I need some help, please read.

[Screenor]

As a lot probably know, and few have probably cared I haven't seriously posted around here for a while due to other things going on, so I'll give some background info on what's been happening.

Some quick info, I'm 14, she's 15. She has borderline personality disorder, anxiety problems, depression, and cuts herself. Also a bad case of dependency issues. When this story starts we were both virgins.

If you remember, I wasn't going to school for a good two years of my life (7th-8th grade were completely skipped), and I came back in 9th grade. My anxiety problems once again stopped me from going. As of a November I started going to a new kind of school, developed for kids with the exact same problems as me, ranging in ages from 13-17 currently. I'm not able to give much information about this place due to confidential..."restrictions". Essentially, I'm there due to my anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorders. Also, the obvious fact that I can't be in a normal school. This place currently has 8 kids attending, we stay in one room all day and take our normal school classes, as well as therapy groups throughout the day. I met a girl there who I started going out with exactly a week after I got there. This isn't recommended by the school, but we did it anyway. The next weekend I went to her house things got out of control generally fast, we watched a movie, but immediately after we were in her room making out and I was fingering her.

The next day she told me she was still with another guy and fucked up, then dumped me as well as him. About three days later I forgave her and we got back together again. A week later I came over and this time we went a lot further, downstairs on the couch, naked, having sex. Let me tell you this, two virgins trying to have sex for the first time is not exactly pretty, explaining to a girl they have to spread their legs so you can stick your peeper in and make them bleed and cry also doesn't help the cause.

Anyway, a few days after she dumps me again. This time for generally no reason. The next day we're back together. Another week or so passes, and she dumps me for a forth time. 5 minutes later I've calmed her down and we're going back out once again. (Yes, I realize this is getting repetative, and stupid on my part.) Today, she had another mood swing, and dumped me for the 5th time in less then two months. This time I snapped, and ended this load of garbage. Over AIM, I said I'll give her two options, we go back out again and disregaurd it, or she says no and we don't even so much as look at eachother in school.

She took the second option. I took it the way I think I should have, said alright, and was done. I then went and laid down in bed. 15 minutes later I get a message from you know who, saying "please don't leave me". She explains to me some story about how she's "scared of guys" due to something I can't get into detail about. We talk for a while, the conversation consisting of her saying the following; "can we just talk about i can't live without u" "please talk to me" "i fucking need u" "can we talk about this" "can we plese try again" "now i realize how much i need u" "baby will u plaese go out with me".

You get the idea. I've yet to say yes or no, but I'm really leaning towards no, simply because regaurdless of how I feel about her, I don't want to go through with this game of hers again.

This is really the only place I feel comfortable asking for help with something like this. I trust a lot of the people here's judgement, so if you have any opinions/thoughts on this shithole I've gotten myself into, please post.

[Newby]

You feel comfortable posting about it here? What about your myg0t buddies? I'd swear this topic was fake, but I'll go ahead and answer legitimately just on the off-chance you are dead serious.

Don't do it. Her mental disorders are going to do nothing but make you suffer, and the pleasure you get out of it won't balance out at all.

[Screenor]

myg0t...yeah, I like them but not that much. The hell if I'd trust them with this stuff.

Yes, I'm dead serious.

[disco]

no

[Newby]

myg0t...yeah, I like them but not that much. The hell if I'd trust them with this stuff.

I can understand that.

[dark_drake]

I'd say no, but you should probably make sure she's not going to go off the deep end before you do so.

[warz]

I would tell you these feelings are typical towards the first girl you have sex with, especially if both of you are virgins. Maybe this is a good reason to wait until marriage for sex? I don't know, but anyways, it sounds like this girl will only be a bunch of trouble. If you, yourself, have some mental disorders too it sounds like, then it's probably not in your best interested to be dating somebody that has what seems to be severely more mental disorders. You'll both feed off of eachothers bullshit, and create more bullshit, but if you continue for too long the bullshit will be what you strive for, and both of your bullshit will just continue until you're both under the ground being shit on by bulls... or maybe a cow, or something exotic like a bald eagle, or a tucan - maybe a damn squirrel will eat you up. As you can see, I've backed up my reasons as to why you should not date this girl with death, and being shamed after death by a bunch of animals.

Edit: but, just so  you know, since you took her vcard, she'll always be down to have sex with you again. itll take a lot of work sometimes, especially if yall arent drunk, but she will - unless you let her fall in love with some other douche. this could be borderline keeping her on a leash, and stalkerish, but, if you do it correctly, it's also a bootycall.

[Super_X]

I'd say "Yes" but add in something like "Dump me again, ther's nothin' left, Dude."

[Armin]

I say stick with it. Maybe a steady relationship will help the both of you. That is, if you feel you can work towards a steady relationship.

[Rule]

The pattern you're in is repetitive and destructive, and saying "yes" would likely continue the cycle, so I would think you shouldn't.  But really, you should talk to a psychiatrist or a psychologist about this specifically.  They will probably be able to help you much better than any of us can.

[Screenor]

Psychiatrists normally look at it from one strict point of view: No.
However, the school I'm at has three psychiatrists, two of which say we should stay together. One who no one likes anyway.

I wanted to hear real people's point of views, since a lot of the time I can't rely on my psychiatrists.

Warz: The thing is we don't feed off eachother, which is the weird thing. When one of us have a problem, the other steps up to take care of it.

We just got done talking on the phone for almost two hours... I'm a pussy and we're going back out, but I'm glad I got that shit off my chest and managed to tell some people without most of you actually knowing who I am. We're trying to figure out a way to "snap her back" when she gets in one of those moods.. She suggested I give her a picture of myself. (Somehow that calms her?) I don't know for sure though, so.. I told her if it happens again we're done for good cause I'm not putting up with it again.

Anyways, thanks to those that gave advice.

[Killer360]

That was fast...

Posted on: Today at 07:21:06 PM

Posted on: Today at 09:24:07 PM

You didn't even take the Expert's (me) opinion. 

[Kaleeko]

Well, I'm not going to say that you're making a mistake. If you like her, and she had a little bit of time to cool off to realize how much she does (hopefully) care about you, then hey, try to make it work. If it doesn't, there's absolutely no reason to pursue it again.

I guess there's one thing I can offer in advice. All girls are nutcases. I'm no exception. But the degree of which is something you really need to consider (especially if you're a  nutcase yourself   ). It's never a good idea to go into a relationship with a girl who has severe depression problems, ESPECIALLY if you're the kind of person that "thinks they can help". You can for a while ("Oh, you make my life so much better I love you blah blah blah"), but the euphoria only lasts for so long, until she dives back down into sadness, and there is absolutely nothing you can do. And then, you're afraid to ever break up with them out of fear that they might hurt themselves over it.

Things might work out for the better, but especially if you're both having problems, be careful. The best way to help someone else is to help yourself first, no matter how selfish it sounds, and not rely on anyone else to make you happy. Ever.

Good luck, though.

[CrAz3D]

Maybe having someone to lean on will help each of you out in the long run?
On the other hand, no because she is a "wreck" and maybe you need someone strong to help you along.

I know that emotionally, I'm pretty weak like that.  If my ex were to come running back I'd think about taking her back even after everything she put me through.


I think its pretty much a personal decision, just remember that at this young age...it wont last forever, unfortunately

[Sidoh]

You said she had some sort of anxiety disorder?  Unless that's somehow treated, as Rule said, I think it's very likely that the cycle will continue.  I say no unless you are really happy with the emocoaster she's sending you on.

[rabbit]

Anxiety disorders suck, big time.  What's really sucky about her is that she's got depression and some anxiety disorder, which means she'll usually want you real bad when she's depressed, and, well, not so much when she's happy.

[abc]

Dear Scr33n0r,
   Boy, I kind of know how you feel, I have a girlfriend now, She was totally depressed when I met her and I was JUST getting out of the depression stage... It was extremely hard on me not to think of suicide..etc. She was into the black, cutting herself and all of that I was just getting out of all of that (yet still cutting myself)... She ended up breaking up with me a little after, and our conversation ended with me saying "You're making a big mistake." Two months later, we started talking again, and I asked her to the movies, we made out..etc she said "I understand what you said, you were right I was making a big mistake." She cheated on her boyfriend because she missed me so much, Well I asked her out two days after her breaking up with him. And we went out and we've been happy ever since (8 months and going.) Now we are both far out of the death music, black clothes and death thought stage and all of that. It's going really good.

    My advice to you is to say Yes, and TRY really TRY to stay happy around her, yes, you may have to lie to her...but as long as she sees you being happy, and how much you care for her, she'll become happy, and she'll support you when you're in need too. It's like you both support each other, and that is how a relationship should be.

    If you happen to say No to her, try to do it in person so she she doesn't do something stupid (if you say "No" on the phone she may say "This life isn't worth living" and kill herself... :-/") If you say it when you see her she'll probably have more time to calm down.

I know this story wasn't exactly like yours, and I've left stuff out but this is what I did and we're perfect now.

Good Luck Scr33n0r,
       Best Wishes.
.
EDIT: Ah, This is what I get for not reading all the posts, He already said yes. haha.   

[Screenor]

Thanks for the help guys. See, the problem is mainly her BPD (borderline personality disorder), when she gets in one of those raging moods according to our therapists (we have the same ones), is it'll only stop if I'm around to calm her down, or she does something to depress her enough to where she just shuts down.

My anxiety disorder is a little different, and normally when I get set off I have some control over it. There's been the rare occasion though where I will cut, though, and have tried to kill myself once. Which was why I really needed to talk about this somewhere where I'm fairly anonymous, but where there's people I feel I can trust.

I really do appreciate the replies. Thanks again.

[abc]

Np. ^.^

[CrAz3D]

Thanks for the help guys. See, the problem is mainly her BPD (borderline personality disorder), when she gets in one of those raging moods according to our therapists (we have the same ones), is it'll only stop if I'm around to calm her down, or she does something to depress her enough to where she just shuts down.

My anxiety disorder is a little different, and normally when I get set off I have some control over it. There's been the rare occasion though where I will cut, though, and have tried to kill myself once. Which was why I really needed to talk about this somewhere where I'm fairly anonymous, but where there's people I feel I can trust.

I really do appreciate the replies. Thanks again.

goodluck with whatever happens senor

[Towelie]

Well, now I know a bit more about you 
Either way, good luck with this. Next time she tries it you can just ignore it since when she calms down she will want you back anyways 

[Krazed]

She cuts, drop her like a bad habit.

[Warrior]

*ahem*

Getting dumped five times is not only hurting your g status, it's showing the true future of the relationship. If a relationship is only about sex then it's not something you should be wasting you time with.

Find a relationship with someone who understands you, makes you laugh, you can talk to, AND sex. Thats the keeper.

Finally, remember that you're both in very vulnerable states right now and all this drama of breaking up and getting back together on false emotions isn't good for any of you.

[Explicit]

She cuts, drop her like a bad habit.

People who have a self-mutilating partner are afraid to break up with them out of fear of them hurting themselves severely... like suicide.

[Screenor]

*ahem*

Getting dumped five times is not only hurting your g status, it's showing the true future of the relationship. If a relationship is only about sex then it's not something you should be wasting you time with.

Find a relationship with someone who understands you, makes you laugh, you can talk to, AND sex. Thats the keeper.

Finally, remember that you're both in very vulnerable states right now and all this drama of breaking up and getting back together on false emotions isn't good for any of you.

That'd be her.

She doesn't cut as often since we met apparently, now it's normally when her parents flip out on her. So I really don't know what to do.. Guess I'll just see how it pans out this time.

[Warrior]

Well if that's the case then you need to let her know you want to help her with her cutting problem.

You two can help each other if you're that committed to it.

If you can make it work with her, despite her breaking up with you then do it by all means. It would help you both to try to maintain a relationship. Just make sure it doesn't go to the point where it's unhealthy for the both of you.

[Sidoh]

lol, Warrior and his G status theory.

I must say I'm a strong believer!

[Krazed]

Hrmkay. My turn!

Honestly, I understand you have your anxiety disorder, and whatever other problems. I suffered from post dramatic stress over the summer, I know how horrible it feels and how it is trying to get over it. However, this girl, isn't helping you in anyway shape or form. I'm not saying shes a bad person, at all. But, as of right now she's only making things worse. The cutting? She needs to get the fuck over it, if you're willing to stay with someone that cuts, you've got some serious problems. I've gone through that with ex-girlfriends, if they're not willing to stop hurting themselves for you, then they're not worth it. Now, sit down and talk to her, tell her she has one chance. You can have a good relationship, be together, and be happy. Or she can be a two-year-old moron and break up with you, and that will be the complete end of you two.

[Warrior]

lol, Warrior and his G status theory.

I must say I'm a strong believer!

I got newby a date (sort of), I'm a miracle worker.

[trust]

Take it from someone who was in a similar relationship (me!), don't go back out with her. Try to limit contact with her as much as possible. My exgirlfriend is still really attached to me and has gone from begging me to go back out with her to begging me to be friends with her. I want nothing to do with the girl because I think she is just insane, and a large part of that is due to her being dependent I guess. It sucks, and I don't want you to have to go through it. Try to end it anyway you can. (legally I mean)

And, damn, does sex complicate things or what? Just don't do what I did and stay w/ her for it. Not only does it make things harder on her and harder when you're ready to finally end it, but for some reason other girls don't like it. (This girl I really want to hook up with knows what I did and thinks I'm just a huge asshole for it. Oh well, her loss.)

Oh, and plus you don't want a girl who cuts herself. You just don't.

[Screenor]

Take it from someone who was in a similar relationship (me!), don't go back out with her. Try to limit contact with her as much as possible. My exgirlfriend is still really attached to me and has gone from begging me to go back out with her to begging me to be friends with her. I want nothing to do with the girl because I think she is just insane, and a large part of that is due to her being dependent I guess. It sucks, and I don't want you to have to go through it. Try to end it anyway you can. (legally I mean)

And, damn, does sex complicate things or what? Just don't do what I did and stay w/ her for it. Not only does it make things harder on her and harder when you're ready to finally end it, but for some reason other girls don't like it. (This girl I really want to hook up with knows what I did and thinks I'm just a huge asshole for it. Oh well, her loss.)

Oh, and plus you don't want a girl who cuts herself. You just don't.

I think I'll just give her this last chance to change.. Then go with everything you guys are suggesting.

[trust]

Take it from someone who was in a similar relationship (me!), don't go back out with her. Try to limit contact with her as much as possible. My exgirlfriend is still really attached to me and has gone from begging me to go back out with her to begging me to be friends with her. I want nothing to do with the girl because I think she is just insane, and a large part of that is due to her being dependent I guess. It sucks, and I don't want you to have to go through it. Try to end it anyway you can. (legally I mean)

And, damn, does sex complicate things or what? Just don't do what I did and stay w/ her for it. Not only does it make things harder on her and harder when you're ready to finally end it, but for some reason other girls don't like it. (This girl I really want to hook up with knows what I did and thinks I'm just a huge asshole for it. Oh well, her loss.)

Oh, and plus you don't want a girl who cuts herself. You just don't.

I think I'll just give her this last chance to change.. Then go with everything you guys are suggesting.

You're just making her more attached and it's going to make it alot harder in the long run. Also, you obviously don't fully expect her to change since you're saying you'll go with our suggestions after she messes up. It's not worth the time or effort.