So the widespread use of emojis these days kinda makes forum smileys pointless, yeah?
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I'd personally do as Joe suggests
You might be right about that, Joe.
How can I put this nicely: You're not a member (did you forget), so you can't make requests for things like this.
Who gives a damn? I fuck sheep all the time.
And yes, male both ends. There are a couple lesbians that need a two-ended dildo...My router just refuses to wear a strap-on.