Author Topic: A Mans Guide to First Dates  (Read 4395 times)

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Offline Ergot

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A Mans Guide to First Dates
« on: March 27, 2006, 02:12:42 am »
Email from my uncle:


               WHITE WOMEN:

           First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

           Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

           Third date: You get to have $ex but only in the missionary
         position.

           IRISH WOMEN:

           First Date: You both get blind drunk and have $ex.

           Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have $ex.

           20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have $ex.

           ITALIAN WOMEN:

           First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

          Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
         meatballs.

          Third Date: You have $ex, she wants to marry you & insists on a
         3-carat ring.

          5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the
         thought of having $ex.

          6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

           JEWISH WOMEN:

           First Date: You get terrific head.

           Second Date: You get even more great head.

           Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head
         again.

           CHINESE WOMEN:

           First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing
         happens.

           Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing
         happens again.

           Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've
         already realized nothing is ever going to happen.

           INDIAN WOMEN:

           First date: Meet her parents.

           Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

           Third date: Wedding night.

           BLACK WOMEN:

           First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

           Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real
         expensive dinner.

           Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

           Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

           MEXICAN WOMEN:

           First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on
         Tequila, and have $ex in the back of her car.

           Second Date: She's pregnant.

           Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father,
         his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids,
         her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins,
her sister's
         Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and
beans for
         the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now
looks like
         a home along the Tijuana strip.

          ARAB WOMEN:

          First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins,Aunts,
         Uncles,Friends and entire arab community finds out.

          Second Date:    You are shot dead.

                     No third date.
Who gives a damn? I fuck sheep all the time.
And yes, male both ends.  There are a couple lesbians that need a two-ended dildo...My router just refuses to wear a strap-on.
(05:55:03) JoE ThE oDD: omfg good job i got a boner thinkin bout them chinese bitches
(17:54:15) Sidoh: I love cosmetology

Offline Super_X

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2006, 02:16:09 am »
hah

Offline Feanor

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2006, 02:16:50 am »
Funny.
Share the knowledge.

Offline Sidoh

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2006, 02:21:01 am »
Hahaha, that's great.

Offline AntiVirus

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2006, 01:42:08 pm »
Haha -- The chinese one is so true. :D
The once grove of splendor,
Aforetime crowned by lilac and lily,
Lay now forevermore slender;
And all winds that liven
Silhouette a lone existence;
A leafless oak grasping at eternity.


"They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe, but I rather kill myself then turn into their slave."
- The Rasmus

Offline Mythix

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2006, 06:18:42 pm »
hahahaha ergot good job i want to meet your uncle now.
Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce


Offline deadly7

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Re: A Mans Guide to First Dates
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2006, 06:22:03 pm »
Hahaha. The Indian one is incredibly true. :p
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

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(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
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