Author Topic: Dogma (1999)  (Read 3741 times)

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Offline Joe

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Dogma (1999)
« on: July 30, 2006, 11:00:20 pm »
I watched this two nights ago at Tory's house, while installing Slackware on his new box. It was a VERY funny movie, staring the characters who played Jay and Silent Bob (actually, playing those parts) from the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Naturally, the best way of describing it is the opening plot:

There's two angels, Loki, the Angel of Death (who caused the plagues of Egypt described in the book of Exodus), and Bartleby, his sidekick. After killing all the people the plagues were sent against, Loki felt guilty of all the killing (which is odd, because Bartleby later reveals that one of the two human weaknesses is a conscious, which implys that angels don't have one), and gives the sword back to God (symbolic of his resignation). God gets pissed, so.. send them to hell? Nah, worse, Wisconsin (we laughed SO hard at that). So, for a few thousand years these angels are walking around on Earth living a human's life (the other weakness of humans is their short lifespan, angels live forever (unless killed)). Eventually, a Catholic church holds a "rededication cerimony" on it's centenial where anyone who walks through those doors will be sinless. That's where the fun starts. As Jesus said to Pope Peter, "whatever you hold true on earth, I'll hold true in heaven", the door's removal of sin became divine mandate, and if Loki and Bartleby walked in, God would be proven fallable and all existance would cease to be. Naturally, they have to be stopped, hence the movie.
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline Newby

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2006, 11:56:35 pm »
You forgot the part where Loki gives God the finger and they aren't allowed to have alcohol.

Very good movie. I love it. I need to buy the DVD; it's one of the few that deserves purchase. It was on Comedy Central the other day; when it's censored it isn't as good but eh?

"If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing."
"What's that?"
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[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Joe

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2006, 12:23:22 am »
Haha. The main character's name was Bethany, right?

Bethany: Take whatever you want, just don't kill or rape me!
Metatron: I can't rape you. Angels are ill-equipped. *drops pants to reveal nothing on his crotch*

EDIT -
I also love Mooby the Calf, a reference to Aaron's dumb idea of breaking the first commandment. :)
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline Quik

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2006, 12:24:41 am »
One of my favorite movies of all time.

I watched this two nights ago at Tory's house, while installing Slackware on his new box. It was a VERY funny movie, staring the characters who played Jay and Silent Bob (actually, playing those parts) from the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

Kevin Smith made this movie (as well as Clerks and Mallrats), with Jay and Silent Bob, before he made J&SB Strike Back.

Your plot analysis has a few holes:

There's two angels, Loki, the Angel of Death (who caused the plagues of Egypt described in the book of Exodus), and Bartleby, his sidekick (not really a sidekick, they both had pivital roles in events such as Sodom. I've forgotten his official title as angel, but it's not just 'his sidekick'.). After killing all the people the plagues were sent against, Loki felt guilty of all the killing (which is odd, because Bartleby later reveals that one of the two human weaknesses is a conscious, which implys that angels don't have one), and gives the sword back to God (symbolic of his resignation). God gets pissed, so.. send them to hell? Nah, worse, Wisconsin (we laughed SO hard at that). So, for a few thousand years these angels are walking around on Earth living a human's life (the other weakness of humans is their short lifespan, angels live forever (unless their wings are cut off, then killed)). Eventually, a Catholic church holds a "rededication cerimony" on it's centenial where anyone who walks through those doors will be sinless. That's where the fun starts. As Jesus said to Pope Peter, "whatever you hold true on earth, I'll hold true in heaven", the door's removal of sin became divine mandate, and if Loki and Bartleby walked in, God would be proven fallable and all existance would cease to be. Naturally, they have to be stopped, hence the movie.

In general, you kinda murdered the hilariousness of the first 30 minutes of the movie, but I'll forgive you. You should have just said that you watched it, and left it up to IMDb to explain.

One of my favorite parts of this movie is the Mooby scene, the entire thing with the board is well done and makes a point, but the ending of that scene is so great, even if you know it's coming.

Other than that, favorite quote:

Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this...
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2006, 12:27:25 am by Quik »
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[20:21:13] xar: i was just thinking about the time iago came over here and we made this huge bomb and light up the sky for 6 min
[20:21:15] xar: that was funny

Offline rabbit

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2006, 08:18:12 am »
Bartleby was a Watcher.  Don't forget Chasing Amy, which Kevin Smith made in 97.

Offline Newby

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2006, 02:11:32 pm »
Chasing Amy was fuckin' weird.
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Blaze

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Re: Dogma (1999)
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2006, 03:52:09 pm »
Kevin Smith made this movie (as well as Clerks and Mallrats), with Jay and Silent Bob, before he made J&SB Strike Back.

I was about to kick Joe in the face for not knowing this.  Thank you for stating it first.
And like a fool I believed myself, and thought I was somebody else...