If you plan to be a priest or palidan (or any other religious character), I'd like it if you chose a God. A list of Gods can be found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_godsThe Old High Ones
These are beings far more powerful than gods (who are, from their point of view, only slightly more troublesome versions of human beings) who control the workings of the multiverse. There are eight of them, according to The Discworld Companion, and they are not worshipped on the Discworld, the general populace being unaware of their existence. They are only very ambiguously referred to in some of the Discworld religions and some have learned that eight 'entities' exist.
There is no single word that can effectively explain their role; which seems to be to observe in a dynamic way, in order for the observed events to actually be able to happen (think the old Zen koan "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear, does it make a sound?").
It might be simpler to say the universe exists because they believe in it.
Death and The Auditors of Reality are their servants, and it is likely that The Creator and Time are as well.
Only one has been mentioned in the books so far, Azrael. The other seven - if they have names - have not been revealed.
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Azrael
Azrael, also known as the Great Attractor and the Death of Universes, is apparently not a worshipped god on the Discworld, but exists nonetheless, is an entity of enormously unthinkable scope and size. While there are many deaths for different worlds (who are themselves divided into deaths for different creatures) in the Discworld novels, Azrael, as the Death of Universes, is their ruler. All other Deaths are aspects of him (a similar relationship as the Discworld Death has to the Death of Rats). He is in control of The Great Clock that measures the life of universes.
In the revised version of The Discworld Companion, Azrael is described as one of The Old High Ones.
Azrael clearly has a personality and a concept of mercy like his servant, the Death of the Discworld. He appears in an integral role (although not particularly often) in Reaper Man and overrules the Auditors' wishes allowing the Discworld Death to take out his own merciful bending of the rules for a personal case.
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Miscellaneous Djelibeybian gods
The Egypt-like country of Djelibeybi has a large pantheon of gods and goddesses, as outlined in Pyramids (most of which were likely to have been invented by the High Priest Dios). Parodoxically, many of them exclusively perform the same godly duties. They include:
* Bin - The Supreme God.
* Bunu - The goat-headed God of Goats.
* Cephnet.
* Chefet - The dog-headed God of Metalwork. He carries a hammer and is known as the maker of rings and the weaver of metal.
* Dhek - The Supreme God.
* Fon - The Supreme God.
* Fhez - The crocodile-headed God of the Lower Djel. An animosity is shared between him and Tzut.
* Gil - The Sun God.
* Hast - The Supreme God.
* Hat - The vulture-headed God of Unexpected Guests.
* Herpetine Triskeles - The sole ruler of the world of the dead.
* Jeht - The Boatman of the Solar Orb.
* Juf - The cobra-headed God of Papyrus.
* Ket - The ibis-headed God of Justice.
* Nept - The Night Sky Goddess whose blue naked body stretches over the heavens.
* Net - The Supreme God.
* Orexis-Nupt - The sole ruler of the world of the dead.
* Ptooie - The Supreme God.
* Put - The lion-headed God of Justice. He is often depicted holding a pair of scales.
* Sarduk - The Goddess of Caves. One of the older goddesses, whose female worshippers are known to "get up to no good" in sacred groves.
* Sessifet - The naked blue Goddess of the Afternoon, also appears in The Last Hero and Discworld Noir.
* Set - The Supreme God.
* Silar - The catfish-headed God who alone rules the world of the dead.
* Sot - The Supreme God.
* Syncope - The sole ruler of the world of the dead.
* Scrab - A giant dung beetle known as the Pusher of the Ball of the Sun.
* Teg - The easily amused horse-headed God of Agriculture.
* Thrrp - The Charioteer of the Sun.
* Tzut - The snake-headed God of the Upper Djel. An animosity is shared between him and Fhez.
* Vut - The bad smelling, 70 foot tall, dog-headed God of the Evening.
* Yay - Whose eye is the sun, toiling across the sky in his endless search for his toenails.
* The Djelibeybians also recognize Blind Io as the Supreme God.
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Miscellaneous troll gods
* Chondrodite - Troll god of love. Causes trolls to fall in love by hitting them on the head with a rock. Mentioned in Moving Pictures.
* Gigalith - Bestows wisdom on trolls by hitting them on the head with a rock. Mentioned in Moving Pictures.
* Monolith - Mythic hero who first wrested the secret of rocks from the gods (this apparently being that if you pick up a rock, you can hit someone on the head with it). Mentioned in Moving Pictures.
* Silicarous - Bestows good fortune on trolls by hitting them on the head with a rock. Mentioned in Moving Pictures.
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Alohura
The lightning goddess of the beTrobi people. Mentioned in The Colour of Magic.
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Aniger
Aniger is a minor goddess of squashed animals. She is a relatively recent addition to the Discworld pantheon, appearing only after some developments relating to the speed of carts and quality of roads. Mentioned in The Last Hero.
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Anoia
The minor goddess of Things That Stick in Drawers, Anoia is praised by rattling a drawer and crying "How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it? Who bought this? Do we ever use it?". She also eats corkscrews. The Maccalariat family of Ankh-Morpork have been Anoians for five generations. She is not, strangely, part of the number of gods praised at the Temple of Small Gods. Mentioned in Going Postal. Thud! refers to a painting of Anoia Rising From The Cutlery (probably a parody of Titian's Venus Rising From The Sea).
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Astfgl
Astfgl is a Demon Lord, appearing in Eric. At the start of the book he has been made King of Hell, and his modern, go-ahead attitude is driving the other demons to distraction. By the end, thanks to the machinations of his more old-fashioned rival Vassenego, he has been "promoted" to Life President of Hell, a job that consists of writing "policy statements" while Vassenego rules in his stead.
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Astoria
The Ephebian Goddess of Love, held in extremely low regard by the god Om and sister to the goddess Patina. She bribed Rhome of Tsort to steal and hide the Golden Falchion, in return she gave Elenor of Tsort to Rhome (this story is a parody of the beginning of the Trojan War; the Golden Falchion is the Golden Apple, Elenor of Tsort is Helen of Troy, and Rhome is Paris (they are both names of European cities)). Mentioned in Small Gods and Discworld Noir.
Her name is a reference to the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel.
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The Auditors of Reality
The Auditors of Reality are supernatural entities and celestial bureaucrats. They make sure that gravity works, file the appropriate paperwork for each chemical reaction, and so forth. The Auditors hate life, because it's messy and unpredictable, which makes them fall behind on their paperwork; they much prefer barren balls of rock orbiting stars in neat, easily predictable elliptical paths. They really hate humans and other sentient beings, who are much more messy and unpredictable than other living things.
The Auditors are not gods, at least not in the Discworld sense. Gods on the Disc derive their existence from human belief, something that the Auditors find inherently repulsive. Belief and imagination are the ultimate mess: They shape and reform the physical world in almost infinitely varied and complex ways. Where the Auditors see a fragment of carbonaceous chondrite heated by the friction of atmospheric entry, imagination sees a falling star. Where the Auditors see a random cleft in granite, imagination sees a dark cave haunted by monsters. To the Auditors, this is infuriating; after all, how can one catalogue or quantify a dragon, a basilisk, poetry or Justice? The Auditors existed long before humans and would be quite happy to exist without them.
Fortunately for humanity and every other living thing, the Auditors can't simply wipe out life, because that's against the Rules; the Auditors can't break the Rules because, in a certain sense, they are the Rules. Unfortunately, a loophole exists in the Rules which allows the Auditors to influence humans into doing what they cannot do directly; in several of the Discworld novels, the Auditors hire humans to perform tasks that will make the world less "messy", paying them with the gold they created out of thin air using their abilities to manipulate reality.
Being personifications of a concept, the Auditors have no fixed shape. When they manifest in the world, however, they almost always appear as empty grey cowled robes, an appearance which conveys drabness and dullness rather than danger.
The Auditors have no discerning characteristics among themselves and function as a collective; when one speaks, it speaks for all of them, and each Auditor works uniformly with countless numbers of other Auditors. When discussing matters and making choices they work in groups of three. One to agree, one to disagree and one to mediate the two, thus covering all angles of possible debate to find the best solution. In the rare cases when an Auditor appears to develop an individual personality (such as using a personal pronoun to refer to itself or experiencing an emotion) it spontaneously ceases to exist. This happens because, as far as the Auditors are concerned, to have a personality is to be a living being with a beginning and an end, the intervening time between which seems infinitely small to entities who have experienced eternity. This does not seem to have any impact on the rest of the Auditors except maybe as an example to be avoided, because another Auditor immediately takes the place of its vapourised colleague.
Interestingly, the primary opponent of the Auditors' plans for eliminating life is Death. Death does not see himself as the enemy of life, but rather an integral part of it, giving rest to the old and weary, and ensuring that the world doesn't become completely stuffed with life. He has also, over the millennia of performing his function, developed a certain fondness for the humans he ushers into the world beyond. This conflict is all the more fascinating because Pratchett has hinted (in The Discworld Companion) that Death and the Auditors may be related beings. The Auditors are the executive arm of the Old High Ones, the eight beings who create and shape the universe. Death ultimately answers to the eighth of the Old High Ones; Azrael, the death of universes.
In Reaper Man, The Auditors are shown not to always be acting in The Old High Ones' best interests and appear to have a large degree of autonomy.
The animosity between Death and the Auditors is possibly a reference to Benjamin Franklin's famous maxim, "In life, only two things are certian, death and taxes."
The Auditors of Reality have appeared in the Discworld novels Reaper Man, Hogfather, Thief of Time and The Science of Discworld III: Darwin's Watch.
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Bast
Bast is the Djelibeybian cat-headed God of Things Left on the Doorstep or Half-digested Under the Bed. The name is shared with the historical Egyptian cat-goddess more typically known as Bast, but Discworld's Bast is a male while real-world Egyptian Bast is a female. Terry Pratchett has also mentioned Bast with regard to his theory of cat-naming in The Unadulterated Cat; that a cat's name is for shouting, and should be short, sharp and sound somewhat like invective.
He is mentioned in Pyramids and appears in The Last Hero.
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Bel-Shamharoth
Bel-Shamharoth is also known as the "Soul-Eater," the "Soul-Render," or the "Sender of Eight." He is completely lacking in vitality so therefore cannot even be considered Evil. He is the opposite of Good and Evil. He is likely one of the creatures of the Dungeon Dimensions who has survived in our world. The inner dimensions of his eight-sided temple disobey a fairly basic rule of architecture by being bigger on the inside than on the outside, like many other Discworld buildings. It is quite disgusting, full of tunnels covered with unpleasant carvings and disjointed skeletons, and lit by a violet light almost black. The eight-sided crystals set at intervals shed a rather unpleasant glow that does not light the room, rather emphasizing the darkness. The floor is covered with eight-sided tiles (impossible with regular octagons, which do not tessellate, but possible for some irregular eight-sided figures, and hyperbolic octagons) and the walls slope to create eight-sided corridors. Even the stones can sometimes be seen to have eight sides. All routes lead to the centre, where an intense violet light illuminates a wide room with eight walls and eight passages. In the room, there is a low, eight-sided altar and a huge stone slab, also eight-sided, and slightly tilted. Under that is a black tentacled creature with an enormous eye and thousands of suckers and tentacles and mandibles: Bel-Shamharoth.
The temple is long since abandoned, worship of the Sender of Eight being a decidedly short term prospect. These days he is mostly remembered in the name of the Young Men's Reformed Cultists of the Ichor God Bel-Shamharoth Association. His likeness is etched on the cover of the Octavo.
Terry Pratchett is well known for his references to, and parodies of the works of other authors, and indeed Bel-Shamaroth is one such- he bears many similarities to Cthulhu of H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.
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Bibulous
The God of Wine and Things on Sticks. He appears as a large, overly-merry man in a toga. In Tsort he is also known as Smimto, and Tuvelpit in Ephebe. He never gets a hangover (those are part of Bilious' portfolio), but he does get the unpleasant side-effects when Bilious takes a hangover cure. The effects of this link, should either ever drink time-reversed alcohol such as vul-nut wine, is undiscovered.
He appears in Hogfather, The Last Hero, and is mentioned (under his other identities) in Small Gods.
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Bilious
The "Oh God of hangovers". His reason for being is to feel the after-effects of drinking, instead of the god Bibulous (the Discworld's Bacchus). He is one of the characters who appears during the events of Hogfather, due to there being a lot of unused belief floating around.
Thanks to the wizards of the Unseen University Bilious' symptoms are reversed for a time and he is able to help Susan on her quest (and make Bibulous feel thoroughly miserable by means of a few select alcoholic beverages). While most of the beings created in Hogfather disappeared at the end, it is possible he remained because of the belief that Violet (a tooth fairy) had in him, in which case he may have begun a relationship with her, and started a career as a temp-worker for gods that want a holiday.
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Blind Io
Blind Io is the current king of the gods. Io means "I see", and in nature he is seemingly an amalgam of Odin and Zeus, with elements of Thor — seen primarily in his use of a number of different hammers (seventy, actually, as detailed by Om in Small Gods). He is completely blind in the traditional sense but instead has countless eyes, which seem to have a mind of their own, orbiting his head. He was eventually compelled to get rid of his raven messengers because of their species' instinctual desire for devouring eyeballs. He lives in Dunmanifestin where he and the other gods play games with the lives of mortals.
Blind Io is a thunder god. Actually, Io is the only thunder god on the Disc. He goes by many names and appearances to make sure he keeps the optimal amount of followers. This is not really unfair because all the other gods use the same trick.
He also has an apparent monopoly on the natural phenomenon of thunder, as detailed by Om in Small Gods, who stated that lightning was allowed for common use by all deities but thunder was strictly regulated.
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C'hulagen
One of the hideous and old Dark Gods of the Necrotelecomnicon. Never stated, but like Bel-Shamharoth, it's likely to be a creature originating from the Dungeon Dimensions which has managed to survive in this reality. Mentioned in Equal Rites. The name is likely a portmanteau of Cthulhu and hooligan.
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Ceno
A "rather liberal" god in the opinion of Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets, "not big on commandments". His followers died out fighting some of the most gruesome wars in the history of the Unnamed Continent. An excerpt from the Cenotine "Book of Truth" was the Chem of the golem Dorfl, until Carrot Ironfoundersson purchased him and set him free by replacing it with the receipt of the purchase.
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Cephut
The Djelibeybian God of Cutlery. At the wedding of Peloria and Theta, Cephut started an argument with Patina over the Golden Falchion. Mentioned in Pyramids and Discworld Noir.
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The Creator
The Discworld Creator appears in Eric. He is a little rat-faced man with a put-upon voice made for complaining with, who created the Discworld while the main universe was being built, and it was obviously on a budget. It is clear that World Creation is purely a mechanical function and doesn't call for godlike attributes.
He was not responsible for creating of the rest of the Universe, and is somewhat disparaging of it, describing the Big Bang as "showy". After creating the Discworld, he left behind his personal grimore, the Octavo. This was, apparently, typical absent-mindedness; he says he once created a world and completely forgot the fingles. No-one noticed, because they evolved there and didn't know there should be fingles, but they could tell there was something missing somewhere, and it caused them deep psychological problems.
Two other Creators are also introduced in Pratchett's The Last Continent. One is an old aborigine man with a sack, who draws his designs out carefully and is busy creating the continent of XXXX (which resembles Australia). The other, in the same novel, is the God of Evolution, detailed below.
Rincewind is believed to have had a hand in creating humans on the Discworld, as described in The Last Continent, on one of his trips back in time he dropped a prawn sandwich into a rockpool, and he believes that this may have kick started evolution, and isn't happy about it. This actually seems to happen in Eric, but the sandwich is of a different type (egg and cress).
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Czol
The goddess Czol was an ancient goddess of Thut before that land sank under the sea some 9,000 years ago. One does not ask about her. Mentioned in Going Postal.
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Errata
The Goddess of Misunderstandings. This little known goddess was the cause of the Tsortean Wars, not, as most people believe, Elenor. Understandably not the most liked goddess, Errata wasn't invited to many weddings, one of which was Peloria and Theta's. She was not pleased, and so devised a plan for revenge. She had Neoldian forge a golden falchion with "For the Strongest" engraved on it. This caused a fight between almost 80 different war gods. Luckily Neoldian had also engraved "Batteries Not Included" on the falchion, which fortunately for Errata, caused an argument between Patina, who thought the sword was a subtly observed metaphor for the hopelessness of existence, and Cephut, who thought it was a big knife. In the end it became so heated that Astoria bribed Rhome of Tsort to steal and hide the falchion just to shut her sister up. In return, Astoria gave Elenor to Rhome and the resulting extra-marital confusion blew up into the Tsortean Wars. The whole story is a parody of the Trojan War. Mentioned in Discworld Noir.
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Fate
One of the Discworld's most implacable, and difficult to understand gods. He looks like a pleasant, middle-aged man, but his eyes are starry voids. It is possible (although difficult) to bargain with him but proverbially impossible to cheat him, although it has been done at least once. He is known to play games against The Lady using mortals as pawns, and always plays to win. The Temple of Fate is situated in the Gods' Quarter, Ankh-Morpork. It's a small, heavy, leaden temple, where hollow-eyed and gaunt worshippers meet on dark nights for predestined and fairly pointless rites.
He appears in The Colour of Magic, Mort, Interesting Times and The Last Hero.
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Fedecks
Fedecks is the Messenger of the Gods, the Ephebian version of Hermes. His name is a pun on FedEx. There was previously a golden statue in the Ankh-Morpork Post Office which may have portayed him. If so, he appears as a radiant figure in a winged hat, winged sandals and a winged fig leaf. He is mentioned in Small Gods and Discworld Noir, and the statue appears in Going Postal.
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Flatulus
The Ephebian God of the Winds. He is mentioned in Small Gods and Discworld Noir, and appears in The Last Hero.
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Foorgol
The Ephebian God of Avalanches. Mentioned in Small Gods.
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Glipzo
The Howondalandish tribe of this Goddess believed that their ancestors resided in the Moon. After a signal from their ancestors (an unusually large flare from the Moon) they were urged to kill anyone who didn't believe in Glipzo. Three years later the tribe was destroyed by a rock falling out of the sky, as a result of a star exploding a billion years before. Mentioned in The Last Hero.
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God of Evolution
The paradoxical God of Evolution appears briefly in The Last Continent, where he is found 'sculpting' animals. Since he hasn't figured out reproduction yet, he makes every animal unique.
Although no-one believes in the God of Evolution, he survives thanks to his own strong belief. He does not believe in himself, because he is an atheist, but he believes in what he does. During events detailed in The Last Continent, he briefly takes on Ponder Stibbons as an apprentice.
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Herne the Hunted
The God of Hunted Animals. Herne appears as a small figure with floppy rabbit ears, small horns and a good turn of speed. He has the unfortunate job of being the constantly terrified and apprehensive god of all small furry creatures whose destiny it is to end their lives as a brief, crunchy squeak. He is a parody of Herne the Hunter and is mentioned in Wyrd Sisters and appears in Lords and Ladies.
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Hoki the Jokester
A nature god usually found haunting the deep woods of the Ramtops, in which he manifests himself as an oak tree or a flute playing half-man, half-goat figure. Thought of by many gods and people alike as a bloody nuisance and a bad practical joker, he was eventually banished from Dunmanifestin for pulling the old exploding mistletoe joke on Blind Io. Hoki parodies various characteristics of Loki and Pan, and is mentioned in Mort, Equal Rites and The Last Hero.
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Hyperopia
The Goddess of Shoes. She has a small following that gathers in the Temple of Small Gods and worships the Sacred Lace of Hyperopia. Mentioned in Reaper Man and Discworld Noir. Named after the technical term for long-sightedness.
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Ikebana
The Goddess of Topiary, worshipped by the Militant Servitors of Ikebana. Mentioned in Discworld Noir.
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The Insider
One of the hideous and old Dark Gods of the Necrotelicomnicon. Never stated, but it's likely to be a creature originating from the Dungeon Dimensions which has managed to survive in this reality. Mentioned in Equal Rites. A parody of the H.P. Lovecraft short story "The Outsider."
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Jimi
The god of beggars. The Ankh-Morpork Beggars' Guild has a statue of him. Mentioned in Men at Arms.
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Khefin
The Djelibeybian Two-Faced God of Gateways, perhaps inspired by Janus. The last known High Priest of Khefin was the bald-headed Hoot Koomi, who served during the Year of the Cobra. Mentioned in Pyramids.
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The Lady
The Goddess Who Must Not Be Named. She is constantly opposed to Fate, and she is just as difficult to understand, although where he is implacable — she is capricious. Since everyone believes in her, she does not need to be worshipped, and would regard such a thing as taking her for granted. Her favour instantly disappears if she believes someone is relying on her, or calls her by name (she is, of course, Lady Luck). The only temple ever built in her honor, by some members of the Guild of Gamblers, was struck down by a series of unfortunate events.
When playing games with mortals, The Lady never sacrifices a pawn, and doesn't play to win, but rather plays not to lose. Rincewind, who refuses to believe his continued survival against the odds is anything other than coincidence, is one of her favorites.
Her appearance is hard to determine. After witnessing her in person, Rincewind and Twoflower were not able to agree upon what she had looked like, other than that she "appeared to be beautiful" and had green eyes. Her eyes are her defining feature: no Discworld God can change the nature of their own eyes, and hers are pure green, without iris or pupil.
The Lady appears in The Colour of Magic, Interesting Times and The Last Hero.
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Lamentatio
The Goddess of Interminable Opera. She is one of the many gods and goddesses recognised in the Temple of Small Gods. Mentioned in Discworld Noir.
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Libertina
The Goddess of the Sea, Apple Pie, Certain Types of Ice Cream and Short Lengths of String. Her name and appearance suggest the Statue of Liberty. She appears in The Last Hero and she may or may not be the same person as the Sea Queen, who appears in Small Gods.
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Monolith
A troll religious figure of dubious position. A parody of Prometheus, he stole the secret of rocks from the gods (the secret being that you can hit someone with one). Even though the famous human Fingers-Mazda (Thief of Fire) is usually credited with being the Discs first thief, Monolith probably predates him considerably (Troll gods were hitting one another with clubs ten thousand years before we'd even stopped trying to eat rocks ~Samuel Vimes, Men at Arms). In Feet of Clay, however, statues of Monolith are referred to as "troll religious statues", indicating that he is also some kind of demigod or similar.
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Moon Goddess
This Druidic Goddess fancies drinking mead from a silver bowl in the company of young virgins, among other things. The Druids of Skund Forest celebrate the Rebirth of the Moon (a ceremony dating back thousands of years) by sacrificing a young virgin to the Moon Goddess. The virgin, dressed in a ceremonial white robe and golden torc, is lead by a precession of trumpets and percussion instruments to a large and flat stone altar, situated in the centre of a circle of standing stones. Where she is summarily sacrificed, using a knife. Mentioned in The Light Fantastic.
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Neoldian
The Blacksmith of the Gods. He forged the Golden Falchion and engraved it with the words "For the Strongest - Lagunculae Leydianae Non Accedunt" (Batteries Not Included). He also repaired Leonard of Quirm's 'Kite', enabling it to return safely back to Ankh-Morpork. A parody of Hephaestus. He is mentioned in Discworld Noir and appears (but is not named) in The Last Hero.
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Nesh
The Djelibeybian Goddess of the Sun and blower of the spinning blue soap bubble which is the sky. The secret rituals of the Smoking Mirror hold that the sun was in fact merely a round hole in the soap bubble which opened into the fiery real world beyond, and that the stars were the holes that the rain came through. Mentioned in Pyramids.
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Nuggan
Nuggan is the locally worshipped monotheistic and omnipotent God of Borogravia, but elsewhere he is known as the God of Paperclips, Correct Things in the Right Place in Small Desk Stationery Sets, and Unnecessary Paperwork. He usually sports a fussy little moustache.
His holy writ is the only known Living Testament, into which more material is, if not magically, then religiously added on a regular basis. All believers regularly add pages to the clip-binder Appendices, which then eventually fill with more commandments, usually Abominations unto Nuggan. By the time of Monstrous Regiment, his commandments were becoming rather nonsensical — among his ever-growing list of Abominations were cats, the colour blue, Dwarfs, oysters, mushrooms, chocolate, garlic, babies, cheese, the smell of beets, and ears. He is also very opposed to the clacks system, as it intereferes with the prayers of the faithful.
His existence is the basis for Monstrous Regiment and he appears in The Last Hero. He is now thought to be either insane or dead.
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Offler
Offler is a crocodile god originating from Klatch and is worshipped in most hot lands with great rivers, and even other parts of the Discworld where the people have never even seen any crocodiles. He might be inspired by the Ancient Egyptian crocodile god Sobek. Offler speaks with a lisp because of his crocodile mouth which is not ideal for human language.
His followers are called Offlians, and the first month of the Agricultural year, Offle, is also named after him.
The traditional sacrifice to Offler when praying is composed mainly of sausages, which are fried, allowing the "true sausagidity" to ascend to Offler by means of smell, while the clergy eat the "earthly shell" of the sausages.
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Om
Om is an omnipotent, omnipresent (only within the boundaries of the Omnian church) god in the country of Omnia. His temple resides in Kom, presumably the capital, and his followers are known as Omnians.
Unlike the major Discworld gods, who exist as a pantheon, Om is a monotheistic deity whose followers insist that he is the one and only true God. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Omnians also insist that the world is round.
Omnianism used to be an intolerant religion, not because Om was an intolerant god, but because he was largely an indifferent one. After spending some time trapped in the shape of a tortoise his perspective was changed, and he allowed Brutha to turn Omnianism into one of the Discworld's more tolerant religions, although they still insist Om is the only real god (Although there is some conflict here – in the book Jingo, Constable "Washpot" Visit notes that "There's a god on every side." This may be a comment on every country's belief that God is on their side, but it's fairly wordly and therefore uncharacteristic comment for Washpot).
Visit's full name is 'Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets'; many modern Omnians are given similar names, such as 'Smite-The-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments'. This in contrast to older Omnians, who were given bloodier names.
The Omnian Quisition (consisting of the Inquisition and the Exquisition) uses the Torquus Simiae Maleficarum ("The Monkey Wrench of Witches"; a reference to the real world Malleus Maleficarum or "Hammer of the Witches") to identify witches. The Book of Om says that witches shall not be allowed to live, although this may be a typo since it also says that they may be caught in traps of treacle. This has led some to believe the word may in fact be cockroaches. This is a parody of the controversy surrounding the translation of verse 22:17 in the book of Exodus. The verse is rendered as "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" in the KJV; but the word translated as "witch" is sometimes claimed to actually mean "poisoner".
Omnianism as a whole is Pratchett's parody of the less admirable aspects of Christianity: In earlier times, the Inquisition, and latterly intrusive doorstep evangelism.
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Orm
The Great God of the Strict Authorized Ormits. He can usually be found residing in one of the Nether Hells. As of the Year of the Cobra there are only two known worshippers left; a boy (Arthur Loudorum) and his mother. The correct worshipping of Orm seems to consist of sacrificing a goat within a double circle with occult runes, a sprig of herbs and a rope of skulls. It is said that, as a punishement for not worshipping him, Orm comes in the night, winds out your entrails on a stick and sucks out your eyeballs. Mentioned in Pyramids.
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Patina
The Ephebian Goddess of Wisdom, a portmanteau of Pallas and Athena, as well as a play on the word patina. She is shown holding a penguin (this is due to an incompetent sculptor getting a statue wrong), a parody of Athena's owl. She is mentioned in Small Gods, appears in The Last Hero and is the sister of Astoria.
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Petulia
The Ephebian Goddess of "negotiable affection," worshipped by ladies of the night. Mentioned in Small Gods.
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P'tang P'tang
The god of a small primitive island tribe with only 51 worshippers. P'tang P'tang looks like a newt and isn't that smart. Appears in Small Gods.
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Quezovercoatl
While being basically a demon of relatively low rank, Quezovercoatl (also known as The Feathered Boa), was the god of Human Sacrifices in the Tezuman Empire's state religion. He appears in Eric and is described as half-man, half-chicken, half-jaguar, half-serpent, half-scorpion and half-mad (a total of three homicidal maniacs). Because his physical form was some six inches tall in real life, he had relied on appearing in visions to guide his followers. Conversion was probably sped by the bloodthirsty nature of his religion and the fact that the Tezumen were at the time worshipping a stick. Eventually he was forced into appearing physically by Astfgl, whereupon he was trampled by The Luggage. After some time spent worshipping the Luggage, to no avail, the Tezumen finally killed off their priests and settled for atheism. His name is pun between the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl and the word "overcoat".
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Reg
The God of Club Musicians. Mentioned in Soul Music.
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Seven-Handed Sek
Possibly a parody of Set. There is a charity school run by the Spiteful Sisters of Seven Handed Sek in Ankh-Morpork.
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Skelde
In the depth of Skund Forest he is referred to as the Spirit of the Smoke. Local tribesmen believe you must first see Skelde before you can become a Sorceror. Mentioned in The Light Fantastic.
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Sweevo
The God of Cut Timber who prohibited the practice of panupanitoplasty among his followers, even though in actuality very few of his followers knew what panupanitoplasty was (he didn't have a clue, either, but did it because it worried his worshippers). A minor deity mentioned in several novels, including The Last Hero.
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Tak
The creator god of the dwarfs. The dwarvish creation myth states that Tak first "wrote himself", then "wrote the Laws," then "wrote the World", then wrote a cave and a geode. The geode hatched and from it emerged two brothers. One went into the cave and became a dwarf, the other left the cave and became a man. Here earlier forms of the myth differ from later forms; in the earlier version, Tak notices that the geode is striving to become alive, and as reward for the service it had given, makes it into the first troll; in a later, reedited version, the geode comes alive of its own accord and was left to wander the world without purpose.
Though the dwarfs believe in Tak, they don't worship him; he left as soon as he created the world and doesn't demand eternal loyalty or followers. Tak is first mentioned in Thud!.
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Time
Not a god, but, like Death, an anthropomorphic personification of an eternal process. Originally a dark-haired woman who resided in a palace of glass, she had an affair with the founder of the History Monks, Wen the Eternally Suprised, which led to the birth of two sons, or, more accurately, two different versions of the same son. One, Lobsang Ludd, eventually became a History Monk himself under the tutalage of Lu-Tze; the other, Jeremy Clockson, became a brilliant if socially malajusted clockmaker. The Auditors eventually fooled Jeremy into constructing a truly accurate clock, which halted the passage of time. Able to move outside of time, both "brothers" eventually met and fused, becoming the new personification of Time, allowing history to recommence from where it had left off, and their mother to go on a long honeymoon with Wen.
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Topaxi
A spirit known to the shamans of Skund Forest as Topaxci; the God of the Red Mushroom. Elsewhere he is known as Topaxi; the God of Certain Mushrooms, Great Ideas that you Forgot to Write Down and Will Never Remember Again, and of People who Tell Other People that 'Dog' is 'God' Spelt Backwards and Think that this is in Some Way Revelatory.
He is mentioned in The Light Fantastic and appears in The Last Hero.
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Ukli
The God of a Howondalandish tribe which wiped out the nearby N'tuitif tribe at his signal (an unusually large flare from the Moon). Shortly after, this tribe was also wiped out by another tribe who worshipped the goddess Glipzo. Mentioned in The Last Hero.
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Umcherrel
In the depth of Skund Forest he is referred to as the Soul of the Forest. Local tribesmen believe you must first see Umcherrel before you can become a Spirit Master. Mentioned in The Light Fantastic.
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Ur-Gilash
Thousands of years ago this god was a major competitor against Om. Now completely forgotten by humans, only Om recalls the existence of Ur-Gilash. Now a Small God, which is the fate of all gods who lose their believers, Om may have encountered him while crossing the desert with Brutha. Om and Brutha came across a small god who knew genuine god-speech, this is such a rarity that given the location, Om reasoned that it was once Ur-Gilash himself. Mentioned in Small Gods.
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Urika
The Goddess of Snow, Saunas and Theatrical Performances for Fewer than 120 People. Her name is probably a parody of the word Eureka, and the Swedish celebrity Ulrika Jonsson. She appears in The Last Hero.
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Vometia
The ancient Ankh-Morporkian goddess of being sick. "To make an offering to Vometia..." means exactly what you think it does. Mentioned in The Last Hero.
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What
This Djelibeybian Sky Goddess was believed to eat the sun every evening, but save and plant one pip in time to grow a fresh sun for the next day. Mentioned in Pyramids.
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Wilf
Featured in The Discworld Almanack, Wilf is the god of astrology. Few people believe in him or worship him any more, so, in an attempt to keep belief in astrology going, he personally writes the horoscopes for the Almanack every year.
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Zephyrus
The God of Slight Breezes. Mentioned in The Colour of Magic and Discworld Noir.
Your character's personality and spells are based around your choice of God, so make it good.
Also note that I may decide to use Gods in some adventures, like an Ancient Temple of Vometia. (The God of Being Sick)
