Clan x86
General Forums => Entertainment District => Topic started by: Sidoh on December 07, 2005, 04:05:25 pm
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Q: Why hasn't any country sent a women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. She should have it open by the time she gets to the couch.
Q: Why don't women need to wear watches?
A: Because there's a clock on the oven.
Q: Why don't women need to learn out to ski?
A: Because there are no hills between the bedroom and the kitchen.
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Q: How do you turn a Dish-washer into a snow-blower?
A: You buy her a shovel.
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Q: How do you turn a Dish-washer into a snow-blower?
A: You buy her a shovel.
LMFAO! That's great.
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The one I heard today(coincidentally) was:
Q:Why Dont women need driver's licenses?
A:Because there isn't a road between their bedroom and the kitchen
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Towelie, thats the skiing one. =p
Those are great!
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I read this one in a bathroom stall at the University of Virginia in 8th grade.
Q:What is the useless piece of flesh surrounding the vagina?
A:A woman.
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Q: What's the differance between a run and my wife?
A: I have to take my rug outside to beat it.
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Question Trust, what are you doing in a University in 8th grade? The only post-highschool campus I've ever been on is Baraboo University, when I was hanging out in the woods with Justin, Liz, and Stacie.
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Q: You know what's funny?
A: Women's rights.
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Holy offendsing shit chirst that is jolly!
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Holy offendsing shit chirst that is jolly!
Offending* Christ*
The grammar police has struck again!
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Holy offendsing shit chirst that is jolly!
Offending* Christ*
The grammar police has struck again!
Mai grammer is gooder.
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Question Trust, what are you doing in a University in 8th grade? The only post-highschool campus I've ever been on is Baraboo University, when I was hanging out in the woods with Justin, Liz, and Stacie.
Campus tour with PSAT group.
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I went to University of Wyoming on a camp in 7th grade sometime. I've been to CSU's campus for a lot of things in high school.
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I toured my first college the summer between 5th and 6th @ Junior University.
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I toured my first college the summer between 5th and 6th @ Junior University.
I lived in Kemmerer, Wyoming until I lived in 8th grade. Visiting a university meant at least 7 hours of driving.
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I toured my first college the summer between 5th and 6th @ Junior University.
I lived in Kemmerer, Wyoming until I lived in 8th grade. Visiting a university meant at least 7 hours of driving.
Just to be clear. Junior University (JU) was a summer program for accelerated middle schoolers at a local high school (my current highschool) where you took classes for half a day. It actually was really fun.
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I was supposed to go to Brown (not brown, brown, brown, brown... Lisa, are you all right? You're saying brown a lot) in the summer for some science related college classes but it cost a fuckin' lot of money (4k ish).
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Just to be clear. Junior University (JU) was a summer program for accelerated middle schoolers at a local high school (my current highschool) where you took classes for half a day. It actually was really fun.
I visited UW for a program called KEY, which stands for Knowledge Enriched Youth. It's basically the same type of program you're describing, but we stayed in the dorms for a week and a half.
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I was supposed to go to Brown (not brown, brown, brown, brown... Lisa, are you all right? You're saying brown a lot) in the summer for some science related college classes but it cost a fuckin' lot of money (4k ish).
Yea you'll get that every year. Don't bother with it.
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More jokes less talk.
Recently a "Husband Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left."
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TOP TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN:
10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.
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-1. You CAN'T fuck a dog... Well, I guess Newby and towelie can..
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no, just topaz
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Rofl. GameSnake, those are awesome. :)
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Yeah, they're true too. :)
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I thought the story joke was funnier than all of the Dog vs Women stuff combined.