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ROFLCOPTER~

Started by vursed, March 31, 2005, 01:58:43 AM

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vursed

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Newby

Lmao!

That's great. :D
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

Quote from: Rule on June 30, 2008, 01:13:20 PM
Quote from: CrAz3D on June 30, 2008, 10:38:22 AM
I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

deadly7

lol! That was good. i've heard something like it before though.
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
[17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

vursed


Newby

Haha @ the last link.
- Newby
http://www.x86labs.org

Quote[17:32:45] * xar sets mode: -oooooooooo algorithm ban chris cipher newby stdio TehUser tnarongi|away vursed warz
[17:32:54] * xar sets mode: +o newby
[17:32:58] <xar> new rule
[17:33:02] <xar> me and newby rule all

Quote from: Rule on June 30, 2008, 01:13:20 PM
Quote from: CrAz3D on June 30, 2008, 10:38:22 AM
I'd bet that you're currently bloated like a water ballon on a hot summer's day.

That analogy doesn't even make sense.  Why would a water balloon be especially bloated on a hot summer's day? For your sake, I hope there wasn't too much logic testing on your LSAT. 

deadly7

rofl that animated chick had a big rack.
[17:42:21.609] <Ergot> Kutsuju you're girlfrieds pussy must be a 403 error for you
[17:42:25.585] <Ergot> FORBIDDEN

on IRC playing T&T++
<iago> He is unarmed
<Hitmen> he has no arms?!

on AIM with a drunk mythix:
(00:50:05) Mythix: Deadly
(00:50:11) Mythix: I'm going to fuck that red dot out of your head.
(00:50:15) Mythix: with my nine

Joe

I'll have to download flash.
Quote from: Camel on June 09, 2009, 04:12:23 PMI'd personally do as Joe suggests

Quote from: AntiVirus on October 19, 2010, 02:36:52 PM
You might be right about that, Joe.


Mythix

Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce


drka

no it isnt. its 2 sepperate things :P.