The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All

[iago]

I couldn't think of anywhere else to post this, so I'm posting it in my own forum. 

In Terry Pratchett's books, the ones about the witches, Nanny Ogg makes reference to The Hedgehog Song while drinking.  Of course, Terry Pratchett doesn't give more than 2 or 3 lines, and when discussing the song they make it out to be extremely dirth.  So a bunch of people got together (on a newgroup or something) and came up with lyrics for it.  Here is what they ended up with [PARENTAL ADVISORY]:

    Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
    But I have to say this as a warning to you:
    With almost all animals, you can have ball
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

    CHORUS:
    The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
    They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
    The result I think you'll find will appall:
    The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

    Mounting a horse can often be fun
    An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
    Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

    A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
    And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
    Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

    You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
    With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
    We already mentioned the horse, you may recall
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

    For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
    To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
    The lemurs cry Frink! as a coy mating call
    But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

Pretty funny song, if you ask me

[Sidoh]

LMAO!  THAT IS MESSED UP!

[Ergot]

Someone sure likes engaging in sexual acts with animals.

[Joe]

Someone sure likes engaging in sexual acts with animals.

PETA.

[iago]

Someone sure likes engaging in sexual acts with animals.

In the book it's supposed to be a drinking song.  "She heard Nanny start into the first verse of the Hedgehog Song" or "When you start drinking, you start singing that Hedgehog Song!"

[CrAz3D]

In band we sing a similar song...something along the lines of

"
I put my dick up on her toe
yo ho, yo ho
I put my dick up on her toe
yo ho, yo ho
..."
................I dont remember the 'punch lines', but its all very sexual.

It goes toe, foot, leg, thigh, tit, twat, mouth...I think.

Then the end is "I put her in a box & dig her up every now and again & fuck her every now and again"

Some people can come up with some awesomely crude songs.