This place lacks new content... so here:
Y2K Message From your Information Technology Officers:
We know everyone is concerned over the Y2K bug so we plan on implementing the
following pre-emptive strategy:
Due to heightened concern over Y2K problems and since the fiscal 2000 budget
failed to incorporate our need for computer equipment upgrades, we have determined
that there is no longer any need for network or software applications support.
Our goal is to remove all computers from your desktops by December 31st, 1999
thus avoiding the anticipated Y2K problem. Instead, all personnel will be provided
with an Etch-A-Sketch(tm).
This provides four distinct advantages:
1. Y2K compatibility
2. No technical glitches to prevent goals from being accomplished
3. No more wasted time reading and writing e-mails
4. No equipment model differences
5. Portability
In anticipation of the changeover, the following is a list of frequently asked
questions (FAQ) regarding Etch-A-Sketch(tm) Technical Support.
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch(tm) has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn off my Etch-A-Sketch(tm)?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document Window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch(tm)?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch(tm)?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch(tm) document?
A: Don't shake it.
Thank you for your understanding and support. Please do not respond via e-mail
as the ITOs no longer utilize e-mail after this message. Have a good day.
