Author Topic: Divorce ;[  (Read 8186 times)

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Offline TeHFoOoL

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Divorce ;[
« on: February 14, 2006, 12:23:37 am »
A topic that grows in popularity every day, it seems.

For the first ten to eleven years of my life, I always saw divorce as something that was completely alien and automatically signified incompetence in both the ex-husband and ex-wife, and something that would never-ever happen to my parents.

Well, I was wrong. ;o

It came up with a tone of routine discussion, which scares me. My parents just idley told me about it.. Shouldn't it be taken more seriously, or are they just trying to shield us from the many thoughts and worries that were to pass?

I thought I know, but I guess I don't. I'm sixteen, never been married, never had any children, and going through periods where my opinions are not permanent.

I'd seen it coming for a while, but yet it came as a lot more unsettling than I had expected it to be. Although I truly hate my dad, and going through this divorce will essentially take him partially out of my life, knowing that my parents - the same parents who I thought loved each other eternally - are now splitting up does not make me proud.

Could just be me, but I highly disagree with divorce.

I'm not saying to outlaw it or anything, but.. If you don't see yourself meshing perfectly with the person you're going to marry, please wait it out. It will be worth it in the end. Your children won't be deprived of a parent and you'll be able to hold a level of respect for yourself that says, " Hey, of the all the people that get married, 50% get divorces, and I was able to get through it without resorting to separation. "

Sure, things pop up that may warrant a divorce.. But I think if you really think about why you get married and who you're going to marry, the rate of divorces will drop. If you're a player, go ahead and fuck the living daylight out of someone, but don't marry. Marriage is something that will bind two people's love together for the rest of their lives, in theory. But now there's a divorce option which serves as the 'cancel button'. Why get married then? For the experience?

Which brings up another topic: Gay marriage. Don't support it. I guess marriage seems to be derived from some sort of tradition, and as the tradition goes a male marries a female. Am I against homosexuality? Partially, but that has nothing to do with it. I might be contradicting myself when I say that : Marriage is something that binds two people's love together for eternity, and then: Gay people can't be married. I'm sure two chicks or two dudes could love each other a lot. But keep it private, as the majority of the public won't accept it yet. The male and female were meant for each other, and the only, but very powerful evidence, is sex. Life is born through the male and female, not male and male or female through female.

But technology is growing, and artificial insemination is already a growing science. Who knows what conclusions can be drawn when technology is a factor?


I had to let it out somewhere, so thanks to all who will listen to another teenager's feelings.

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline Newby

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2006, 12:24:22 am »
I support divorce. If your parents aren't happy, let 'em split up. Why should they be forced to be together if they can't stand each other?

You can't predict everything. Saying "forever" is like "never say never".
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline TeHFoOoL

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2006, 12:27:35 am »
I support divorce. If your parents aren't happy, let 'em split up. Why should they be forced to be together if they can't stand each other?

You can't predict everything. Saying "forever" is like "never say never".

Yeah, but all couples should be capable of looking into the future enough so they can see any major potential problems. I'll repeat myself: I'm not saying to outlaw divorce, but hopefully society will frown upon it rather than treat it with an aire of nonchalance.

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline Newby

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2006, 12:29:13 am »
It is frowned upon. I can safely say that if I dated a chick who brought up the fact that she'd been divorced 3 times (my parents both can say this now, owned) I'd probably run for the hills.

You can't really look into the future. You can just plan for situations that could arise. And who knows if situations that you didn't think of would arise and ones that you planned for never do?
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline TeHFoOoL

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2006, 12:32:19 am »
God damn I keep getting my points across the wrong way.

My parents are more mature than I am, fo sho. I'm ready for the divorce, but I don't support them in general.

And I'm sure that if someone had a divorce 20 years ago it'd be a lot worse than one now.

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline Sidoh

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2006, 12:35:31 am »
Yeah, but all couples should be capable of looking into the future enough so they can see any major potential problems. I'll repeat myself: I'm not saying to outlaw divorce, but hopefully society will frown upon it rather than treat it with an aire of nonchalance.

As society grows out of the iron-clad grasp of religion, things like this become problimatic at a higher rate.  Hell, a few hundred years ago, pre mairatal sex was considered taboo.  It's just the way society has shifted.

Since there is little punishment for divorce (unless you affiliate yourself with the Catholic Church or some other religion that frowns upon it), there's little hesitation if either party in a mariage sees siginificant reason to separate.  I don't think divorce is right, either.  I do believe it has its place, though...

I wish you and your parents the best of luck.

Offline TeHFoOoL

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2006, 12:38:18 am »

Word
..
And thanks.

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline JTN Designer

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2006, 12:21:47 pm »
Heh, living with a woman is a bit tricky. One of the biggest relationship killers...is money. I know with Ruthie and myself, it comes up quite a bit, but basically as long as I pull my end of the weight and keep money in our checking account, all is fine.


Offline Eric

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2006, 12:36:36 pm »
If you're in an unhealthy relationship and all attempts to repair it fail then the only option is to leave.  Chances are if it does not end, things will only continue to get worse for everyone involved: family, friends and ofcourse, the couple themselves.  Divorce is not wrong.  It's far from it, however as mentioned society does influence the general idea of marriage and usually for the worse.  Society once considered divorce to be an unholy sin, whereas some still continue to feel the same, it's much more common now, so much so that it's become a household word.  Perhaps one of these days we'll have a healthy mix of each so that people better learn how to make more responsible choices before they become a serious problem such as the one you're in now.  It's far from the end of the world, but it is difficult and you will get through it.

Offline AntiVirus

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2006, 02:00:47 pm »
I agree with you 100% TeHFooL.. I too have gone through a divorce, and it has changed my life drastically, and for the worse.  I hope you don't go through what I have gone through and I hope that you and your parents work things out.

Best Wishes


P.S.
Newby, have you gone through a divorce?
The once grove of splendor,
Aforetime crowned by lilac and lily,
Lay now forevermore slender;
And all winds that liven
Silhouette a lone existence;
A leafless oak grasping at eternity.


"They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe, but I rather kill myself then turn into their slave."
- The Rasmus

Offline GameSnake

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2006, 06:40:48 pm »
God damn I keep getting my points across the wrong way.

My parents are more mature than I am, fo sho. I'm ready for the divorce, but I don't support them in general.

And I'm sure that if someone had a divorce 20 years ago it'd be a lot worse than one now.
I know the feeling.
Well i'm sorry man, I have been thru 2 divorces before being 7 years old but thankfully my current parents have been together for 10 years now. I can't say I know what your going through but I hope everything works out for you guys by this divorce, for the better. Did you really love your Dad?

Offline TeHFoOoL

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2006, 07:08:00 pm »

I know the feeling.
Well i'm sorry man, I have been thru 2 divorces before being 7 years old but thankfully my current parents have been together for 10 years now. I can't say I know what your going through but I hope everything works out for you guys by this divorce, for the better. Did you really love your Dad?
[/quote]

Love is something I abandoned long ago, when it comes to dealing with my dad. He's.. Completely irrational. He does things that completely infuriate me, such as yell at my mom or at my EIGHT YEAR OLD sister.

Also, when we've been going through all the stress during this divorce, he's never home and is out fucking some secret lover.

All I know if I ever meet the broad it won't be under happy circumstances.

I don't need to get into details about my father.. But trust me: Because of the divorce I will be separated from him, which is a major +.

And it gets me living in society ( opposed to the boonies of hell ) and I get 5mb/s compared to 28.8k. ;D

So I'm capable of realizing the pros and cons of things.

And uh, I believe Newby has gone through many divorces. ;x

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline d&q

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2006, 07:08:09 pm »
I think the point that you might try to get across is that if you know you might have problems in your marriage, or can forsee some major issues, rethink marriage, and that if a problem that comes up that is blown out of proportion, wait it out. Or am I interpreting your post the wrong way?

P.S.

Quote from: GameSnake
Did you really love your Dad?
Quote from: TeHFoOoL
Although I truly hate my dad
« Last Edit: February 14, 2006, 09:06:59 pm by GameSnake »
The writ of the founders must endure.

Offline TeHFoOoL

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2006, 07:15:42 pm »
Rgr Deuce.

Divorce should be the last resort. Or else people will continually regard it as the first choice, and nothing will ever be accomplished. Except divorcing, that is.

Can't fool a FoOoL

Offline Newby

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Re: Divorce ;[
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2006, 08:02:46 pm »
And it gets me living in society ( opposed to the boonies of hell ) and I get 5mb/s compared to 28.8k. ;D

..

And uh, I believe Newby has gone through many divorces. ;x

@ #1: Yes. You can live near me! Woohoo! Chill every day++;

@ #2: Only two that I remember. Only one that I really cared about.

One thing though, is that when your real parent and a step parent are divorcing, the step parent will brown nose you++
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT.