Important news!

[Joe]

How I feel? Like you said, gay Ron or straight Ron, he's Ron. Still doesn't have a girlfriend, still a security researcher and zombie enthusiast, and still looks studly in a tiger suit, but I just have to watch how I say it. You're not the first one on these forums to say they're gay, and I'm not sure you'll be the last.

If an instance of the class Human changes it's property of sexual orientation, it's still a Human object. :)

[Newby]

I always assumed you were. I never took it negatively -- you're still one of my best friends online and I definitely talked with you more than anybody on my friends list back in high school. But yeah, I'm not surprised. Glad to see you're comfortable in coming out about it. :)

EDIT -- You never really talked about women or any previous girlfriends either, to clarify why I always assumed you were. Like, literally never. I'd bring up women and those conversations never went anywhere.

[Chavo]

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

(kidding :P)

[Joe]

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

LOL.

[deadly7]

Anyway, brief background (because I feel the need to say it, and nobody has asked! :) )...

I've felt this way longer than I can remember, probably since highschool (like 12 years ago). I never *really* considered it a big deal, and still don't. I've never denied it, but I haven't advertised it either. If anybody asked me explicitly, I always avoided answering the question (usually "are you coming onto me?" is enough :D). The only person I ever told was during an interview for security clearance -- oddly, she wouldn't let me evade it, and I don't like to lie directly. I didn't get the clearance. :)

I hate the term "coming out" (and I hate the fact that people default to hetero in the first place, and have to explicitly tell people when they aren't), but such is life. Stupid society! I still have no plans for a relationship or anything, I like being single, but I finally decided that it was best to throw down my cards. Hell, maybe somebody else will be inspired somewhere. :)

My biggest concern is being treated differently -- I haven't changed who I am, and I don't want people to think I did, or to avoid saying things in front of my or whatever.

But yeah, I decided that this was the best place to post first, since nobody here has any relationship to the rest of my life. I don't want it to be a secret anymore. I told other close friends after posting here, too -- eventually I'll tell everybody. My dad's going to be interesting... :D

I'd like to know what people honestly think, though. Don't be nice because I'm me -- it's impossible to hurt my feelings. Challenge me, ask questions, etc -- just like the vegan thing. Defending being vegan only made me stronger!

<edit> Joe, can you go ahead and send me that picture of your penis again? (kidding!!! ;) )

See, now it's just insensitive if I do my "loolol fag" thing, even as a joke! Why'd you have to go and ruin it for me? =( BECAUSE OF THIS, I WILL NOW HATE ALL HOMOSEXUALS FOREVER!!!!
TEXAS 4EVER!!!!!!!

[iago]

I always assumed you were. I never took it negatively -- you're still one of my best friends online and I definitely talked with you more than anybody on my friends list back in high school. But yeah, I'm not surprised. Glad to see you're comfortable in coming out about it. :)

EDIT -- You never really talked about women or any previous girlfriends either, to clarify why I always assumed you were. Like, literally never. I'd bring up women and those conversations never went anywhere.

Yeah, I know at least one friend in real life who's going to say the same thing. He's hinted at the question before, but I never answered it. I always felt like I was implicitly lying if I talked about girls with somebody, so I just avoided the subject entirely. I didn't feel TOO bad lying by omission, but to actually say something against what I believed didn't feel right. Ironically, now that I've said it, I'll feel more comfortable talking about girls with people because I know I won't be lying. :)

What's the correct social response to a "coming out" event?

"Congratulations!" ?
"Happy Coming-Out day!" ?
"Get well soon." ?

(kidding :P)

I should have a "coming out" party! Invite everybody over, then announce it. Then the strippers can show up (I'll see if I can hire the Hot Cops from Arrested Development). After taking my grandma to the hospital, it would be a blast!



Seriously, though, I still need to tell my parents. I wanted to tell my mom last night, but I laid down for a nap and she phoned me while I was sleeping -- not exactly ideal. I know what my mom's answer is going to be anyways: duh. Her and my sister, I'm 99% sure, have known forever.

[iago]

Fag.

And it's not like the vegan thing at all.  You aren't shunning bacon by being gay, so I don't care.  I've never had a problem with gay people.  In fact, quite the opposite....they tend to smell better than straight people and aren't competition for the very very very few females that were at my college.

But you still suck for being vegan.

You crack me up :)

It definitely isn't the same thing, not even close -- one is choice, the other is nature. I mean, I had very little say in whether or not I became vegan, right? ;)

But, on the other hand, it still has the same effect of making a conversation awkward when you meet new people. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay" "Oh, my sister's friend is gay!" (or similar). The vegan thing is really similar -- "want to go for a burger?" "Nope, I'm vegan" "Oh yeah? My friend's son is vegan!". To be honest, it annoys me when people do that. :)

[iago]

How I feel? Like you said, gay Ron or straight Ron, he's Ron. Still doesn't have a girlfriend, still a security researcher and zombie enthusiast, and still looks studly in a tiger suit, but I just have to watch how I say it. You're not the first one on these forums to say they're gay, and I'm not sure you'll be the last.

I'm not?

Also, thanks @ the Tiger suit thing (I think) :P

If an instance of the class Human changes it's property of sexual orientation, it's still a Human object. :)

wow, nerd. :)

[rabbit]

But, on the other hand, it still has the same effect of making a conversation awkward when you meet new people. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay" "Oh, my sister's friend is gay!" (or similar). The vegan thing is really similar -- "want to go for a burger?" "Nope, I'm vegan" "Oh yeah? My friend's son is vegan!". To be honest, it annoys me when people do that. :)

In all honesty my conversations of that type have gone more like this:
"Do you have a girlfriend?" "Nope, I'm gay." "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Nope, I'm single." and
"Want to get a burger?" "Nope, I've vegan." "Arg, jerk."

[Ender]

I kind of assumed it, too. I remember when Kaleeko applied to join you were the only one who was indifferent - everyone else felt strongly one way or the other. Also, you never talk about girls. :)

It's great that you're being open about it. I think that a lot of people can't sympathize with the gay community because they don't have anyone close to them who is gay. But when you're open about things like this, you can change someone's perspective.

It must have been hard keeping it a secret for so long... perhaps you worried how it would affect your relationships if/when it came out (sorry to use the phrase). I hope your parents take the right view on the matter - that is, to see you as Ron, unchanged - as everyone else here seems to be doing.

[iago]

I kind of assumed it, too. I remember when Kaleeko applied to join you were the only one who was indifferent - everyone else felt strongly one way or the other. Also, you never talk about girls. :)

I also don't say anything when a (potentially) good looking guy joins.

Haha, like that'd ever happen. ;)

On that topic, if you want to run the first annual x86 beauty pageant, let me know!

It's great that you're being open about it. I think that a lot of people can't sympathize with the gay community because they don't have anyone close to them who is gay. But when you're open about things like this, you can change someone's perspective.

I agree. Works for vegan community, too, for what that's worth.

It must have been hard keeping it a secret for so long... perhaps you worried how it would affect your relationships if/when it came out (sorry to use the phrase). I hope your parents take the right view on the matter - that is, to see you as Ron, unchanged - as everyone else here seems to be doing.

Nah, it wasn't hard. I said this in an earlier post, I think, and I meant it: it isn't that big of a deal to me. I really have no good reason for "coming out" now, it just seemed like the right time. The only time I really chose now is because I have a friend I've grown close to and, although he is completely straight, I really want to share it with him (his response will be the same as yours and Newby's). But I consider this an all-or-nothing decision. I either tell everybody (even gradually) or nobody.

And yeah, I'm sure my parents and friends will be fine. I don't know anybody who's homophobic, and I wouldn't associate with somebody if they were.

[Joe]

I'm surprised nobody's pulled the "Joe, you're a religious nut, you have to hate iago now" card yet. :P

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

[iago]

I'm surprised nobody's pulled the "Joe, you're a religious nut, you have to hate iago now" card yet. :P

I was going to say that! But I decided to go the other way with the "picture of your penis" thing. :)

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Well, it's easier to tell people who are, for a large part, anonymous. And also people who, if they decide to totally reject you, I could live with. :)

Also, I've known most of you here longer than most people I know in real life, and I knew nobody would be negative and everybody would be supportive.

To be honest, I talked to some people first first on a "LGBTQ" forum that I'd never been to before, just for support, then posted here. Then I told a real-life friend who lives in Calgary but who I'm close to. And I mentioned it in passing to some random guy I was talking to on email. :)

And that's where I am. Still getting comfortable with the idea, because talking about it is still weird++ to me. But the responses here have been awesome, and help a lot.

[deadly7]

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Not at all. Sets him up to be at least a little well-received (because obviously he anticipated that nobody in our private board would [seriously] go around going "LOLOLOL UR GAY U LIKE PENISES") and could potentially have a discussion about it to gather his thoughts for the inevitable barrage of questions he'll later get.

[iago]

I do think it's kind of funny that the first group you told was your internet friends, though.

Not at all. Sets him up to be at least a little well-received (because obviously he anticipated that nobody in our private board would [seriously] go around going "LOLOLOL UR GAY U LIKE PENISES") and could potentially have a discussion about it to gather his thoughts for the inevitable barrage of questions he'll later get.

The first person I told responded "LOL FAGGOT!" (but he's gay, too -- just poking fun :) ).