. Dark-Elementz elite hackerz        | PiaNKA     //
\\  ~32. Top 10 Hackers On Bee Net          | BigBoySam  //
\\  ~33. bnetweb getz 0wn3d h4rdk0r3        | tw0p4ck    //
\\  ~34. shout outz             | all    //
\\  ~35. fuck you's                  | all        //
\\  ~36. bnetaxe says goodbye :/            | all        //
\\-------------------------------------------------------//
\\        3nd 0f th3 T4bl3 0f K0nt3ntz l0l            //
\\-------------------------------------------------------//

--
------------------------------------------------------------
\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/\+/
/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\/+\
------------------------------------------------------------
:::: - 0. th3 auth0rz

y0y0y0 th4 m0th3RphUck1n K-rAD m0FoZ aRe b4q 4nd r34Dy
t0 sm4q.



w0rd. For da past three issuez, we've been printing out
the auth0rz of the fuckin zine. Eye guess we need to hold
up the 'tradition'. HowevR, this time it'z gonna be a bit
different. We are going to st34L ideaz from people lyke
~el8 and PHC, and use the simple format of listing out
the members' nicks, and putting small descripti0nz.
No more biographiez! 4r3nT w3 b4D aZZ?!@#

thiz time we have some new memberz. Treat them with the
same respekt you would for tw0p4ck && bigboysam (prez00ming
it'z a good respekt!)!

___________________________________________________________
|         _________BNET AXE STAFF LIST:_________           |
|  NAME                                    DESCRIPTION      |
|__________________________________________________________|
| tw0p4ck               tH3 pH3eRLezZ leAd3r |
| bigboysam              lykez the big boyz |
| phuckphace             he'll phuck yo phace up yo! |
| ph47b4573          fuq wit him and yo face g3tz pl4zt3rD |
| Aenima                         tewl rox u |
| Jake                       jake da pancake |
| CeLe[aC]            a hacka not 2 be trifled wif |
| Feanor            yes, i joined! finally! |
| SoR-Mephisto                      i'll ()wn u with MSVC++ |
| ZelD                   ELiTe PhORuM HaCKEr |
| irhaqr                         3yE r H4Qr |
| bitch0wnR               0wnz all yur bitchez |
| milfman        not to be mistaken with the milk man! |
| PiaNKA                propaganda spread0r |
| 0s4m4        steal1ng yur turbanz n sell1ng for 0dayz |
| 0dAyGaWd                               g()d ()f thE 0dAy |
| n0t4f3d          no... hes not a fed... ok |
| azzmaztr         da masta of yo mom'z ass!! |
|__________________________________________________________|
|                                                          |
|       _________ END BNET AXE STAFF LIST_________         |
|__________________________________________________________|

theze new members have proven to be a very good asset to the
pr0j3kt m4yh3m and Bnet Axe cause. They will 0wn you if you
fuck with us. They are our little mole ratz who do everything
we say. That'z good though, because we get sh1t done!

they are very elite though, don't get me wrong!

///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\
\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///

:::: - 1. fore w0rd by the mast0rz

/ * by tw0p4ck and bigboysam */

Who the fuck are these kidz going around calling people kiddiez
when they do not even know the so-called 'kiddiez'? If they are
kiddiez, then congratz, you guys just called a real kiddie, a 'kiddie'.
However, you kidz who fucking go around calling people kiddiez
(you know who you are, and you won't get away with it anymore) and
shit have no right to do so, because you're fucking kiddiez. That'z
right, you heard me. Thiz may seem like a contradiction to all yew
smurt folkz, but it izn't. The Bnet Axe Staff are not kiddiez, and
I repeat... we are n0t kiddiez. We fuck shit up when we want/need to.

The people who like to go around calling other people kiddies, and
happen to be kiddies themselves, will from now on be owned and rm'd.
we are sick and tired of your bullshit wannabe hacking techneeqz.

Anywayz...

This versi0n of Bnet Axe may be a bit different. Our morales are
high, our 0day count iz high(er), and hell... WE'RE HIGH! But fear
not bretheren of Pr0j3kt M4yh3m, we're here to support you!
However, you whitehatz/kiddiotz better ph33r. If not, you may
find out s00ner or later that your ignorance plays a gr8
roll in your confidence. Unite, fellow blackhatz, and let'z
defeat the evil that is the whitehatz!

For fun (of course, we @ bnet axe l0ve fun we sent a letter to
securityfocus staff:

[letter]

Dear Security Focus,

We have recently been looking at all your cool stuff, and
this is what we think...

Fuck you whitehatz
Fuck you kiddiotz
Fuck you, security industry
Fuck you, SecurityFocus/BugTraq
Fuck all you bitchez!

Pr0j3kt M4yh3m f0r l1ph3.

with much 'love',



tw0p4ck and friendz

P.S. I got 0dayz and you don't

[/letter]

Note that the stamp uzed to mail it was a $0.25 penis stamp,
thankz to our new member SoR-Mephisto, who has been collecting
them for 5 yearz! Sorry dewd, we had to nab the hairy black one
from your collectorz case... we just thought it would be perfekt.

+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+
+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+__+

:::: - 2. how to join bnet axe staff

/* by Jake */

hello I am Jake from jakewebz. I am a new staff member of the bnet
axe and I must say...joining bnet axe is no easy task!

Here is what you must do (descriptions will be listed later):

1. join forumz.
2. talk.
3. suck.
4. show skillz.
5. contribute.
6. repeat from 1.

I know that I didn't say much in the list, but that's all for the
suspense of the article, duh!

1. join forumz:
Exactly what it says numbnuts! You join the forums at
http://www.bnetaxe.us.
~~~~

2. talk:
On the forumz that you just joined you're going to want to talk.
Preferrably you want to say good things about tw0p4ck and
BigBoySam. Now me being a master at social engineering, I know
just the way... it's called flattering! You want to flatter
them, lol! (note by tw0p4ck: oh...)
~~~~

3. suck:
Now once tw0p4ck and BigBoySam (and other core staff members)
realize that you could be a good asset to the team, they will
initiate the first tests:

- if you can suck cock
- if you can deep throat well
- if you like it

Now you must know about the oral sex rating scale.

A+ - You are the best cock sucker ever. You do every deed
perfectly, and on demand. You made tw0p4ck && BigBoySam
have amazing orgasms. You even swallowed. You're in.

A - You are a very very good cock sucker. You do every deed
ALMOST perfectly, and pretty much on demand. You made tw0p4ck
&& BigBoySam have really good orgasmz. Try getting an A+, though.

A- - You're a very good cock sucker. All deeds are performed
good, and right away. Tw0p4ck && BigBoySam had good orgasms.
Try getting an A+, though.

B+ - Pretty damn good cock sucker. All deeds performed well,
and on a timely basis. Tw0p4ck && BigBoySam are happy with
their orgasmz. Work your way up, though.

B - Pretty good cock sucker. Deeds were performed pretty well,
and on a decent time basis. Tw0p4ck && BigBoySam liked their
orgasms.

B- - Good cock sucker. Deeds were performed well, and on a decent
time basis. Tw0p4ck && BigBoySam are happy.

C+ - Decent cock sucker. Deeds were performed decently, and
on an okay time basis. Satisfactory orgasms.

C - Okay cock sucker. Deeds were performed okay, and on a
semi-okay time basis. Satisfactory orgasms.

C- - Semi-okay cock sucker. Deeds were not quite up to par,
but were performed in a timely basis. Okay orgasms.

D+ - Not-so-good cock sucker. Deeds were badly performed,
and it took a long ass time to do. Unsatisfactory orgasmz.

D - You suck... especially at sucking. It's recommended that you
buy a 10" dildo to practice on.

D- - You suck... especially at sucking. It's recommended that you
buy a 10" dildo to practice on.

F - Go away, you cannot get tw0p4ck | BigBoySam to cum...
you're getting 0wn3d.

I have to say, though... I did get an A+ on the sucking part .
Jake is a master at his game, remember that.
----

4. Show skillz
Show skillz, such as the following:

[helloworld.c]
#include <stdio.h>

int main()
{
   printf("hello tw0p4ck and BigBoySam!!\n");

   return 0;
}
[/helloworld.c]

Yep, it'z that ez!

----

5. Contribute
Basikally you wanna talk like them, and spread their ideas.
Write papers on stuff they want you to, etc. It's elite.

----

6. Repeat from 1
Keep doing all of this stuff in order until you get it right.
Then you'll be elite like me, Jake from Jakewebz .

p'z dudes,
Jake

!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@

:::: - 3. ircbonicz

/* by bitch0wnR */

y0h0h0, this iz the bitch 0wnR ready to 0wn some bitchez and fuckin
teach some kidz how to talk right on eye are sea.

n0w as you all know, irc is pretty lame. However, sometimes we gotsta go
on it to make fun of peepz. fear not, young children... da bitch 0wn3r
is here to teach you.

so lets say we login to irc...

--- Looking up irc.Prison.NET..
--- Connecting to irc.Prison.NET (64.124.0.94) port 6667..
--- Connected. Now logging in..
--- *** Doing reverse DNS lookup...
--- *** Connecting for ident request...
% Servicing ident request from 64.124.0.94
--- *** Sending ident request...
--- *** Ident reply received.
--- *** Reverse DNS reply received.
--- *** Doing forward DNS lookup...
--- *** Forward DNS reply received.
--- cheese already in use. Retrying with cheese_..
--- Welcome to the Internet Relay Network cheese_
--- Your host is irc.Prison.NET, running version 2.8/csircd-1.15beta1-RF-4.5
--- This server was created Jul 19 2005 22:16:25
--- irc.Prison.NET 2.8/csircd-1.15beta1-RF-4.5 oOi beiIklmnopstv
--- CHARSET=ascii INVEX EXCEPTS MAXCHANNELS=20 :are supported by this server
--- NETWORK=EFnet STD=i-d STATUSMSG=@+ PREFIX=(ov)@+ CHANTYPES=#& NICKLEN=9 TOPICLEN=120 KICKLEN=120 CHANMODES=beI,k,l,imnpst MODES=4 MAXBANS=100 CASEMAPPING=rfc1459 :are supported by this server
--- There are 9158 users and 75401 invisible on 59 servers
--- 413 :operator(s) online
--- 38580 :channels formed
--- I have 2297 clients and 1 servers
--- Highest connection count: 4393 (4392 clients)
--- You are client #238876 to connect since Thu Jul 14 20:50:56 2005 GMT
--- - irc.Prison.NET Message of the Day -
--- - 29/4/2005 18:29
--- -
--- -
--- - Open Ports: 6666-6667
--- -
--- - Breaking one or more of the following policies will get you
--- - /Kill'ed and/or K-Lined
--- -
--- - 1) NO BOTS are allowed on this   2) IRC Ops here will NOT help
--- -    server!  Bots of any kind        you with taken over channels
--- -    are not tolerated (channel,      so please dont ask.
--- -    flood, fserv, dcc, ftp, etc).
--- -
--- - 3) Clones of any type are not    4) NO detached or excessively
--- -    allowed.                         idle clients.
--- -
--- - 5) NO SPAM or auto advertising   6) NO autoreconnecting clients
--- -
--- - 7) Faking user@host is            NO Link Looking (automated
--- -    not allowed.                     /links command)
--- -
--- - 9) WinGate or other proxy
--- -    clients are not allowed
--- -
--- - We preapologize for annoying /msgs, /ctcp requests, or incorrect
--- - /kills from IRC Ops.  They are often times unavoidable in order to
--- - keep the server rules enforced.
--- -
--- - Please be understanding.
--- -
--- - If you need to contact an IRC Op, type /stats p to see which are currently
--- - on then /msg one of them.  Just because someone is idle, doesn't mean they
--- - wont respond to a /msg.
--- -
--- - If you find a bot on this server: You can /msg one of the IRC
--- - Ops on this server with ALL relevant information
--- -
--- - If not online email ircops@prison.net
--- -
--- - Any other questions or problems about this server may be directed to:
--- - irc@prison.net or try /msg Rogue_F help me please!
--- -
--- -                                                                       
--- End of /MOTD command.
--- cheese_ sets mode +i cheese_
--- You are now known as wafflez

then we join the almighty elite hacker channel #blackhats:

/join #blackhats

--> You are now talking on #blackhats
--- Topic for #blackhats is http://www.security.nnov.ru/files/lynn-cisco.pdf | phrack 63 iz out, but who karez?
--- Topic for #blackhats set by ku3 at Wed Aug 03 02:51:17 2005
<wafflez> yo homiez

th3n we do /who #blackhats:

--- #blackhats cheese eye.h8.yew.com irc.Prison.NET wafflez H :0 cheese
--- #blackhats ~unix venus.nvc.cs.vt.edu irc.efnet.pl xxl H@ :4 &nbsp;
--- #blackhats obik line135-218.adsl.actcom.co.il irc.pte.hu Obik G@ :4 Obik
--- #blackhats ~illusive ns5.integrityservers.net irc.servercentral.net illusive H :4 the toof fairy
--- #blackhats bx suid.hack.co.za irc.efnet.nl bx H@ :5 basic element.
--- #blackhats ku3 segfault.ru irc.homelien.no ku3 G@ :4 IT'S A NINETY SIX THING, YO!
--- #blackhats zimo norsu.net irc.homelien.no zimo4 H :4 booyaka
--- #blackhats izm reverse.ipv4.no irc.inet.tele.dk JDM H :4 Reality is merely an illusion...
--- #blackhats ~kempo playaz.biz irc.choopa.net kempo H :3 Kemal A.
--- #blackhats ZiruX is.leeching.from.nasa.se irc.mzima.net BoR0 H :2 psychout
--- #blackhats blackhat errr.org irc.inet.tele.dk blackhawt H :4 blah
--- #blackhats ~toxa inax.org irc.servercentral.net TOXA` H :4 toxa
--- #blackhats tarantelo irc-helper.net irc.efnet.pl floYy G :4 floYy
--- #blackhats ~ryen 83.73.183.233.ip.tele2adsl.dk irc.inet.tele.dk ryen H :4 ryen
--- #blackhats ~acid mail.alink.co.za efnet.xs4all.nl ac-id H :6 acid
--- #blackhats loko blowfish.en.crypted.us efnet.xs4all.nl MUSHi H :6 MUSHi
--- #blackhats uplink phrack.be efnet.xs4all.nl uplink H :6 uplink
--- #blackhats woot eviltronic.com irc.dataphone.se ePax H :4 La confiance est une faiblesse.
--- #blackhats ircd hug.pl irc.efnet.pl chemik G :4 /dev/null
--- #blackhats damn secure.signalstorm.org irc.efnet.pl Dman H :4 John Kwiatkowsky
--- #blackhats ~xorandor nosferatu.firstvds.ru irc.efnet.pl orandxor H :4 xorandor
--- #blackhats arsim 195.205.11.62 irc.efnet.pl arsim G :4  d3v1L
--- #blackhats ludx yo.whazzzzzzzaaaaaaaaap.org irc.efnet.pl LuDx^ G :4 Who i am?
--- #blackhats ~punk gesetzlos.org efnet.ipv6.xs4all.nl cpk` H :5 General Failure
--- #blackhats ~mhm 3ffe:80ee:2e23::2 efnet.ipv6.xs4all.nl slon G :5 blabla
--- #blackhats edo77o3 I.eat.cheese.in.my.mouse-hole.com irc.kagmir.ca Mouse3 H :4 ...
--- #blackhats ~edin server8324611289.serverpool.info irc.colosolutions.net DecCode H :3 DecCode
--- #blackhats ~uptime phrack.be irc.servercentral.net uptime H@ :4 fuck off
--- #blackhats guy rat.io irc.easynews.com guy` H@ :5 Guy S
--- #blackhats guy myseq.org efnet.ipv6.xs4all.nl guy_ H@ :5 Guy S
--- #blackhats ~ek 3ffe:1001:600:8::5 efnet.ipv6.xs4all.nl _solek H@ :5
--- #blackhats eleven wifi.hacker.com irc.servercentral.net nevele H :4 I'm too busy to read BitchX.doc
--- #blackhats ~rob du213-130-142-30.as15444.net irc.servercentral.net lemon714 H :4 rob
--- #blackhats ~epidemic DALnet.istanbul.1.vg efnet.demon.co.uk epidemic H :5
--- #blackhats ~radiomhz 207.26.209.34 irc.blackened.com lam3r H :4 BlackHats
--- #blackhats awk hella.secret irc.blackened.com SoftIce H@ :4 Softice
--- #blackhats ~immortal c-67-164-83-235.hsd1.ca.comcast.net irc.choopa.net `immortal H :3 tehimmo
--- #blackhats bx suid.hack.co.za irc.efnet.nl rD H@ :5 rD
--- #blackhats ~beeyatch wannabe1337.de irc.efnet.nl beeyatch H :5 beeyatch
--- #blackhats peti r028.red.fastwebserver.de efnet.demon.co.uk |peti H :5 not a real spoof, just a fake.
--- #blackhats di0ad deepmagic.org irc.igs.ca di0aD G :4 Joe Bobba
--- #blackhats mh greyhat.org irc.easynews.com methamp H@ :5 Unfortunate events.
--- #blackhats icer icerslair.com irc.easynews.com iCER H@ :5 )sT( The stOrm is Comming...
--- #blackhats snyker gangster.biat.ch irc.easynews.com uplink- H :5 uplink
--- #blackhats ~overg anarchy.blackhat.ru efnet.demon.co.uk ov3r H :5 overg
--- #blackhats redhat armando99.org irc.easynews.com armando99 H@ :5 Millions of Open Minds can't be Wrong.
--- #blackhats doni038 prizon.net irc.choopa.net DoNi038 H :3 hax
--- #blackhats zimo player.fi irc.efnet.nl zimo H@ :5 simon sexual
--- #blackhats alextg 2001:7d0:6011::71 irc.efnet.nl AlexTG H@ :5 AlexTG@EFnet
--- #blackhats redone hack-fu.com irc.umich.edu volcom H :4 volcom
--- #blackhats ~c1sco bogema.net irc.inet.tele.dk x25 H :4 x25
--- #blackhats ~g3p0 adsl-68-252-142-214.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net irc.choopa.net g3p0 H :3 g3p0
--- #blackhats pint redfish.be irc.kagmir.ca pintos H@ :4 main()

theze guys are really fuckin' lame. Hold on, let me take a look at the /who list again...
OMG, IZ DAT BX AND ICER?? what a buncha fuckin lamerz. And not to mention that bx and iCER
are opped! Lame kids...

anyways, that should get you goin' on connecting to irc.

next up is learning how to talk.

You'll notice a little bar (textb0x) at the bottom of your irc client that allows you to type.
Type something like "omg lolz im lernin!" and press da ent0r button!

--- Cannot join #hackers (Channel is invite only).
--- Cannot join #hacker (Channel is invite only).
--- Cannot join #hack (Requires keyword).
--- Cannot join #0day (Requires keyword).
--- Cannot join #zeroday (Requires keyword).
--- Cannot join #ohday (channel is invite only).

Oopz, sorry! dat was an accidental paste... now onto the article, homies.

follow theze 10 rules and you'r3 good 2 go:

1. when addressing someone, always use the ':' oper8or.
example... 'bitch0wnR: you are my god.'

description (1):
This makes you elite. Generally, if you do this, everyone will know you are a
seasoned irc veteran! it's purely eliteeeee!

2. flame people a lot.
example... 'bitch0wnR ownz you, cuz ur a bitch, and u fuckin suck you nigger'
(edit by tw0p4ck: please do not use the word nigger...)

description (2):
This is hilariouz, because they will bow down to you when you mention the name
'bitch0wnR'.

3. tell everyone you have a lot of 0day.
example... 'yo dewdz i got a lot of 0day'

description (3):
Yep, this will have them sh4k1ng in their bootz. They will stop messing with you,
scared that you might unleash your 0day fury. This tekneeq wurkz!

4. use funny signature linez when joining channels
example... 'who be up in da house?? bitch0wnR be up in da house!'

description (4):
Everytime you join a channel, you instantly say that. That way everyone will know
you're elite, and a seasoned join3r of the channel!

5. emphasize the point that you are elite
example... 'im elite'

description (5):
Thiz is a good tekneeq, you guyz. Let's say you get something done, like recompiling
your Linux kernel (an elite task, I might add!), you say 'im elite'. Everyone will
bow down to you instantly.

6. talk about the people you've 0wn3d lately
example... 'i 0wn3d this one guy named BaDaSs. he wuz real lame.'

description (6):
this works real well too (as do all of my tekneeqZ!). Many people will fear you.

7. threaten people when they get mad at you
example... 'ill fuckin 0wn your b0x dewd'

description (7):
The funniest of them. This actually usually ends up in an argument between the
two people. In fact, it usually brings in more people. The only way to get them to
fear you after this is to actually 0wn them h4rdc0r3.

8. everytime you go afk, say somethin' c00l
example... 'afk, masturbating'

description (:
The 'afk, masturbating' techneek is a very good one indeed. Usually pe0ple laff at
it when they see it. this could make you xtr33mely popular, lol. Everyone masturb8z,
aphterall.

9. use swear w0rdz alot
example... "fuck you fuckin prick ass bitch mothafucka ass cunt hoe'

description (9):
this will show people that you are not a force to be reckoned with.

10. talk about how big you are
example... 'my c0ck is so fuckin big dewd'

description (10):
This is a good way of proving more that you are not a force to be reckoned with.
If people don't believe that your dick is big, tell them you'll show them a pic.
They will decline, and perhaps believe you, because you told them you'd even
show them a pic! How eleet.

After following these 10 elite roolz, this is how your persona will be:

A hardened irc veteran,
4n el8 h4ck3r,
someone who fears nothing,
someone with a big dick,
someone who is really smart.

K33p it r34l, fagz

- bitch0wnR

~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!

:::: - 4. tw0p4ck's birfdey!

/* by tw0p4ck */

yo mothafuckaz, dis iz tw0p4ck. T0day is my birthday! Dis morning at
exactly 10:00 AM I turned 11 yeerz old! I'm now a pre-teen, and what
can I say... itz time to get into the pussay! H3r3 iz my check-off
lizt. I will complete all theze tasks as I gr0w up! You should check
off which ones you have done so far also.

tw0p4ck'z Pr3-T33n H4ck3r Ch3ck0ff LiZt:

[ ] get some pussy
[ ] 0wn 100 b0x3z in 0ne d4y
[ ] steal my momz credit cardz and buy some w4r3z
[ ] write 50 0day in 1day
[ ] eat some pussy
[ ] get mah big dick sucked by a big lipped bitch
[ ] jack off 15 timez in one day
[ ] beat carz down wif a baseball bat
[ ] beat old people up
[ ] get h1gh
[ ] get crunk
[ ] commit 25 crimez in one day and not get caught (real life)
[ ] find Bin Laden and steal his 0dayz
[ ] finish this check off list

your score: ___

score list:

1-2: lamer.
2-5: you suck
5-8: n0t bad.
8-14: y0u are elite as tw0p4ck

EOF

okayz, so lyke that is elite. I think I have a boner.
Let me check... *looks in pants*.

w0w, my cock is hard! time to go jack off.

note to self: add one tally mark to the "times I've jacked off" paper.

later, n3wbz.

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&
*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*()*
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

:::: - 5. stupid shit in Op N1

/* by some anonymous dude */

ok, this is where I am putting all the stupid logs of Op N1.
This place is so lame that you could shit on Caylor's head,
and he wouldnt even know it

 [12:07:40 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I smoked that ounce in like a day
 [12:07:53 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> you are going to smoke yourself retarded
 [12:07:53 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Or maybe like 4 days
 [12:07:57 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> But still
 [12:07:57 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> ive done that before
 [12:08:00 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I have no tolerance
 [12:08:03 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> i thought i was retarded
 [12:08:13 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I went to a funeral today
 [12:08:14 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> cuz i had like half a bottle of JD and some vodka along with a rought ounce
 [12:08:18 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And I bought an E pill from this kid
 [12:08:19 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> of Orange Crush nonetheless
 [12:08:22 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And took it before the funeral
 [12:08:33 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> You have no idea how trippy it is to look at a dead person when on MDMA
 [12:08:41 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> you are so retarded
 [12:08:44 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I know
 [12:08:47 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> taking E at a funeral..
 [12:08:49 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> smart...
 [12:08:49 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I told you I'm getting his truck, right?
 [12:08:53 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> yeah
 [12:08:54 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Yes I did
 [12:08:58 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> no you said 'i hope i get his truck'
 [12:09:01 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I don't have any brain cells left at all
 [12:09:07 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Yeah well I'm getting it!!!
 [12:09:10 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> AHAHAHA ROFL PWNT
 [12:09:11 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> k
 [12:09:16 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> my mom is buying a Cadillac SRX
 [12:09:20 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> ew
 [12:09:21 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> to go along with my dads caddy
 [12:09:28 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I'm so sick of caddys
 [12:09:30 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> no dude the sunroof goes back through the ENTIRE thing
 [12:09:32 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And hondas
 [12:09:33 AM] <sekeer> <p> LoL html 0wns y0ur s0uL </p>
 [12:09:35 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And toyotas
 [12:09:37 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And chevys
 [12:09:44 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> and uh
 [12:09:47 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> chevys
 [12:09:54 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Wow
 [12:09:55 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> echo "Mah PHP owns " . $GayWordforYou;
 [12:10:00 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Quitting smoking cigarettes is hard
 [12:10:03 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> YEAH WELL
 [12:10:16 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> sprintf("I love %s", "myself");
 [12:10:22 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> h4x3d
 [12:10:23 AM] <sekeer> echo '0WN3D' > /etc/motd
 [12:10:30 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> ew
 [12:10:41 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Jason, please punch him for that
 [12:10:44 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> no
 [12:10:45 AM] <sekeer> lol
 [12:10:45 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> motd?
 [12:10:50 AM] That is not a valid command. Type /help or /? for more info.
 [12:10:52 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> What a cockmunch
 [12:10:53 AM] <sekeer>  /etc/motd
 [12:10:56 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> there is no /etc/motd on my pc
 [12:10:57 AM] <sekeer> in Unix
 [12:10:59 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Same
 [12:11:03 AM] <sekeer> its in unix
 [12:11:07 AM] <sekeer> you use it?
 [12:11:14 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Other than that Unix is gay
 [12:11:15 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> No
 [12:11:19 AM] <sekeer> lol
 [12:11:22 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> wait
 [12:11:23 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> i take it back
 [12:11:25 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> its there!
 [12:11:28 AM] <sekeer> lol
 [12:11:28 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> i have no clue what its for
 [12:11:30 AM] <caylor@Azeroth> but its there!
 [12:11:32 AM] <sekeer> what distro you on?
 [12:11:34 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Message of the day
 [12:11:37 AM] <sekeer> yes
 [12:11:37 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> FC3?
 [12:11:40 AM] <Caylor> 'run cat /etc/motd
 [12:11:45 AM] -- LolliS [296ms] has joined the channel using Starcraft Brood War (16 wins, with a rating of 187 on the ladder)
 [12:11:46 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Jason
 [12:11:47 AM] <Caylor> err
 [12:11:50 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Still on FC3
 [12:11:50 AM] <Caylor> ?trigger
 [12:11:57 AM] -- Caylor-XMMS [46ms] has joined the channel using Starcraft Brood War (0 wins).
 [12:11:57 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> When the FUCK is FC5 going to be done?
 [12:11:59 AM] <sekeer> it usually just prints info about the distro by default when you login to the shell.
 [12:12:00 AM] <Caylor> ?trigger
 [12:12:03 AM] <LolliS> oo
 [12:12:05 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I wanna get that GB of ram for my other HP and install dat nigga shit
 [12:12:06 AM] <Caylor> it should be out this year pianka
 [12:12:12 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> This year?!
 [12:12:14 AM] <Caylor> yeah my boss said he was going to order a few
 [12:12:18 AM] <Caylor> .say b
 [12:12:18 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> b
 [12:12:19 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> That just made me sneeze!!!
 [12:12:21 AM] <sekeer> Fedora sucks :-/
 [12:12:21 AM] <Caylor> .run cat /etc/motd
 [12:12:27 AM] <Caylor> yes i know sekeer
 [12:12:27 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> IM RUNNING FC1 ASSHOLE
 [12:12:31 AM] <Caylor> but its getting better
 [12:12:31 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> LINUX IS SO GAY
 [12:12:37 AM] <PiaNKA[N1] iBot 2.0 (build 128) by PiaNKA>
 [12:12:37 AM] <sekeer> yes linux does suck
 [12:12:41 AM] <sekeer> okay so neways
 [12:12:42 AM] <Caylor> nuh uhz0r
 [12:12:43 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> You know what
 [12:12:45 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Windows > *
 [12:12:46 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Simple
 [12:12:48 AM] <Caylor> .run ls /etc/motd
 [12:12:49 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> #2: /etc/motd
 [12:12:52 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Windows owns you all
 [12:12:57 AM] <sekeer> do..
 [12:13:00 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> If any Linux distro programmer
 [12:13:06 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Thinks they could create something as good as Windows
 [12:13:07 AM] <sekeer> .run echo 'hi' > /etc/motd
 [12:13:08 AM] <LolliS> o.o
 [12:13:08 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I'd love to see it
 [12:13:13 AM] <Caylor> ok
 [12:13:17 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Or as widely used
 [12:13:20 AM] <sekeer> when you login to your shell, the motd shows up.
 [12:13:21 AM] <Caylor> .run echo 'I am sexy man' > /etc/motd
 [12:13:21 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> #3: 'I am sexy man' > /etc/motd
 [12:13:26 AM] <Caylor> .run cat /etc/motd
 [12:13:32 AM] <sekeer> why does it not cat it?
 [12:13:33 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> *sigh*
 [12:13:39 AM] <Caylor> it will
 [12:13:42 AM] <Caylor> but this is shell script
 [12:13:46 AM] <Caylor> it wont do echo >
 [12:13:47 AM] <sekeer> Lol
 [12:13:54 AM] <Caylor> i gotta do it locally
 [12:13:54 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Ugh
 [12:13:56 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I need nicotine
 [12:13:58 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> So badly...
 [12:13:59 AM] <sekeer> do it
 [12:14:01 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> JASON OMFG
 [12:14:05 AM] <sekeer> then type login
 [12:14:09 AM] <sekeer> and login as ur user
 [12:14:11 AM] <sekeer> and it'll show up
 [12:14:11 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> I was gonna stop drinking
 [12:14:14 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And stop smoking
 [12:14:15 AM] <Caylor> [jason@localhost ~]$ echo 'i am so sexy omg' > /etc/motd bash: /etc/motd: Permission denied
 [12:14:16 AM] <Caylor> har har
 [12:14:19 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> And just get high all day
 [12:14:21 AM] <sekeer> oh duh..
 [12:14:23 AM] <sekeer> well thats why
 [12:14:26 AM] <Caylor> su su sudo
 [12:14:26 AM] <sekeer> do..
 [12:14:32 AM] <sekeer> no, just use su
 [12:14:33 AM] <sekeer> LAWL
 [12:14:36 AM] <sekeer> su
 [12:14:38 AM] <Caylor> yes i kn0wz0r
 [12:14:41 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> OMFGULOLfr
 [12:14:44 AM] <sekeer> password: hiimahacker
 [12:14:55 AM] <Caylor> [jason@localhost ~]$ su Password: [root@localhost jason]#
 [12:14:59 AM] <Caylor> sex!
 [12:15:04 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Sex me hard
 [12:15:05 AM] <sekeer> lollerskates
 [12:15:07 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> Hey lets do some FF
 [12:15:15 AM] <Caylor> root@localhost jason]# echo 'HAY MAN!' > /etc/motd [root@localhost jason]#
 [12:15:16 AM] <Caylor> sex
 [12:15:19 AM] <Caylor> ok pianka 1 sek
 [12:15:22 AM] <sekeer> now type login
 [12:15:22 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> k
 [12:15:28 AM] <Caylor> i h4v3 t0 pr00v3 m4h sk1llz
 [12:15:31 AM] <sekeer> then login
 [12:15:33 AM] <Caylor> .run cat /etc/motd
 [12:15:33 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> #5: HAY MAN!
 [12:15:34 AM] <PiaNKA[N1]> uh huh
 [12:15:36 AM] <Caylor> w00t?!
 [12:15:38 AM] <Caylor> WOOT)!?
 [12:15:38 AM] <H) >
 [12:15:39 AM] <sekeer> ok
 [12:15:39 AM] <Caylor> .xmms
 [12:15:39 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> #6:
 [12:15:41 AM] <sekeer> now...
 [12:15:42 AM] <Caylor> .play
 [12:15:43 AM] <Caylor> .xmms
 [12:15:44 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> #8:
 [12:15:44 AM] <sekeer> type login
 [12:15:47 AM] <sekeer> and login as a user.
 [12:15:50 AM] <Caylor> .getalias xmms
 [12:15:50 AM] <Caylor-XMMS> xmms => run cat /home/jason/.xmms/currenttrack
 [12:15:53 AM] <Caylor> .getalias play
 [12:15:53 AM]

[trust]

Wtf? OK, on the staff list it sayz "azzmaztr" is a staff member, right?

:::: ~16. eYe PHaRteD LoL

/* by azzmaztr */

yo this one time i farted.
it was really loud.
everyone heard it. it
smelled. i liked it.
nobody else liked it.
it smelled like shit
came out of my ass.
sometimes when i take
a shit it feels like
a dick is coming out my
ass. then i fart. and it
smells wonderful. my farts
usually smell like fresh
poop ready to eat. sometimes
poop is good soup. sometimes
its even better than a fruity
loop. why does nobody like my
farts? farts are the essence of
life. it shows that we are alive.
that we are biological beings.

my dog likes my farts. i fart on
his face. he likes it a lot.
he smells my butt often because
i fart a lot. i eat beans
everyday just so i can fart.
farting feels good. the pressure
coming out is pure ecstacy. sometimes
i put my hand to my butt.
then i fart. then i smell my hand.
it smells like freshly picked
spices. my hand smells like that
all day everyday. then i go and
shake peoples hands. little do
they know i farted on my hand. they
are such suckers.

before i eat my food i squat over
it and fart. like i said farts
smell like spices. this is better
than putting salt on my food.
sometimes when im taking a shit
i fart and the fart sounds echoey.
then cuz i love the smell of farts
i smell the inside of the toilet
bowl. mmmmmm pure bliss. nothing
is better. i am the best farter
in the world.

one of my favorite types of farts
are the wet ones. its almost like
ur shitting ur pants. its one of my
fantasies to fart and actually
shit my pants. i have not achieved
this yet. oh well. someday id like
to be even better at farting. perhaps
i could be so good that when i fart
i can control how it sounds. then i
could play my favorite songs with
my farts. i am a big fan of the
village people. i bet they can
fart pretty well too.

if i were gay i would have butt sex
and when the guy has his wee wee in
my ass i fart. then his wee wee will
be confronted with the best feeling ever.
the feeling of a fart on ur pee pee.
then after that he takes it out.
then i notice his wee wee is browner.
maybe the fart helped push poo poo
on his pee pee. i smelled his pee pee.
it smelled like spices and poo poo
mixed together. what a dream boat.

someday i will have a pipe that i
fart into. it saves my farts up in
a huge compartment and preserves
the smell. this way i can release
my farts through vents in the wall.
kind of like air conditioning. then
i can smell my farts all the time.
the aroma is fantastic.

last time i had sex with a girl
i scared her off. this is because
i farted on her pussy and tried
smelling it. she got grossed out
and ran away. why oh why are people
so grossed out by farts? farts rock.
i love farts.

what turns me on the most are other
peoples farts. i will literally
stick my nose in someone elses ass
just to smell their fart at the
optimum level.

i am the best farter in the world.
i will fart on ur computer. it will
be 0wn3d. thank you for reading
my paper on farting.

- azzmaztr (AKA Trust[e1])

[Newby]

Hahahaha, wow, the part on bsd is great.

[iago]

Then from the link to v4, lots of iago and xir bashing:

I see the word "iago" appear once, and it's nothing important (wow, a lot of thought went into that...).  Very disappointing, I was looking for "lots". 

[MyndFyre]

Wow if my name appeared in that list and someone put that much time into it I'd be honored.

[Blaze]

0DAY FURY ELIGIBILITY CHECK LIZT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ ] you have written at least 5 exploits in your life
[ ] you hate whitehatz
[ ] you are a blackhat
[ ] you have NEVER disclosed your 0day code to the public
[ ] you know what a buffer overflow is
[ ] you know what a heap overflow is
[ ] you know what an integer overflow is
[ ] you know what an off-by-one is
[ ] you know what a format string is
[ ] you know realize that everything is exploitable in some way, no matter what whitehats say
[ ] you know who Lance Spitzner is
[ ] you know how gay Lance Spitzner is
[ ] you know Lance Spitzner is whitehat scum
[ ] you know TCP/IP, UDP, and many other protocols like the back of your hand
[ ] you are good at coding in C
[ ] you can code in asm in many architectures well
[ ] you use some Unix OS (BSD, Solaris, Linux (NOT WHOPPIX), whatever)
[ ] you hate Whoppix, because it's a whitehat OS
[ ] pen-testers are gay
[ ] people who get paid to hack are gay
[ ] people who leech code are gay
[ ] you have a penis
[ ] you audit code, and never tell anyone what you're auditing (unless they are trusted++)
[ ] you are NOT afraid to commit crimes over the internet
[ ] you are not a bnet kiddie
[ ] you have been called an e-thug before
[ ] you are an e-thug
[ ] you are proud of being an e-thug
[ ] you hate people who call you an e-thug because they think they are better than you
[ ] you like to troll on irc
[ ] you like to flame on irc
[ ] you like to ruin the content of forums (posting stupid shit)
[ ] you troll on forums
[ ] you flame on forums
[ ] you hate forums
[ ] you never tell people you are a hacker on your well-known aliases
[ ] you never tell people you have 0dayz (THIS ZINE IS AN EXCEPTION--WE DO HAVE 0DAYZ!)
[ ] you lie to everyone on the inet
[ ] you hate counter-strike faggots
[ ] you hate people who wear 'got root?' shirts, and the like
[ ] you hate thinkgeek.com
[ ] you hate love
[ ] you love hate
[ ] you beat up people who say they are hackers in your school (uni or hs or w/e)
[ ] you hate AOL
[ ] you think speaking 1337 is funny, not gay
[ ] you know that elite people do speak 1337!
[ ] you are elite
[ ] president bush is gay
[ ] you feel sorry for my niggaz down in New Orleans that are hit from Hurricane Katrina
[ ] you like Tool
[ ] you like NiN
[ ] you like Pink Floyd
[ ] you like Biggie Smalls
[ ] you like 2pac
[ ] i'm holding up 5 fingers (you better get this one right)
[ ] you checked this box
[ ] you have unleashed your 0day fury before
[ ] you hate bsd (the person, not the OS)
[ ] you hate bnet
[ ] you know how to 0wn a VMS box on VAX
[ ] you know how to 0wn Alpha boxes
[ ] you know how to overwrite %i7 on a SPARC box
[ ] you can exploit a heap overflow vuln
[ ] you can exploit an off-by-one vuln
[ ] you can exploit a format string vuln
[ ] you can exploit a buffer overflow vuln
[ ] you can exploit an integer overflow vuln
[ ] you can exploit a random generation function, even if it's seeded with time of the day down to the miliseconds
[ ] you think MIT is gay
[ ] you realize that nothing is secure
[ ] security is an illusion
[ ] you dont rely completely on teachers to teach you things
[ ] you can 0wn any system, given time
[ ] you dont give up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
75
POINTS
~

0 = whitehat (DEFINITELY NOT ELIGIBLE-- gotfault/segfault/rotor)
5-10 = iago (whitehat - NOT ELIGIBLE)
10-15 = not eligible
15-20 = moron
20-25 = dumbass
25-30 = wannabe hacker
30-35 = script kiddie
35-40 = semi-scriptkid
40-45 = hacker
45-50 = blackhat
50-55 = elite blackhat
55-60 = supreme blaqhat
60-65 = supreme++ blaqhat
65-70 = supr3m3 3l1t3 bl4qh4t
75 = tw0p4ck/Bn3t 4x3 st4ff

~

irhaqr (12:53:36 PM): the only people who try to be are iago, quik, and tmp
irhaqr (12:53:41 PM): and they are whitehat losers

Blackhatz are the only people who have 0dayz. This is because stupid ass
cock sucking whitehatz disclose all their 0dayz, because they think they
have some 'moral' duty to help the security induztry. Fuck you, iago, you
bitch ass whitehat.

Thats more then 1 if my calculator is working correctly...

[Screenor]

Correcto, Blaze.

iago: ctrl+f is a wonderful thing. You know blackhats everywhere love you. ;|

[ZeroX]

1. What the hell is a blackHatz?

2. Why do they think iago and Quik fall under the title. "WhiteHats?"

3. Who would take all the time to make a macro it looks like shit.

4. Where did you find this?

[Screenor]

1. What the hell is a blackHatz?

2. Why do they think iago and Quik fall under the title. "WhiteHats?"

3. Who would take all the time to make a macro it looks like shit.

4. Where did you find this?

1. Google is your friend.

2. You should be more active hear and you'd know.

3. What the hell?

4. Why don't you read the first sentence in my post and you'll find out.

[trust]

Did everybody just forget to read my post or something? I want to know!

[Quik]

irhackr (12:53:36 PM): the only people who try to be are iago, quik, and tmp
irhackr (12:53:41 PM): and they are whitehat losers

You'd think c0n had better things to do with his time than continuously call me a "whitehat". Plus, I don't go on IRC. This isn't even correct, much less funny. (c0n getting all of his ideas from tehnetwork is about as cool as suicide.)

[iago]

Thats more then 1 if my calculator is working correctly...

I was only counting ones I saw in the first post at this thread, I wasn't about to waste my time actually going there. 

And yeah, c0n is probably mad because he's banned from here, and his supposed "skillz" aren't enough to get himself back.

[Blaze]

And yeah, c0n is probably mad because he's banned from here, and his supposed "skillz" aren't enough to get himself back.

No, yours skills are too great for him, which is why your a category on the White-Hat-O-Meterr © 2005 Me.

[deadly7]

Ha. c0n is a little douche.. nobody actually likes him [that matters in life]. He's arrogant, egotstical, stuck-up (them's synonymous, shut up), and just thinks he knows it all. Ooh wow, he uses linux, that makes his epenis grow to 1cm! (Still 3x the size of his normal, but that's for another thread).

[Joe]

Wow if my name appeared in that list and someone put that much time into it I'd be honored.

FOURTH PLACE - JOE[X86]

________
|__   __|_______
   | |     | _  |
_  | | [ ] | ___|
||_| |     ||___
|____|_____|____|
 _
|_|
 ______
| | __|
| |__ |
|_|___|

______ ____ ______      _
|  ___|    |    | |    | |
| |___| [] | [] | |__  |_|
|_____|____|____|____|  _
                       |_|
(not)

-
CRITIQUE: We put this one at 4th place, because we
thought it would be funny, since he's not cool!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOL.

I'm honored.

Bringing me to my second point. How old is this? I've been out of x86 for some good months now.