I went to a garage sale. I bought an old beat-up Schwinn bicycle for $4. It's old, kinda ugly, but it's in good shape for it's age. It's got a generator-powered headlight (yay for not needing batteries), a speedometer (It's convinced I'm going at around 7MPH when I'm not going at all, but it's apparently correct once you reach or go beyond 7MPH), and a grand total of one speed. Him and I are going to be great friends.
Pictures to follow, maybe.