Let's hear it!

[Ender]

Quit.

Then we'd all sit around and talk about how he will never amount to anything because he's a quitter.

He's such a quitter, he quit at quitting and came back! Ba ha ha!

I kid. :)

It's rather endearing that he's so attached to us. The way I see it, we are the life boat that brings him back to shore.

[rabbit]

I know...it's hard for me to be me when I'm trying to ask a girl out.  It's so damned annoying.

So what you're basically saying is that no girls are going to like you for you. haha loser.

She likes me fine.  In fact, we're already friends.  The part I turn into a douchebag is where I try to ask her out.  I don't know if you can relate, but I have extreme anxiety and probably OCD in situations where something big can happen.  And, unlike you, I like to go out with people to find someone for me, not to get laid.  So, to me, how I interact with people I find appealing is more of a life decision (IE: how will my life go from here?) rather than a "will I get laid within 1 week" thing (which seems to be your spiel).

So my thinking goes along many paths.  First, the obvious two: she says yes, she says no.  Each of those also has individual paths.  If she says no, will it be weird, or will we still be friends, or is there a possibility for later?  If she says yes, what will follow?  Something short, or a potential girlfriend?  If it's short, why?  Did I do something wrong with her (panic sets in here)?  Did I insult her grievously or cause her emotional harm or something?  If she is a girlfriend, what happens then?  What if she drifts away and starts cheating on me?  What if it's with one of my friends (happened before, so I panic even more now)?  What would I do about that friend and me?  What about with her?  Is there love between us still?  And if she doesn't cheat...would I marry her?

ETC FOR A FUCKING MILLION YEARS.  About an hour of panicking later I totally freak out.  What I've been trying to do is keep my brain from going off like this, but it's hard.  So some things are extremely hard for me.  The same thing happens to me on tests at school and in decisions I make every day.  I need therapy for it, and I'm already working on that, but lo....I panic about starting that too.

So, Mr. Astley (truste1, just in case you're planning on being a giant douchebag), fuck you.

[Rule]

...

Curious.. have you always been anxious like this (e.g.7+ years)?  Or just in the last couple years?

[Newby]

Davis tomorrow! :)

[rabbit]

...

Curious.. have you always been anxious like this (e.g.7+ years)?  Or just in the last couple years?

As far back as I can remember having to make big(~ish) decisions.

[truste1]

I know...it's hard for me to be me when I'm trying to ask a girl out.  It's so damned annoying.

So what you're basically saying is that no girls are going to like you for you. haha loser.

She likes me fine.  In fact, we're already friends.  The part I turn into a douchebag is where I try to ask her out.  I don't know if you can relate, but I have extreme anxiety and probably OCD in situations where something big can happen.  And, unlike you, I like to go out with people to find someone for me, not to get laid.  So, to me, how I interact with people I find appealing is more of a life decision (IE: how will my life go from here?) rather than a "will I get laid within 1 week" thing (which seems to be your spiel).

So my thinking goes along many paths.  First, the obvious two: she says yes, she says no.  Each of those also has individual paths.  If she says no, will it be weird, or will we still be friends, or is there a possibility for later?  If she says yes, what will follow?  Something short, or a potential girlfriend?  If it's short, why?  Did I do something wrong with her (panic sets in here)?  Did I insult her grievously or cause her emotional harm or something?  If she is a girlfriend, what happens then?  What if she drifts away and starts cheating on me?  What if it's with one of my friends (happened before, so I panic even more now)?  What would I do about that friend and me?  What about with her?  Is there love between us still?  And if she doesn't cheat...would I marry her?

ETC FOR A FUCKING MILLION YEARS.  About an hour of panicking later I totally freak out.  What I've been trying to do is keep my brain from going off like this, but it's hard.  So some things are extremely hard for me.  The same thing happens to me on tests at school and in decisions I make every day.  I need therapy for it, and I'm already working on that, but lo....I panic about starting that too.

So, Mr. Astley (truste1, just in case you're planning on being a giant douchebag), fuck you.

If you're friends, even better. Here's what you do and it will work and not be awkward. Go some where as a group first, but just pay more attention to her. A couple days later do something with just you and her, or maybe you her and one or two other people. Then do something just you and her, but don't do something cliche like dinner and a movie. Tonight the girl and I went night fishing at the pier then sat on the beach, and got the whole 1st kiss thing out of the way. The way we started hanging out is what I just described.

I think about the stuff you said too (i.e. we probably won't get married so is it worth the effort and inevitable heartache?), but you have to just realize that the fun/good times you'll have with her in the short term outweigh that.

[Joe]

Hm, Joe isn't usually one to give relationship advice, but I wouldn't recommend fishing as a first date.

[Ender]

rabbit:

In my experience, a movie is a safe bet -- you can't go wrong, because they will probably enjoy the movie or if not that then the movie popcorn. It also won't put too much pressure on you to impress, since the movie takes up a big part of your date.

On the other hand, a movie can make for a less memorable date, as it is pretty ordinary, and also doesn't give you as much time to talk. If you go to a movie then it might be wise to plan it so that you can have dinner afterward. Then again, you said you are already friends, so you probably know her pretty well already.

The danger in going fishing, as Trust did, or several other like activities, is that the girl may have a terrible time if she doesn't like the activity or if it's too hot/humid out =/

But maybe there's something creative that you'll know she'll be enthusiastic about, that's not too out of the way. (If you make it too out-of-the-way she might be scared away and/or put in the uncomfortable position of feeling guilty that you took so much trouble.)

As you see, there are no rules, there only guidelines. Judgment is everything. If you're ever in doubt, just think what Joe would do, and do the opposite. If you need more advice you can always AIM me.

[iago]

...do something with just you and her, or maybe you her and one or two other people.

Kinky!

[rabbit]

It is currently 95F with something like 60% humidity, not to mention there's no fishing in the city.  Anyways, next week I'm trying to get a bunch of people together to go to happy hour and see some movie (probably Dark Knight), which is a good place to start.  And wtf....Trust didn't troll?

And my point was that I absolutely HATE freaking out about every possible scenario, but I just can't help it.

[Joe]

If you're ever in doubt, just think what Joe would do, and do the opposite.

Generally, yeah. Ender and I tend to think alike, in the "let's just get laid tonight" mindset. In fact, I pretty much point blank asked a girl if she wanted to come over and fuck. Result: I'm having a girl sleep over this weekend, and I'm getting laid.

But if losing your virginity isn't what you're after, do the opposite of what I do. :P

[rabbit]

If you're ever in doubt, just think what Joe would do, and do the opposite.

Generally, yeah. Ender and I tend to think alike, in the "let's just get laid tonight" mindset. In fact, I pretty much point blank asked a girl if she wanted to come over and fuck. Result: I'm having a girl sleep over this weekend, and I'm getting laid.

But if losing your virginity isn't what you're after, do the opposite of what I do. :P

Well, so far I'm not very religious and I'm also not going to hell, so doing the opposite seems to be working well so far (and who ever said I was a virgin anyways?).

[truste1]

Fishing probably isn't a good idea for everybody, but I happen to live by the ocean and we had talked about fishing before...actually she suggested we go last night. It was a relaxing atmosphere, and there was a full moon and nice breeze. We didn't catch anything but we brought a cooler and just talked for a few hours. Find something that you can do that is somewhat creative and a mixup from the regular dinner & a movie. I mean a movie is a good date in that it doesn't require effort, but you really aren't able to talk to her (except after, about the movie) and get to know her better.

(and who ever said I was a virgin anyways?).

me, probably.

[rabbit]

Well, around the city the only things to do are go to get food (aka dinner), see a movie, or go to a party.  The only thing that offers a chance to talk is dinner, but that's like...fakedate.

[truste1]

minigolf or something?