That reminds me: there was one week (the week before finals last quarter) where I was high probably every day and I came across this gem upon passing out one night:
1:29:48 AM Me: you better not be drinking by yourself
1:29:51 AM Me: I will be a sad panda
1:29:53 AM Me: have you ever seen a sad panda?
1:29:57 AM Me: they're so rare
1:29:58 AM Me: like mewto
1:29:59 AM Lauren: a+ for saying sad panda
1:29:59 AM Me: mewtwo*
1:30:09 AM Me: no pictures exist because they are so horrifying to actually look at
1:30:11 AM Me: that people commit suicide
1:30:17 AM Me: they instill instant
1:30:18 AM Me: INSTANT
1:30:19 AM Me: depression
1:30:26 AM Me: like some magic pill for happy people who hate being happy
1:30:28 AM Me: could you hate being happy
1:30:36 AM Me: that's like oxymoronic
1:30:44 AM Me: like imagine a hippo yelling
1:30:49 AM Me: hippos are always happy
1:30:54 AM Lauren: hahahahahahaa
1:30:54 AM Me: but when they make that loud roar
1:30:56 AM Me: they're angry
1:30:58 AM Me: but they can't be angry
1:30:59 AM Lauren: do you log your aim convos
1:31:01 AM Me: THEY"RE HIPPOSD
1:31:02 AM Me: yes
1:31:04 AM Lauren: fabulous.
1:31:12 AM Me: so you can't have angry hippos
1:31:15 AM Me: just like you can't have sad pandas
1:31:21 AM Me: but for our purposes, sad pandas actually exist
1:31:27 AM Me: so don't make me a sad panda
1:31:28 AM Me: wow
1:31:32 AM Me: I closed the circle on that logic
1:31:38 AM Me: I totally brought it back to the original conversation
1:31:43 AM Me: jesus i'm just typing whatever comes into my head now
1:31:45 AM Me: totally didn't mean to say that
1:31:51 AM Lauren: hahahaha
2:03:50 AM Lauren: wanna see another pic of me in raybans
2:03:53 AM Me: ABSOLUTELY NOT
2:03:55 AM Lauren: oh
2:03:55 AM Me: IT IS GOING TO BE SCARY
2:03:56 AM Lauren: ok
2:03:57 AM Lauren: 
2:03:58 AM Me: AND YOU WILL BE LIKE
2:04:00 AM Me: "NOW WE PLAY THE GAME MY WAY"
2:04:03 AM Me: AND I AM LIKE WHAT ARE YOUR DEMANDS
2:04:04 AM Me: AND YOU ARE LIKE
2:04:05 AM Lauren: ...............
2:04:05 AM Me: $10000000
2:04:07 AM Lauren: you are high
2:04:07 AM Me: IN A BRIEFCASE
2:04:09 AM Me: AT THE ROOFTOP
2:04:10 AM Lauren: and i am gignlging
2:04:10 AM Lauren: omg
2:04:10 AM Me: AND I'M LIKE
2:04:12 AM Lauren: giggling
2:04:13 AM Me: HOLY SHIT
2:04:14 AM Me: WTF
2:04:16 AM Me: WOW
2:04:17 AM Me: I'M IN AN OFFICE
And for the record, I wasn't high yesterday – I just wanted to fuck with Hitmen. Although I did eat a lot of ice cream, which caused me to get really bad acid reflux, which caused me to stay up half the night coughing violently.
