Poll
Question:
What happens now?
Option 1: Fucking slut
votes: 2
Option 2: Fucking bitch
votes: 2
Option 3: Fucking whore
votes: 2
Option 4: Fucking skank
votes: 0
Option 5: ...accept it & keep her
votes: 0
I'm at Tony & Axel's tonight (names are important this time). We're hanging, Jacque goes outside.
Later I go outside to find her, she leaves to somewhere else. Axelstarts talking with me to get my side of the story about Kelly. We talk, eventually I ask him if she has done anything with any other dude, he says made out with a few. I asked if they were while we were dating, he said he wasn't sure but he knew she had a crush on Frank & AD (more Dominos people). He said I'd have to talk with Tony or Clarissa to find out if Jacque has cheated.
Later, I ask Clarissa. She said "I dont want to answer, if that tells you anything" = yes.
Eventually I get the story out of Clarissa (I hated to, but I needed to know).
Couple of weeks ago Jacque was mega drunk so her & Clarissa stayed at Tony & Axel's place. I guess that night, stuff happened with Jacque & Axel (he ended up giving her head). Jacque told Clarissa like 2 weeks after it happened.
Now, I think an OVERLY fair thing to do is say "Jacque, if you want to be with me no more alcohol." I told her that, she said she cant promise that.
I said she gets out of control, she said that I've always been there & nothing bad has happened (she obviously has no clue I know)..................................................do I tell her I know & she what happens, do I break it off, do I key this dude's car?
Even earlier tonight I was all "Dude, you're a good friend for helping me & Jacque" wtf....I shouldve known, she's slept a good few nights in his bed with him that I know of.
Im dead set that if she wont stop drinkin we're done...do i tell her I know, tho?
Options 1-4. Tell her you know, see what she does.
Ditch her. She's fucking useless.
Tell her you know. Tell her you're absolutely crushed and you can't trust her anymore at all. Tell her you want to start seeing other people who don't lie like a rug.
If you leave her, if she really cared she'll stop drinking.
Odds are she won't though.
Also, if this "Axel" is your friend, I suggest you keep your friends in check.
This reminds me of my dad's story. He went to his girlfriend's friend's barbeque, and asked where she was, and someone said "Oh, she's in the bedroom with <friend of my dad>."
So, he walks back there, and he's unzipping his pants and she's brushing her teeth. When confronted...
"What was going on?"
"Oh hi <my dad>, I was just brushing my teeth. I got steak in them."
"Yeah, tube steak."
And my dad had the nerve to take her back *AND* associate with the guy she gave head.
If it was me, I would have just left the party.
Quote from: Newby on May 13, 2006, 11:36:08 AM
Ditch her. She's fucking useless.
Tell her you know. Tell her you're absolutely crushed and you can't trust her anymore at all. Tell her you want to start seeing other people who don't lie like a rug.
If you leave her, if she really cared she'll stop drinking.
Odds are she won't though.
Yeah, I guess I know that, but its so fucking sad that she'd rather drink & fuck around than be with me.
Life's a bitch. Read my story.
She cheated on him *again* after that. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
That is a grand total of 3 times she cheated on him big.
Quote from: Newby on May 13, 2006, 11:38:55 AM
Life's a bitch. Read my story.
She cheated on him *again* after that. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
That is a grand total of 3 times she cheated on him big.
huh, what who?
What story? Who cheated on what?...I'm lost
Sigh. The post you quoted of me, read its edit.
Dump her. If she's going to do nothing but cause you grief, what's the point in staying with her?
Quote from: Sidoh on May 13, 2006, 12:35:36 PM
Dump her. If she's going to do nothing but cause you grief, what's the point in staying with her?
yeah, my goal is to do it when i see her today before she leaves for home
I love story time. Tell me how that goes. ;)
Quote from: Newby on May 13, 2006, 12:42:07 PM
I love story time. Tell me how that goes. ;)
it should be fun
"Bye, have a safe trip home. By the way, I don't ever want to see you again. Have a nice life"
I wouldn't be surprised if her and Axel ended up dating. That is, if you decide to end it with her.
Damn it, I didnt do it like I was going to.
First interesting thing...when I went into her room there was some country song playing that was saying about "Why'd I let her lie to me" etc, I just broke down.
I asked her if she had ever done anything with any guy, she said no.
I asked her if she had done anything with Axel, she said no.
I asked her what happened 2-4 weeks ago after some Dominos party...she said nothing.
Not until I TOTALLY told her what I knew did she acknowledge it...lying to my face, great.
-I went there planning to break it off, but my head & heart don't work together I guess. In the end she came up with something saying we should take a "break" for the summer, in case she doesn't come back to school(she failed alot of classes this yr), "she doesnt want me to be sad".
-I know she's coming back, she just wants to be free from me, I just can't accept that when I'm talking with her...I can everywhere else though.
So she lied to me, was hypocritical, and technically cheated. (what she told Clarissa [friend I asked about this] was that she didnt remember anything up until he was going down on her & she sorta was like wtf)
We had a BBQ today @ a REAL friend's, Becca (sister of apartment owner) was about to go pick up Axel when Joel (apartment owner) was like, uhm that sounds like a bad idea.
Eventually Becca told Axel that everyone just found out about Axel, Jacque, & me and that he shouldn't come, he said ok.
Later he talked to Clarissa & asked her what was going on & if I knew what happened.
1 fucking God damned month, no apologies, no mention, STILL no apologies, nothing.
People are such ass holes, Axel & moreso Jacque (hard as that is to say).
Tomorrow, my goal is to call her & end it for sure & for good. I probably will want to find some a new class, I dont know that I could take doing band with both of them in it with out just breaking down & doing some serious damage. Cant go to band parties anymore, they're all @ Tony & Axels...maybe I'll hang with Tony (if he is cool, I dont know that he is)...this is all so fucked up
Even Clarissa said she was (& still sorta is) just in shock about this whole thing, Jacque being her best friend & all
Stop being a girlyman and do it.
It's sad when you're too scared to ask a woman out, it's even worse when you're too scared to break it off when they're emotionally raping you.
Don't be worse than I am. Do it.
*sigh*
I have to remember what happened when I talk to her, otherwise I'll just turn it around and ask to keep her (since she wants a "break" for the summer)................................
People are so freakin screwed up.
I post my fun updated (::)) this afternoon/evening sometime after I call...I just hope I can do it.
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 11:02:23 AM
I just hope I can do it.
Weak minded fool. If you don't have the mindpower to break up with a woman, I suggest you stay out of politics. :P
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
Quote from: Joe on May 14, 2006, 11:44:48 AM
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
I dont know, I just like reassurance about stuff...I guess I'm needy that way.
Quote from: Joe on May 14, 2006, 11:44:48 AM
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
A neutral opinion is often very useful in a situation like this.
Yeah, but asking us about girls? Seriously, come on Sidoh. =p
Maybe asking YOU is a bad idea, but most of us have experience with real girls from real life.
Quote from: rabbit on May 14, 2006, 05:57:05 PM
Maybe asking YOU is a bad idea, but most of us have experience with real girls from real life.
Zing.
Quote from: Joe on May 14, 2006, 11:44:48 AM
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
The
girl has gone too far? I'm sorry, but I have a strong opinion about this. If a guy comes to an online community to ask about girl problems, it's
not the girls fault or problem, it's the guys fault. Why on earth would you ask somebody on here? Ask a real friend. Ask somebody that cares about your situation, instead of people on a forum that probably wouldn't know if you died or not until it reached a forum somewhere a year later. I'm not trying to harp on anyone, but for the good of your future relationships and for the improvement of your own self, quit asking for relationship help on forums.
Besides, how is asking a girl to go out with your more difficult (less awkward maybe) for you, than telling a girl you don't want to date them anymore?
You need to get a good STD then plot the spread to your other friends to see who she has been sleeping around with.
Quote from: warz on May 14, 2006, 06:04:14 PM
Quote from: Joe on May 14, 2006, 11:44:48 AM
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
The girl has gone too far? I'm sorry, but I have a strong opinion about this. If a guy comes to an online community to ask about girl problems, it's not the girls fault or problem, it's the guys fault. Why on earth would you ask somebody on here? Ask a real friend. Ask somebody that cares about your situation, instead of people on a forum that probably wouldn't know if you died or not until it reached a forum somewhere a year later. I'm not trying to harp on anyone, but for the good of your future relationships and for the improvement of your own self, quit asking for relationship help on forums.
Besides, how is asking a girl to go out with your more difficult (less awkward maybe) for you, than telling a girl you don't want to date them anymore?
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ASSHOLE. You give me shit @ vL, shit here, if I knew who the hell you were I would love to take my hatch & chop off your fucking arms & then watch you die a slow painful fucking death!
She was the easiest girl to talk with I've ever met...my first love, you sir, are a dumb shit. It hurts.
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 07:21:26 PM
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ASSHOLE. You give me shit @ vL, shit here, if I knew who the hell you were I would love to take my hatch & chop off your fucking arms & then watch you die a slow painful fucking death!
He's just trying to help you. No need to go crazy flame on him.
Quoteit's the guys fault.
thats what got me
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 08:43:43 PM
Quoteit's the guys fault.
thats what got me
It's the truth. It's not the girl's fault you came online to ask for help. :P
He never would have come online asking for advice if she were a better girlfriend.
She could have been the sluttiest slut on the planet. He chose to come online for help. He *chose*.
Maybe its because I value the opinions of some of you guys and maybe some of you guys have gone through similar things & might have suggestions. I've talked with my friends too, I just like to get input on things.
BTW, that was fun. Its done & over.
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 10:15:27 PM
Maybe its because I value the opinions of some of you guys and maybe some of you guys have gone through similar things & might have suggestions. I've talked with my friends too, I just like to get input on things.
BTW, that was fun. Its done & over.
warz doesn't think like you. That's all.
Anyway, story time. How'd it go?
uhm, I decided to try & give her a 2nd chance.
I said I couldnt do a "Break" over the summer cause if something does happen I'd be sad again & I didnt want to hurt again. She said she didnt want to feel guilt IF something DID happen
I said I wanted her to stop groping guys. She said she feels like i'm trying to change her.
She also said she feels guilty when talking w/guys...my reply was if there is nothing to feel guilty about, dont be.
Eventually, she wouldnt accept the no-break & stop-groping-guys, I said "call me sometime if you change"
I dont know, all of my feelings are still changing. I've gone from shock, to denile, sadness, trying to keep her, now I'm getting mad.
(p.s. dude that like tried to take advantage of me [LONG story] while he was drunk [a dude i dont know that well] called and apologized for what happened, she nor Axel has apologized, I think more of some random gay dude than them in this sense...wow)
Your girlfriend gave your friend a blowjob and you're giving her a second chance?
Quote from: Deuce on May 14, 2006, 10:37:47 PM
Your girlfriend gave your friend a blowjob and you're giving her a second chance?
nah, it was he that did that to her
at least thats all I know that happened...thats all she remembered when she told her friend. Both of them were passed out drunk
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 10:35:16 PM
Eventually, she wouldnt accept the no-break & stop-groping-guys, I said "call me sometime if you change"
/me claps.
Don't ever pick up her calls. Move forward. :)
Quote from: Newby on May 15, 2006, 12:37:10 AM
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 14, 2006, 10:35:16 PM
Eventually, she wouldnt accept the no-break & stop-groping-guys, I said "call me sometime if you change"
/me claps.
Don't ever pick up her calls. Move forward. :)
heh
Quote from: warz on May 14, 2006, 06:04:14 PM
Quote from: Joe on May 14, 2006, 11:44:48 AM
Just dump her ass. When you have to come to an online community to ask, you know your girl has gone too far.
The girl has gone too far? I'm sorry, but I have a strong opinion about this. If a guy comes to an online community to ask about girl problems, it's not the girls fault or problem, it's the guys fault. Why on earth would you ask somebody on here? Ask a real friend. Ask somebody that cares about your situation, instead of people on a forum that probably wouldn't know if you died or not until it reached a forum somewhere a year later. ationship help on forums.
Reasons to ask online? To name a few: it's easy to get a lot of opinions, you're anonymous, and you're not asking people who are mutual friends with you and the other party. I don't see why you feel so strongly about this. You like poking the hornet's nest. I do too (which is why I'm posting this), but who I am not to criticize others for doing it? :P
Crazed: Dump her. She's not interested in you anymore, you probably can't change that, and you'll probably hurt yourself trying.
\
Quote from: Rule on May 15, 2006, 12:48:53 AM
Reasons to ask online? To name a few: it's easy to get a lot of opinions, you're anonymous, and you're not asking people who are mutual friends with you and the other party.
Exactly. As I already said:
Quote from: Sidoh on May 14, 2006, 05:36:45 PM
A neutral opinion is often very useful in a situation like this.
i'm off to sleep
thanks to those of you that actually contributed something intelligent to this thread...
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 01:27:38 AM
thanks to those of you that actually contributed something intelligent to this thread...
Who are you discluding?
Quote from: Sidoh on May 15, 2006, 01:31:24 AM
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 01:27:38 AM
thanks to those of you that actually contributed something intelligent to this thread...
Who are you discluding?
Those who have been an jerk to me in the past & decided this was a nice time to do it again, even when I was so low.
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 01:35:52 AM
Those who have been an jerk to me in the past & decided this was a nice time to do it again, even when I was so low.
Oh. I think x86 an moderate general? Just move it to the trash. If not, let me know and I'll do it.
Quote from: Sidoh on May 15, 2006, 01:37:09 AM
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 01:35:52 AM
Those who have been an jerk to me in the past & decided this was a nice time to do it again, even when I was so low.
Oh. I think x86 an moderate general? Just move it to the trash. If not, let me know and I'll do it.
oh, I'll check & see if I cant move it
EDIT:I think I can only move the whole topic. Its fine here, I just wish people werent so mean, in general
I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.
But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.
Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p
Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.
Quote from: warz on May 15, 2006, 02:55:19 AM
I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.
But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.
I agree with this. Well said.
Quote from: warz on May 15, 2006, 02:55:19 AM
Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p
Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.
The problem with advice from people who understand the situation is it's much more subjected to bias and candy-coating. If the person knows you well and is sensitive to the way you'll react to their response, they'll probably tell you what you want to hear, not what they think is true. A neutral opinion is often this best one.
You're right, though. It's definitely hard to understand the situation when you haven't experienced it or whitnessed it firsthand. Plus, you only hear one side of the story.
Quote from: Newby on May 14, 2006, 09:57:02 PM
She could have been the sluttiest slut on the planet. He chose to come online for help. He *chose*.
He chose but it's not his fault.
Quote from: warz on May 15, 2006, 02:55:19 AM
I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.
But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.
Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p
Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.
Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 10:54:29 AM
Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.
Well, to me it seemed wrong, but I won't tell you that. ;-)
Quote from: warz on May 15, 2006, 05:18:30 PM
Quote from: CrAz3D on May 15, 2006, 10:54:29 AM
Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.
Well, to me it seemed wrong, but I won't tell you that. ;-)
heh
I know that
I[/u] didn't do anything wrong, so that's what counts.
Did I miss my chance to give advice?
I think I'm going to go cry in a corner if I did. :'(
Quote from: dark_drake on May 15, 2006, 05:57:44 PM
Did I miss my chance to give advice?
I think I'm going to go cry in a corner if I did. :'(
You could still give it, I guess?
(probably because my head still hurts & I do sort of want to be back with her.........I know, I'm stupid, its stupid, but hey, I'm young & can be stupid [my head says NO!, heart says I miss her])
The only thing I can say is accept that it's over. Remember the good times learn from the bad. If she was unwilling to quit abusing alcohol and was willing to lie to you, she did not care enough foryou. In a relationship, people change, and most couples have to make sacrifices to be with one another. However, if she didn't want to make sacrifices and just wanted to have a good time, there was something wrong.
I'm no expert in relationships, though. I advise you take any of my advice with a grain of salt because a little bit of salt on food can enhance the flavor.
Wait..you gave her a second chance? Personally I'd kill anyone who went down on my girl..that isn't something another man does and walks away from scratch free. I'm going to seriously hurt him. You must have more forgiveness than I can ever have to even accept her. It might of been hard but I would of left her. I mean it would've been less severe if she would of told you (blahblah we were drunk, it was a one time thing) but finding out from someone else isn't something very pleasant.
That Axel guy personally needs to get his ass whooped. As much as I hate to say it, I treat my g/f like I'd treat my most expensive peices of items. Nothing bad happens, no one bothers her, no one acts like a fuck to her. Or else.
Really it comes down to two things:
Trust and Commitment
If she can't value your relationship enough to atleast drink responsibly (Don't get wasted at parties with men) or trust you enough to even tell you..something is wrong.
Quote from: Warriorx86] link=topic=5859.msg69624#msg69624 date=1147732883]
Wait..you gave her a second chance? Personally I'd kill anyone who went down on my girl..that isn't something another man does and walks away from scratch free. I'm going to seriously hurt him. You must have more forgiveness than I can ever have to even accept her. It might of been hard but I would of left her. I mean it would've been less severe if she would of told you (blahblah we were drunk, it was a one time thing) but finding out from someone else isn't something very pleasant.
That Axel guy personally needs to get his ass whooped. As much as I hate to say it, I treat my g/f like I'd treat my most expensive peices of items. Nothing bad happens, no one bothers her, no one acts like a fuck to her. Or else.
Really it comes down to two things:
Trust and Commitment
If she can't value your relationship enough to atleast drink responsibly (Don't get wasted at parties with men) or trust you enough to even tell you..something is wrong.
I know..I feel like taking an axe with me & destroying his car...........................but I'm too nice, probably to the point that I'm stupid for it.
I keep trying to talk to her & explain how I feel, but then I make her upset & then I feel bad...after wards I kick myself like "WTF, she screwd you over, if anything I SHOULD be making her feel bad." She once said that she didnt want to be the bad guy, I almost smashed my phone.
hmm, I need to pick up some women now.
I wont come to you guys for advice there...that be going backwards ;)