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« on: December 23, 2006, 08:21:06 pm »
As a lot probably know, and few have probably cared I haven't seriously posted around here for a while due to other things going on, so I'll give some background info on what's been happening.
Some quick info, I'm 14, she's 15. She has borderline personality disorder, anxiety problems, depression, and cuts herself. Also a bad case of dependency issues. When this story starts we were both virgins.
If you remember, I wasn't going to school for a good two years of my life (7th-8th grade were completely skipped), and I came back in 9th grade. My anxiety problems once again stopped me from going. As of a November I started going to a new kind of school, developed for kids with the exact same problems as me, ranging in ages from 13-17 currently. I'm not able to give much information about this place due to confidential..."restrictions". Essentially, I'm there due to my anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorders. Also, the obvious fact that I can't be in a normal school. This place currently has 8 kids attending, we stay in one room all day and take our normal school classes, as well as therapy groups throughout the day. I met a girl there who I started going out with exactly a week after I got there. This isn't recommended by the school, but we did it anyway. The next weekend I went to her house things got out of control generally fast, we watched a movie, but immediately after we were in her room making out and I was fingering her.
The next day she told me she was still with another guy and fucked up, then dumped me as well as him. About three days later I forgave her and we got back together again. A week later I came over and this time we went a lot further, downstairs on the couch, naked, having sex. Let me tell you this, two virgins trying to have sex for the first time is not exactly pretty, explaining to a girl they have to spread their legs so you can stick your peeper in and make them bleed and cry also doesn't help the cause.
Anyway, a few days after she dumps me again. This time for generally no reason. The next day we're back together. Another week or so passes, and she dumps me for a forth time. 5 minutes later I've calmed her down and we're going back out once again. (Yes, I realize this is getting repetative, and stupid on my part.) Today, she had another mood swing, and dumped me for the 5th time in less then two months. This time I snapped, and ended this load of garbage. Over AIM, I said I'll give her two options, we go back out again and disregaurd it, or she says no and we don't even so much as look at eachother in school.
She took the second option. I took it the way I think I should have, said alright, and was done. I then went and laid down in bed. 15 minutes later I get a message from you know who, saying "please don't leave me". She explains to me some story about how she's "scared of guys" due to something I can't get into detail about. We talk for a while, the conversation consisting of her saying the following; "can we just talk about i can't live without u" "please talk to me" "i fucking need u" "can we talk about this" "can we plese try again" "now i realize how much i need u" "baby will u plaese go out with me".
You get the idea. I've yet to say yes or no, but I'm really leaning towards no, simply because regaurdless of how I feel about her, I don't want to go through with this game of hers again.
This is really the only place I feel comfortable asking for help with something like this. I trust a lot of the people here's judgement, so if you have any opinions/thoughts on this shithole I've gotten myself into, please post.
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