Author Topic: The Cell Phone  (Read 4414 times)

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Offline Sidoh

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The Cell Phone
« on: August 19, 2006, 04:18:10 am »
I was walking to my dorm with a few of the people that live on my floor, when something gleaming caught my eye.  Post-inspection, it was nothing short of... the cell phone.  I figured I'd give it to the front desk in my residence hall and they could figure out what they wanted to do with it.

Shortly after the great discovery, one of the people walking with us said "why don't you just look for 'Mom' on contacts and call her?  she'll know what to do."  With the ingenuity of this idea fresh in my mind, I found the contacts list and started going through the long list that had been entered into the phone.  On my way down to "Mom," I saw an entry for none other than... Man.  Was it the man, I asked myself?  After lightly pondering the subject for a short amount of time, I decided to continue my decent to "Mom."  Ten seconds later, the phone started vibrating.  The screen read:

 "Incoming call..."
 "From: Man"

Obviously bewildered by this event that had to transcend coincidence, I hesitated to answer.  Finally, I mustered the courage to press the green "accept" button and said: "Uh... hello?"  The voice of Man responded "Hi!  Is Kaylee there?"  Much to my surprise, the Man was actually... the WOMan.  Somewhat confused, I queried "Yeah.  Hi.  Who's this?  I just found this phone in the lawn a few minutes ago."  The Man came back with zealous confidence: "Oh, okay.  Where are you going to be?"

The rest of the story is pretty boring.  I gave some girl the phone.  She met me in my residence hall, etc.  I just though the "Man" part was really funny.

Offline Ergot

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2006, 04:37:57 am »
how noble
Who gives a damn? I fuck sheep all the time.
And yes, male both ends.  There are a couple lesbians that need a two-ended dildo...My router just refuses to wear a strap-on.
(05:55:03) JoE ThE oDD: omfg good job i got a boner thinkin bout them chinese bitches
(17:54:15) Sidoh: I love cosmetology

Offline Joe

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2006, 06:20:32 am »
Huh? =p
I'd personally do as Joe suggests

You might be right about that, Joe.


Offline deadly7

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2006, 09:18:38 am »
Worst. Ending. Ever.
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
 [17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Offline rabbit

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2006, 09:20:45 am »
Nuh-uh!  Matrix 2.

Offline Sidoh

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2006, 12:35:48 pm »
Worst. Ending. Ever.

I didn't want to harm you children by telling you the real ending, so I spared you the blood and gore.

Offline Super_X

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2006, 12:42:15 pm »
Worst. Ending. Ever.

I didn't want to harm you children by telling you the real ending, so I spared you the blood and gore.
Don't forget the strap-on and the sodomy. ;) Sidoh was sore the next morning.

<3

Offline Newby

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2006, 01:15:04 pm »
I didn't want to harm you children by telling you the real ending, so I spared you the blood and gore.

I don't wanna know what you do with women during sex.... :o
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote
[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

Offline Towelie

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2006, 01:24:41 pm »
I didn't want to harm you children by telling you the real ending, so I spared you the blood and gore.

I don't wanna know what you do with women during sex.... :o
Probably along the lines of Four Legged Whore by Torsofuck

Offline leet_muffin

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Re: The Cell Phone
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2006, 06:37:00 pm »
Hehe, very well worded story, I enjoyed it.
The douchebag method:
fuck allfo you i dont give a fuck ill fight everyone of you fuck that sbhit fuck you