What happens now? (with my girl)

[warz]

I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.

But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.

Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p

Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.

[Sidoh]

I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.

But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.

I agree with this.  Well said.

Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p

Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.

The problem with advice from people who understand the situation is it's much more subjected to bias and candy-coating.  If the person knows you well and is sensitive to the way you'll react to their response, they'll probably tell you what you want to hear, not what they think is true.  A neutral opinion is often this best one.

You're right, though.  It's definitely hard to understand the situation when you haven't experienced it or whitnessed it firsthand.  Plus, you only hear one side of the story.

[trust]

She could have been the sluttiest slut on the planet. He chose to come online for help. He *chose*.

He chose but it's not his fault.

[CrAz3D]

I wasn't trying to be mean, honestly. It was god honest truth and advice. It's not like I haven't been there, and it's not like I haven't done that. I've had my first love before too, and I've dated bitches that needed to get dumped before too. Shit, my first 'true love' I only dated for a year, but thought about her every day for the two years after that - it made my life miserable.

But things are easier said than done, which is why advice on a forum (even mine) needs to be taken with a grain of salt because, sure, you read it, feel strongly about it and then when it comes time to act upon all those feelings yous stirred up by reading this damn thing, you don't know what to do anymore and it just fucks shit up.

Advice from 'real people', people in your area, people that know this girl, people that know you, etc, can be heard, digested and applied to your own relationships much easier. I also think, in the end, it'll turn out more in your favor if you just take it into your own hands instead of asking others. Lifes not a destination like programming or linux, it's a journey. You gotta experience it for yourself, there's no set answer to any problem that you can google before you try to solve it, and just find the answer before hand. It's a garden, dig it. :-p

Edit: Besides, girls really like guys with this type of attitude. They like confidence. Who cares what others do, or think. Adopt that mentality and, honestly, you'll see a change for the better in your dating-life.

Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.

[warz]

Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.

Well, to me it seemed wrong, but I won't tell you that. ;-)

[CrAz3D]

Yeah, but dont say it like I did something wrong, I did not.

Well, to me it seemed wrong, but I won't tell you that. ;-)

heh

I know that I[/u] didn't do anything wrong, so that's what counts.

[dark_drake]

Did I miss my chance to give advice?

I think I'm going to go cry in a corner if I did. :'(

[CrAz3D]

Did I miss my chance to give advice?

I think I'm going to go cry in a corner if I did. :'(

You could still give it, I guess?

(probably because my head still hurts & I do sort of want to be back with her.........I know, I'm stupid, its stupid, but hey, I'm young & can be stupid [my head says NO!, heart says I miss her])

[dark_drake]

The only thing I can say is accept that it's over.  Remember the good times learn from the bad.  If she was unwilling to quit abusing alcohol and was willing to lie to you, she did not care enough foryou.  In a relationship, people change, and most couples have to make sacrifices to be with one another.  However, if she didn't want to make sacrifices and just wanted to have a good time, there was something wrong.

I'm no expert in relationships, though.  I advise you take any of my advice with a grain of salt because a little bit of salt on food can enhance the flavor.

[Warrior]

Wait..you gave her a second chance? Personally I'd kill anyone who went down on my girl..that isn't something another man does and walks away from scratch free. I'm going to seriously hurt him. You must have more forgiveness than I can ever have to even accept her. It might of been hard but I would of left her. I mean it would've been less severe if she would of told you (blahblah we were drunk, it was a one time thing) but finding out from someone else isn't something very pleasant.

That Axel guy personally needs to get his ass whooped. As much as I hate to say it, I treat my g/f like I'd treat my most expensive peices of items. Nothing bad happens, no one bothers her, no one acts like a fuck to her. Or else.

Really it comes down to two things:

Trust and Commitment

If she can't value your relationship enough to atleast drink responsibly (Don't get wasted at parties with men) or trust you enough to even tell you..something is wrong.

[CrAz3D]

x86] link=topic=5859.msg69624#msg69624 date=1147732883]
Wait..you gave her a second chance? Personally I'd kill anyone who went down on my girl..that isn't something another man does and walks away from scratch free. I'm going to seriously hurt him. You must have more forgiveness than I can ever have to even accept her. It might of been hard but I would of left her. I mean it would've been less severe if she would of told you (blahblah we were drunk, it was a one time thing) but finding out from someone else isn't something very pleasant.

That Axel guy personally needs to get his ass whooped. As much as I hate to say it, I treat my g/f like I'd treat my most expensive peices of items. Nothing bad happens, no one bothers her, no one acts like a fuck to her. Or else.

Really it comes down to two things:

Trust and Commitment

If she can't value your relationship enough to atleast drink responsibly (Don't get wasted at parties with men) or trust you enough to even tell you..something is wrong.

I know..I feel like taking an axe with me & destroying his car...........................but I'm too nice, probably to the point that I'm stupid for it.

I keep trying to talk to her & explain how I feel, but then I make her upset & then I feel bad...after wards I kick myself like "WTF, she screwd you over, if anything I SHOULD be making her feel bad."  She once said that she didnt want to be the bad guy, I almost smashed my phone.

[CrAz3D]

hmm, I need to pick up some women now.

I wont come to you guys for advice there...that be going backwards ;)