Have you known completely since high school, or were you unsure? If you were unsure, is that what caused the delay in 'coming out?' I seem to recall you talking about a girl at the gas station one time, but I might be off. In any case, best of luck with your father and whomever else you've yet to tell.
Well, as is pretty ordinary I suspect, I knew during highschool but I sort of hoped it was something that wouldn't last, or that I'd "grow out of" back then. Doing things like forcing myself to think of girls (or look at straight porn). It never did it for me (I mean, I did enjoy *half* of straight porn, if you know what I mean). But, in reality, I've probably been internally comfortable and sure for at least 10 years.
Why did I delay 'coming out'? That's a very good question, and a hard one to answer. The primary reasons are a combination of:
1. I just didn't care
that much
2. I'm a passive/introverted person at the best of times
3. I'm the kind of person who hates making others uncomfortable
4. I'm also a 'loner' -- even now, I don't really
want a relationship
5. I don't want people to look at me differently, or change how they talk/what jokes they make/etc
So, why did I choose now? I've talked about this in a few places, and I forget what I've said here, so this may be a repeat.
I have a good friend from a few years back. We used to work together. When I moved off to Calgary, we kept in touch, and when I came back, we hung out a lot more. When I moved into my new place, a week later he moved to Calgary (the FUCKER!
). I helped him move and flew back. In the year that he was gone, I spent 3 weeks at his place and he spent probably 2 or 3 at mine. He moved back a few months ago (maybe February?) and got a place in the same building as me, so I see him almost daily now. We've become rather close.
Now, don't get me wrong -- he isn't gay, at all, and I'm not in the least bit attracted to him. But, having a close friend for support means a lot to me, and it was probably the main driving factor.
And for what it's worth, he basically already knew.
For the gas station thing, I have no clue what you're talking about. Sorry
Speaking of gas stations, do you have a copy of Ron Pumps Gas laying around? Best movie ever.
Maybe somewhere. *shrug*
