Author Topic: First time using a condom  (Read 4818 times)

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Offline GameSnake

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First time using a condom
« on: March 06, 2006, 09:32:25 pm »
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.

She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"

Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and "pow" I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"

I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

Offline igimo1

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2006, 09:38:14 pm »
Why do you always have idiotic topics in your forum?

Offline GameSnake

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2006, 09:53:38 pm »
Why do you keep posting here if you don't like the topic?

Edit: maybe it will enjoy more fanfare if it's in this forum.

Offline Blaze

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2006, 10:02:44 pm »
ROFL, pwnd.
And like a fool I believed myself, and thought I was somebody else...

Offline iago

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2006, 10:08:22 pm »
This reminds me of the guy who walks into an old lady's house.  He sees a condom floating in a fishbowl on her piano.  He eventually asks her why, and she says, "Well, the instructions said to keep moist and put it on your organ and it will prevent spread of disease.  And guess what?  I haven't had a cold all winter!"

Offline Blaze

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2006, 10:09:59 pm »
I have a rock that will keep tigers away...
And like a fool I believed myself, and thought I was somebody else...

Offline Sidoh

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2006, 10:24:28 pm »
Hahaha, that's great.

Offline deadly7

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2006, 10:29:54 pm »
This reminds me of the guy who walks into an old lady's house.  He sees a condom floating in a fishbowl on her piano.  He eventually asks her why, and she says, "Well, the instructions said to keep moist and put it on your organ and it will prevent spread of disease.  And guess what?  I haven't had a cold all winter!"

ROFL HAHAHAA THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME.

Gamesnake, nice story!
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Offline Sidoh

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2006, 10:45:11 pm »
ROFL HAHAHAA THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME.

Gamesnake, nice story!

I think it was a joke, not a story. :)

Offline deadly7

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2006, 11:08:35 pm »
It was longer than a paragraph - it's a story, in my mind. :(
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Offline Newby

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2006, 11:18:41 pm »
I thought this was a story. :(
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Joe

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2006, 08:27:07 am »
ROFLROFL.
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline ZeroX

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2006, 10:15:02 am »
That story gave me a hard on  :o
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Quote
mutsumibear: David's coming over Sunday so we can have mad sex all day.
zxdropoff: lucky you
mutsumibear: :D I know.
mutsumibear: I just pray I don't start my period before then.
zxdropoff: omfg
zxdropoff: stfu
zxdropoff: now please
mutsumibear: HAHA
mutsumibear: I love disturbing you.

Offline GameSnake

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2006, 12:53:06 pm »
Joke/story.

Offline Krazed

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Re: First time using a condom
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2006, 11:27:02 am »
Lmao.
It is good to be good, but it is better to be lucky.