ugh.. sorry i've been at robotics club since 9:30ish AM.. I just got back...
Uh, and update.... We talked this morning (i called her, because she signed off last night sending me a lot *a lot* of crying faces.. and this time it wasn't her saying "I'm sorry dale... I can't do this"... It was more like " im so confused" the I need you attitude) So mm, I called her, and she woke up fairly fast, I think she probably just got to sleep... (this was at 9ish a.m) and she was still kind of crying and sniffling and more gentle, then pushy if you know what I mean... So that's practically the whole update.... I think she realizes, that I *kind* of can live without her... and it hurst her soo much, and I think she can't live without me... and to be honest... I don't think I can live without her... I just... I fake it.
EDIT: Sorry if my splurr was unclear, or not to the point, I'm wicked tired...
EDIT 2: She just called me, after I text her, and she seems fine... So fuck? I'm confused.
You can live without her, it's just gonna be hard for a long time.
Also, she'll always be confusing. My ex, who I still like and I'm quite sure she likes likes me but doesnt want to date now that she's back from Thailand, has had a dude hitting on her (around me, but she keeps inviting me places
, not fun). She doesnt really give this guy the "go away" cold shoulder ... sometimes seems flirty back, and he's paid for her drinks a couple of times (he's 18, she's 21, weird). But she'll text me saying "He is hitting on me. I'm not ok with that" or last night driving me home she said "That was like slow torture" (the hour drive back from El Paso with the dude, me, another friend, and her).
Weird? Yes. Confusing? Hell yes. Do I still really friggin' like this chick? Yes
.