Paradoxes and Oxymorons

[Joe]

I always find these interesting. Paradoxes can give any intelligent person a headache, and oxymorons can make you chuckle for a minute or so.

Everyone's unique.
Jumbo shrimp.
Microsoft works.

Nine out of ten agree that one out of ten will disagree with the other nine.
I went back in time and killed my great grandfather.

[Sidoh]

Since unique isn't a very descriptive word, the first isn't much of an oxymoron.  "Jumbo" is a relative term, so the second isn't either.  The third is just stupid.

[iago]

Unique implies that people are different.  But the fact that everybody shares the property of being unique can be oxymoronical. 

Microsoft Works is my favorite.

[chuck]

http://oxymoronlist.com/

Look whats #1!

[Sidoh]

Unique implies that people are different.  But the fact that everybody shares the property of being unique can be oxymoronical. 

Microsoft Works is my favorite.

Like I said, "unique" is a very non-descriptive word.  If you were to compile a list of properties of each person, I have little doubt that there would be no two lists that were identical, assuming the number of properties was large enough.  I don't think that's a very good oxymoron.  It's too much of an oversight.

[iago]

Unique implies that people are different.  But the fact that everybody shares the property of being unique can be oxymoronical. 

Microsoft Works is my favorite.

Like I said, "unique" is a very non-descriptive word.  If you were to compile a list of properties of each person, I have little doubt that there would be no two lists that were identical, assuming the number of properties was large enough.  I don't think that's a very good oxymoron.  It's too much of an oversight.

You're thinking too hard for a joke

[Sidoh]

Oxymorons aren't supposed to be jokes...

[iago]

I'm pretty sure there's supposed to be some humour element in them. 

[Sidoh]

I don't think an oxymoron is supposed to imply anything other than two contradictory phrases.

[rabbit]

I am lying.
This sentence is false.

[Chavo]

"This sentence is false" doesn't work unless you include a statement such that only true and false are possibilities.

Such as:
The sentence below is true.
The sentence above is false.

[Blaze]

I don't think an oxymoron is supposed to imply anything other than two contradictory phrases.

Stop thinking then. 

[rabbit]

"This sentence is false" doesn't work unless you include a statement such that only true and false are possibilities.

Such as:
The sentence below is true.
The sentence above is false.

It works just fine:
"This sentence is false."
If it's false, then it is true, which means it's not false, and thusly it's false, so it's true, etc...

[Chavo]

You're making the assumption that completely true and completely false are the only possibilities but your statement makes no restriction such that the assumption is necessary.  My example restricts all possibilities to completely true or completely false.

"This sentence is false"  can be partially true and partially false and still work

[Ender]

Yeah, the unique example sucks. Uniqueness is not unique. By your definition of unique no human is unique because we all share human traits. Unique doesn't mean your completely different.

The "Microsoft Works" one was funny the first time I've heard it but it's so overused now...

The rest are too bad to merit discussion.

[rabbit]

You're making the assumption that completely true and completely false are the only possibilities but your statement makes no restriction such that the assumption is necessary.  My example restricts all possibilities to completely true or completely false.

"This sentence is false"  can be partially true and partially false and still work

I'm assuming boolean interpretation, where a single thing, as defined by the sentence ("this sentence") is either true or false.  It's explicitly stated that the sentence is talking about the sentence as a whole, not parts of it.

[Chavo]

You just proved my point, you're assuming something but not making the claim within the statement

[Towelie]

how about this one: Sexy Niggers

[BigAznDaddy]

how about this one: Sexy Niggers

AHAHAHAHAHA
I bet one of our clan mates is black and is going to "bust a cap in your ass."

[Sidoh]

I think Deuce would more effectively mentally torture him.

[d&q]

I wouldn't sexually touch a Klan member. But that hurt Towelie. It hurt. 

[Towelie]

I wouldn't sexually touch a Klan member. But that hurt Towelie. It hurt. 

GG.

[Super_X]

I think my favorite oxymoron is what Joe was trying to achieve:
You're special, just like every one else.

[Sidoh]

I think my favorite oxymoron is what Joe was trying to achieve:
You're special, just like every one else.

Special isn't a descriptive property.  If you have a box of crayons of all different colors, you could address as single crayon: "You're unique crayon in the box, just like all of the other crayons in the box" and not be presenting it with a paradox.

[Super_X]

I think my favorite oxymoron is what Joe was trying to achieve:
You're special, just like every one else.

Special isn't a descriptive property.  If you have a box of crayons of all different colors, you could address as single crayon: "You're unique crayon in the box, just like all of the other crayons in the box" and not be presenting it with a paradox.

I see your point. But usually if you think just that they are special, and not what is special about them it's a little more enjoyable. I mean, if they're special, and every one else is special, then no one is special. You're splitting up the specalities that every one has, this isn't the point of the lame joke. The point is to re-enforce sterotypes, and that's it.

[Sidoh]

Dumb jokes piss me off.

[Super_X]

Dumb jokes piss me off.

But, you're cute when you're angry.

[Ergot]

Dumb jokes piss me off.

Black polar bears.

[Super_X]

Dumb jokes piss me off.

Black polar bears.

Polar bearsare black.. They have black skin, but they have transparet hair that looks white from the light refracting in it.

[Sidoh]

Polar bearsare black.. They have black skin, but they have transparet hair that looks white from the light refracting in it.

Their skin is black.  That doesn't mean that a natural, healthy polar bear is black.  I have a nack for getting into stupid arguments.  This was one of them.  That's why Ergot mentioned it.

[Joe]

Viewing your voice mail.

[Ergot]

Viewing your voice mail.

That's not an oxymoron or a paradox... it's a moronic statement.

[Super_X]

Polar bearsare black.. They have black skin, but they have transparet hair that looks white from the light refracting in it.

Their skin is black.  That doesn't mean that a natural, healthy polar bear is black.  I have a nack for getting into stupid arguments.  This was one of them.  That's why Ergot mentioned it.

Yeah, I remember the huge argument you and Trust had a long time agoe. At the time I had forgoten who Trust was arguing with.

[Sidoh]

I've had a bunch with Warrior as well.  I have an argumentative nature...

[Warrior]

a bunch is a serious understatement.

[Sidoh]

a bunch is a serious understatement.

I OBJECT

[Warrior]

a bunch is a serious understatement.

I OBJECT

objection nullified.

[rabbit]

Nullification nullified.

[Sidoh]

Nullification nullified.

Sorry, only big boys can play this game.

[rabbit]

Your mother.