Author Topic: You know you've been hacking too long when....  (Read 8116 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline iago

  • Leader
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17914
  • Fnord.
    • View Profile
    • SkullSecurity
You know you've been hacking too long when....
« on: April 13, 2006, 12:53:02 pm »
Copied from this site: http://people.msoe.edu/~taylor/humor/hack.htm (but it's difficult to read there due to the dreadful background, so I'll post it here):

You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When...
...you want an elevator to the basement and begin looking for the "0" key, because 0 is less than 1.

...you are afraid to hit the snooze bar on your alarm clock too many times because you think that the clock's subroutine is mallocing memory each time it goes to print the free memory on the front, and soon it would run out.

...you look for your toothbrush by trying to do a '/toothbrush' command.

...you are trying to recall something and hear in your head: "Parity error at address..."

...you're writing a homework assignment, and get to the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line.

...you pick up a rootbeer and read the label as "High Res", not Hires.

...you try to sleep, and think, "telnet sleep.cs.mun.ca".

...you have two books, one on top of another, and think: "No problem. I'll just click on its title bar to raise the other book to the front."

...you hear a professor lecturing, and think that any question will crash his/her lecture interpreter.

...you hit the wrong key on the elevator keypad and you feel frustrated when you see that it has no "Undo" key.

...you think of the lyrics to "Jump! Jump!" by Kris Kross and wonder if they can be assembled...

...you start typing semi-colons at the end of sentences instead of full stops;

...you see something written on the blackboard and think: "Why don't I just log on and download it?"

...you think you can't wake up in the morning because you forgot to push a return address on the stack the night before.

...you plan a hectic day as follows: "My load average seems to be a bit too high, my scheduler might die any moment, and I'm running out of swap space... I'd better kill off some low-priority user processes."

...you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.

...you are watching TV and look for the "Info" key in the remote control to find out the name of the program.

...you want to grep a book.

...you want to grep a videocassette.

...you want to 'grep toothbrush /dev/gym_bag'.

...you want to 'grep keys /dev/pockets'.

...you want to 'grep homework /dev/backpack'.

...your children do something they shouldn't, you tell them to stop, and they do it just once more, and you react by thinking: "Well, they prefetched the instruction and are executing it in the delay slot..."

...after fooling around all day with routers and other junk, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

...the bell rings ending class while the professor is in the middle of a sentence, and you think, "How in the world is he going to carry that continuation back to his office?"

...you watch the temperature display on The Weather Network say that it is -0 degrees outside, and you catch yourself wondering if it is sign-magnitude or 1's-complement.

...you get in an elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.

...you go to the movies and it takes 5 minutes to get used to the flicker (low refresh rate...)

...you go to the movies and catch yourself wondering what the color depth of the screen image is.

...you see a flock of birds, and you sit there and try to figure out the algorithms that determine their movement.

...not only do you check your e-mail more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

...you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

...your computers have a higher street value than your car.

...in your universe, "round numbers" are powers of 2, not 10.

...more than once, you have woken up recalling a dream in FORTRAN.

...your alarm clock goes off, and you think it is spawning new alarm clock processes and you have to kill them quickly so it doesn't fill up the process table and prevent you from doing anything about it. The only problem is, there is a monitor process that you can't kill, and every time you kill off one of the ring_alarm(x) processes, it waits 9 minutes and spawns another one.

...you wish you could 'sleep 24000 &'.

...you try to bring a window to the front of something, then you realize that the "something" is a post-it (tm) on your screen.

...in art class, you make a mistake in a drawing and look frantically for the "Undo" button on the paper.

...you've been low-level debugging ethernets for a week and when you see two people at a table trying to pick up the same jar of butter you wonder if they are using the correct CSMA/CD algorithm to avoid a re-collision.

Author: koos@kzdoos.hacktic.nl
Edited by: django@ccs.neu.edu and t a y l o r@l i n u x a v e.n e t
Take a look at my humor archive.

t a y l o r@l i n u x a v e.n e t

Offline iago

  • Leader
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17914
  • Fnord.
    • View Profile
    • SkullSecurity
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2006, 12:58:21 pm »
...you watch the temperature display on The Weather Network say that it is -0 degrees outside, and you catch yourself wondering if it is sign-magnitude or 1's-complement.

That actually happened to me last week.  There was a big billboard that said, "CURRENT TEMPERATURE: -0" and we talked about how they were encoding it :)

Offline Newby

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10877
  • Thrash!
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2006, 01:34:10 pm »
Copied from this site: http://people.msoe.edu/~taylor/humor/hack.htm (but it's difficult to read there due to the dreadful background, so I'll post it here):

You Know You've Been Hacking Too Long When...

...you're writing a homework assignment, and get to the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line.

...you pick up a rootbeer and read the label as "High Res", not Hires.

...you hit the wrong key on the elevator keypad and you feel frustrated when you see that it has no "Undo" key.

...you start typing semi-colons at the end of sentences instead of full stops;

...you see something written on the blackboard and think: "Why don't I just log on and download it?"

...you are watching TV and look for the "Info" key in the remote control to find out the name of the program.

...you want to grep a book.

...you want to grep a videocassette.

...you want to 'grep homework /dev/backpack'.

...after fooling around all day with routers and other junk, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

...you go to the movies and catch yourself wondering what the color depth of the screen image is.

...not only do you check your e-mail more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

...you try to bring a window to the front of something, then you realize that the "something" is a post-it (tm) on your screen.

Har.
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Chavo

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2219
  • no u
    • View Profile
    • Chavoland
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2006, 01:36:27 pm »
I only found a couple any good, but I can definately vouch for this one:

...your computers have a higher street value than your car.

 :o

Offline Joe

  • B&
  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10319
  • In Soviet Russia, text read you!
    • View Profile
    • Github
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2006, 02:28:26 pm »
...you think of the lyrics to "Jump! Jump!" by Kris Kross and wonder if they can be assembled...
ROFL.

...not only do you check your e-mail more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.
I check my email sevral times a day (well, switch workspaces to Evolution's workspace). I can't remember 192.168.0.193 very easily, but deadmeat is a piece of cake compared to my postal address.
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline Newby

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10877
  • Thrash!
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2006, 02:43:32 pm »
I can tell you my external IP address, my internal IP address, my mother/brother's IP address, the rest of the machines on my internal net, my dad's external IP address, my dad's network layout for both internal networks, each box (hooray for nmap -sP 192.168.xx.0-254)'s IP address and what the box does.

I still can't tell you my mom's mailing address or my dad's home/mailing address. I don't know/remember them.
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

trust

  • Guest
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2006, 03:39:54 pm »
I can tell you my external IP address, my internal IP address, my mother/brother's IP address, the rest of the machines on my internal net, my dad's external IP address, my dad's network layout for both internal networks, each box (hooray for nmap -sP 192.168.xx.0-254)'s IP address and what the box does.

I still can't tell you my mom's mailing address or my dad's home/mailing address. I don't know/remember them.

Wait...you're wondering why Brooke doesn't like you? :P

Offline Warrior

  • supreme mac daddy of trolls
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7503
  • One for a Dime two for a Quarter!
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2006, 05:24:25 pm »
...you go to the movies and catch yourself wondering what the color depth of the screen image is.

Only one  I found even remotely entertaining. The rest are too forced.
One must ask oneself: "do I will trolling to become a universal law?" And then when one realizes "yes, I do will it to be such," one feels completely justified.
-- from Groundwork for the Metaphysics of Trolling

Offline Newby

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10877
  • Thrash!
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2006, 05:42:18 pm »
Wait...you're wondering why Brooke doesn't like you? :P

Hey, fuck you. >:(
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Ergot

  • 吴立峰 ^_^ !
  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3724
  • I steal bandwidth. p_o
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2006, 05:43:53 pm »
I wish I could grep a book... it'd help me when I'm searching for those quotes for my essay :\.
Who gives a damn? I fuck sheep all the time.
And yes, male both ends.  There are a couple lesbians that need a two-ended dildo...My router just refuses to wear a strap-on.
(05:55:03) JoE ThE oDD: omfg good job i got a boner thinkin bout them chinese bitches
(17:54:15) Sidoh: I love cosmetology

Offline iago

  • Leader
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17914
  • Fnord.
    • View Profile
    • SkullSecurity
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2006, 06:02:27 pm »
I can tell you my external IP address, my internal IP address, my mother/brother's IP address, the rest of the machines on my internal net, my dad's external IP address, my dad's network layout for both internal networks, each box (hooray for nmap -sP 192.168.xx.0-254)'s IP address and what the box does.

I still can't tell you my mom's mailing address or my dad's home/mailing address. I don't know/remember them.

I know all my internal IPs by heart, but they're pretty easy.  And I always have my list, just in case. 

I used to know my external IP before it became dynamic.  I also used to know the external IPs of my best friends.  Hooray for TCP/IP online gaming :)

Offline Quik

  • Webmaster Guy
  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3262
  • \x51 \x75 \x69 \x6B \x5B \x78 \x38 \x36 \x5D
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2006, 06:38:58 pm »
I wish I could grep a book... it'd help me when I'm searching for those quotes for my essay :\.

I've wished for that so many times. If I had the cash to pay for all the textbooks, I'd break their bindings, scan them, and use them as ebooks.
Quote
[20:21:13] xar: i was just thinking about the time iago came over here and we made this huge bomb and light up the sky for 6 min
[20:21:15] xar: that was funny

Offline rabbit

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8092
  • I speak for the entire clan (except Joe)
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2006, 08:17:49 pm »
Man...I really want a book grep...It's SOOOOOOO needed.

Offline ZeroX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1933
  • Pirating Your software since 1998
    • View Profile
    • Crap
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2006, 09:00:32 pm »
LMAOLIMO

Zeroforce
Zeroforce
Zeroforce





Quote
mutsumibear: David's coming over Sunday so we can have mad sex all day.
zxdropoff: lucky you
mutsumibear: :D I know.
mutsumibear: I just pray I don't start my period before then.
zxdropoff: omfg
zxdropoff: stfu
zxdropoff: now please
mutsumibear: HAHA
mutsumibear: I love disturbing you.

Offline Newby

  • x86
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 10877
  • Thrash!
    • View Profile
Re: You know you've been hacking too long when....
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2006, 09:33:08 pm »
I used to know my external IP before it became dynamic.  I also used to know the external IPs of my best friends.  Hooray for TCP/IP online gaming :)

I faintly remember Hitmen's old IP (when he ran an FTP server), his current IP, my DNS servers (68.6.16.25 / 68.6.16.30 / 4.2.2.1 / 4.2.2.2), I faintly remember Trust's IP, and those are the only people's IP I can remember. :(
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT.