joe: Java Methods was the worst book I've ever read. And those assholes make a lot of money off of it. It should be burned.
Chapter 1: Let's throw a bunch of big words at you and never talk about them again!
Chapter 2: wHo The fuck Made this Language
Chapter 3: So software is stuff that runs on metal and talks through wires and drives on buses
Chapter 4-17: We just decided on whim to spend 400 pages on primtives, loops, arrays, and conditionals. Thanks for the money and be sure to buy our next book! (Which is actually decent I have to admit.)