The Man's Side of the Story

[deadly7]

> Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
> These are our rules!
> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leavingit down.
>
> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> 1. Crying is blackmail
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
> hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
> every question.
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want
> help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
> girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two
> ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
> best how to do it, just do
> it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions
> and neither do we.
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
> default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.
> Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say"nothing," we will act
> like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an
> answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely
> anything you wear is fine...Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
> shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
> 1. You have too many shoes.
> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you
> know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Ergot]

Read this already... My favorite part WAS...  "I am in shape. Round is a shape." but that's old now :P

[deadly7]

Yeah, still funny though.