I can't stand cell phones. I used to have one, but I decided that I would never get one again (in the near future) for the following reasons:
a) I don't like being "reachable" wherever I am, or having people believe that I am reachable. (Yes, the cell phone can be turned off, but that doesn't mean people won't expect to be able to contact me when I'm out).
b) The reception at best is still not as a good as a landline. I can't stand poor reception, or any interruptions to my phone conversations. I remember it felt like such a relief whenever I used a landline after using a cell-phone for an extended period: it was as though I took a phone-use specific valium dose.
c) They usually don't feel as comfortable as a landline telephone, as they have been designed with portability in mind.
d) I always felt kind of disoriented after speaking on a cell phone for a long period of time. I don't like the idea of having an huge amount of EM radiation so close to my head either (this sentence may not be that disconnected from the previous one). And I don't like it when the cellphone gets hot in your hand after prolonged use.
e) I hate seeing people use cell phones in public places -- classrooms, restaurants, etc. It's low-class, rude, generates an uncomfortable atmosphere, and it's interruptive. If I were a girl out on a date at a restaurant with a guy, and he started loudly talking on his cell-phone during most of the meal, I would drop him like whatever cliche describes when people drop things when they are extremely undesirable. I've noticed these guys (I mention the hypothetical "if I were a girl" example because I've observed this particularly with men out on a date with a girl) often have a really dumb expression on their chubby faces
and sound as though they think they're important because they're talking on a cell phone in public (e.g. their attention is desirable). Or they also think this behavior will impress whoever they are with.
and perhaps less importantly..
I hate it when I'm in a meeting or lecture and someone's cell phone goes off accidentally. Either
A) Everyone will laugh (hasn't it gotten old at this point?)
B) It's just awkward and annoying. That's what cellphones are.
and also, I don't like watching people compulsively take out their phones to text message someone. It's like they'll be reading a book or something and I'll watch their knee jerk as though it's been hit at the joint
as they reach out, grab their phones, and start typing on it like a korean with Asperger's syndrome and a PhD. in Starcraft.
Oh and I
HATE it when people whine about their "minutes." It's a classic excuse for shortening a conversation, or starting a conversation up to get sympathy from friends who also like talking about how cheap they are in various ways. Just get a landline and don't worry about regular "minutes." And it's not nice talking on a phone and imaging an egg-timer in the back of your head (or to push the image further, an egg-timer with finely ground dollar bills in place of the coloured sand).
In short, I hate cell phones. I wish they were never invented.
It would be fun extending this and turning it into a Seinfeld stand-up.
